Perfectionism Impedes Greatness
I have come to notice a major difference between winners and losers, the greats and the average, the fulfilled and the unfulfilled...it's knowing the fine line between perfectionism and execution for excellence.
You can show up for your craft every day trying to be so perfect that you avoid the risks that can support you in upleveling.
Perfectionism is not just some buzz word, it is synonymous with the cognitive distortion called 'All or Nothing' whereby grey area does not exist.
You may be thinking about the incredible people who have appeared to be perfect on their journey to excellence, maybe athletes you think have never slipped up or business owners you think have always made the best decisions.
Truthfully though, your potential cannot be met if you are unable to make clear decisions, take a leap of faith, try new things, address obstacles, and in reality take responsibility for yourself and your life.
The problem is not that YOU are a perfectionist. The problem is that YOU have chosen to subscribe to the fallacy that perfectionism is discipline, hard work, and commitment to being the best.
But what if you asked yourself what this mentality is costing you?
Sure, it may be more beneficial to take awhile to make a decision even if it means losing your shot at an opportunity because 'at least then it will be the best choice', or maybe it feels more beneficial to play it safe with what has 'always worked'.
Now imagine a business you love or admire or use daily. Even just consider the business of groceries. If they had stopped when it was 'perfectly fine as is' they would have either been eaten alive by some bigger monster or they would have failed to provide and give more on a local and global scale.
When you strive for perfection, you impede greatness. Not because you don't want to be great but because the thought of not being great for even a moment feels unfathomably more crushing than the potential of overcoming the weight of this better than ever.
If you find yourself with the all or nothing mentality, identify how it has served you and how it is no longer serving you. Then let's begin exploring ways we can transform the distortion and tap into far greater (and more empowering) ways of pursuing greatness.
Need support? feel free to reach out to me directly.
Lesson from Dad
Sent my dad off to his new home in South Carolina this morning!
Grateful to have been attached at his hip since I was born. My dad is the greatest man I’ve known.
He has taught me many of the most valuable lessons of my life. He taught me to go after what I love, always follow through, overdeliver, take risks, and be prepared to pivot (among many others).
I feel so blessed to know I’ve always had and always will have his support.
My dad has always given me unconditional time, energy, and support.
He has been a positive example for me my entire life and I look up to him!
I’m so sad to see him go but also very happy for him. I’ll miss him, our walks, hikes, weirdness, very interesting and in depth talks, and various shenanigans.
It is so hard for me to be so far from my dad and sister but I also know the closeness and communication won’t just stop and my commitment to upholding the value of love in my life will persist.
Life is going to be sooo full of adventures and this is just one for us all!
My Tumultuously Rewarding 2020 Season...and Beyond
My last bodybuilding season was challenging in many ways
Not even just the obvious circumstances of the world at the time and all show cancellations with months of persistence with Team EDGE
This led to the august 29 show in the first pic which was great to get feet wet again but I didn’t get the result I was goin for but it was so fun!
But also, My childhood home caught fire during my peak week, one week before my parents were going to be officially living together in South Carolina in their new gorgeous home
This happened in peak week for the Ace of Stage show in September
I remember running out of the house (only my room still had stuff in it the rest of the house was pretty much in South Carolina) through black smoke grabbing my bikini, heels, and food. I was going to get on stage no matter what. Thankfully ever since I started competing I prep all my peak week meals 7-10 days in advance and freeze them and grab as I go for easy travel and usage so I didn’t have to worry. The water was a bit of a different story
September 15 we were sitting outside our house as the firefighters rolled through and I saw my dad and heard my mom on the phone absolutely crushed by this as they finally sold their house and now everything was literally up in smoke
My dad had to stay in California, I found us a local hotel that we lived in the rest of the week and beyond
I went to do the show (pictured in second photo) all the way in Vegas. I drove their with Robbie and we had so much fun! I got qualified for nationals and then celebrated Robbies birthday!
It was a major week with all the changes and stressors but I was blessed that the hotel actually had a fitness center that was open that at least made the rest of my peak week easier (always a silver lining)
I didn’t realize at the time this was all really the beginning of the end
I then went on to prep for USAs. My mom was so excited to come to a show. Her and my dad booked a hotel room at the host hotel in Vegas and were going to celebrate their anniversary and I could not wait to see her again. Show location change, her and my dad decide to cancel just incase more changes happen. I was so sad and so was she
I face timed her that weekend and we talked a lot, she was always at every show so the last year was hard
She was proud but sad not to see it...Then in january we planned a trip to see each other in April with the whole family!!
We talked about it every day
Until February 24th when my family went through a traumatic experience finding out my mom had died
I never got to see her since she moved months before the house was sold to get their new house ready
But I dedicated every show to her because she couldn’t be there for me like she always was, and I’ll continue to honor her in the process she was unconditionally supportive of
She sent me a mask with butterflies on it and said she wondered if I could wear it on stage and it made her think of me and the incredible journey I’ve been on
I didn’t wear it on stage, but I wore it so much before and after and now when i have to. If I had a show where a mask was ever required again, I’d absolutely wear it for her
As a competitor, you get on stage and you smile and shine and give your all, those moments are so cherished in life and sometimes I think they go so quickly so we can be reminded of their beauty
They serve a purpose in showing us that not all things last forever (good and bad) so take it all in In each moment
I just wish she could’ve been there to see one last show. And yes she will always be with me in spirit, but she will not be there to hug and laugh and cry to after or dance around with before
You’re going to have hard preps, very hard preps and crazy shocking ones
You’re going to have tough improvement seasons, life changes, and sometimes unexpected tragic events
But you’ll also have many beautiful shining moments throughout. Hanging on to those will support you in getting through the troubles you face—which you can get through💜
Heather came to me in 2020, as a referral from her coach, truly committed to getting through the binge eating patterns she fell into post-competition in 2018.
She is a single mom with a 16 year old daughter she wanted to be an example to, she works 3 jobs, and made no excuses to investing in the program energetically, time wise, and financially too because she knew healing her relationship with food could give her a new approach to and outlook on life.
My process is calculated, intentional, backed my research, experience, & knowledge, and has been continuously refined, but the application is ALWAYS unique to the individual.
How one person experiences something (or why they do) can so often be different from another which is why it is never enough to just employ a strategy.
In order to create real change we have to go beyond surface level.
She was willing to go there with me every day.
Yes, when you work with me it’s a daily commitment. Given it is a 5 week program, we treat it like an intensive experience to create new normals.
For someone like Heather who could’ve made every excuse not to go through with the daily commitments, she sure did an amazing job of showing up for herself.
I love that about working with my clients, they’re all people who are willing to show up for the hard stuff and make it work regardless of circumstance.
Most accept that if they can make time for the gym, their nutrition, and social media, then they can make time for their personal development & healing journey.
I don’t share all of this to scare you off from the process of healing your relationship with food but rather to show you what is possible with commitment!
Having an unhealthy relationship with food is exhausting, distracting, and detrimental to our goals of succeeding in bodybuilding, ESPECIALLY long-term!
Arguably more so than the work involved to move through it.
Get to the root of your relationship with food, understand your habits & behaviors, & make lasting changes that will drive you forward in your competition goals & life.
Learn more & apply to work with me now at www.celestial.fit/foodfreedom.
I recently found myself wanting a bit more of a challenge. The beauty of my improvement seasons, as I’m sure many of you can relate, is the flexibility of meals, time, & energy
I have more time because I’m doing less cardio, more food means more variety & experimenting, refeed meals, more energy for weights, and bit more flexibility in terms of rest and recovery
Pushing heavier weights has been fun but I wanted to challenge myself in other ways too.
So I set some other fitness related goals and I’ve been executing on them the past couple weeks and plan to continue and just see what happens.
I focused on even more Whole Foods and unprocessed items so I could challenge myself more in the kitchen and with finding new things that work for me or that I enjoy.
I opted out of my daily chocolate or off plan morsel of something because I just didn’t need it or desire it much more (ah back to the power of normalization!!)
I stopped doing my 5x 30-35 min cardio inside and just brought it down to 2x outdoor walks a day & hitting a step goal.
I started using a yoga wheel for mobility and posing.
I also haven’t had a refeed meal since my trip to SC because I just don’t like feeling obligated for it & would rather have them more impromptu and wanted a couple weeks off of planning them & more so just if I want to or spontaneous opportunities, I haven’t wanted one & that’s okay.
These are just a few of the things I’ve focused on. No it’s not permanent or in an effort to drastically change my body like a prep can especially because I’m trying to grow!💪🏻
But it fulfills me in similar ways as prep does and In the ways I’ve missed the competition season life.
Whatever you’re missing can be found & satisfied outside the season you’re in.
I will say, this needs to be done with conscious consideration of your 🧠 state & with well thought out intentions so as to not sabotage yourself for the long game
My goals can change over time and do, it’s more so about the benefits and fulfillment than anything!
What challenges or goals have you set for yourself in improvement season?
How often do you set or build upon them?
Good news is, I’ve supported lots of people through these concerns before
Bad news is, I’ve supported lots of people through these concerns before
In other news, this is only scratching the surface of things I’ve heard but certainly these are some of the most common
I used to feel these ways myself. It was such a dark time in my life!! But I wasn’t able to overcome my struggles and have since found that by combining psychology, personal development, mental health counseling techniques, and always always always taking an individualized, holistic approach has been the best way to support others through this process
Applying knowledge, resources, and getting personalized guidance from someone who not only understand what you’re going through but also what your objectives are in your fitness and competing journey is important
Not many helping professionals fully grasp what competitors go through, but I’m definitely committed to changing that and leading by example
You can get through this AND achieve your goals as an athlete
I invite you to join my free food relationship coaching series for lots of psychoeducation, direct action steps, and a breakdown of various processes for healing your relationship with food at www.celestial.fit/foodseries.
Taking the first step is courageous as it represents a recognition of something you want to change and are willing to commit to resolving for a better future
1. “This is so restrictive”
“I am grateful I have the ability to choose what is best for me and my current goals”
2. “This can’t get worse!”
“I am blessed to know better and equipped to get through this”
3. “I hope I don’t have to do anymore of this”
“I am asked to do things I am capable of doing, my value & potential is limitless”
4. “I always mess this up”
“I’ve had so many opportunities to learn that every time, I’ve improved, my pattern is actually improvement”
5. “What’s the point anyways”
“I am open to possibility. Even when it’s challenging, I choose to find purpose and meaning in everything because I trust that if I started this, I am meant to finish it”
Can you think of any you want to shift? Comment them below and maybe we can brainstorm! Or type a reframe for your own to make it real and implementable!
Four Years with Team Edge!
I remember when I first saw @ingridromero1 at 2015 @musclecontest iron games
I introduced myself after having watched her posing videos my entire first prep. I was working with one of her athletes and I just loved Ingrid’s energy and how she showed up for her girls
When I decided to join @teamedge1 in 2017 I started being coached by @joediscuillo and Ingrid!
I can’t believe all the things I’ve learned from them in the last 4 years and I’m so grateful for how close we have grown and continue to grow
They’ve inspired patience, persistence, and happiness in the journey of competing
Their never ending support and guidance has meant so much to me not just for the coaching but for life as a whole, they’ve both always been there for me!!
Competing, business, heart to hearts...its all meant so so much
I have always admired their willingness to give. They’ve both been through so much in their lives and have built something so incredible yet give so so so much to others
I love the community they’ve created and I’m grateful to know that no matter what happens in life I have them and they’ve got me
I have so many memories to cherish, like when one of their sons, Gianni, gave me a $1, I’ve left it it in my bikini bag as a goodluck charm ever since!!
I signed up for a season and gained a family for life!
It’s so important to find coaches that resonate with you, are willing to grow and adapt with you, and who want what is best for you
I got lucky to find them so quickly thanks to @amberjcallahan_ 💜💜
I wish I could share so many more photos or videos and words but I think the energy, loyalty, and progress speaks for itself
Today was so fun posing with Ingrid to create a new routine for next season because she knows what I need to do to achieve my goals and working out with Joe was so fun and I value the experience always
They’ve been here for me in the hardest time of my life without fail & today my energy & drive went through the roof, it was exactly what I needed!
@teamedge1 I love u guys so much!!!
Happy 4 year coachaversary 🤩
What you say versus what you mean.
Is this relatable for you?
Going out to eat with friends or going to any social event with food can be super challenging when you struggle with binging, restricting, triggers, having to explain yourself, or just wanting to be in control of your environment.
There’s a way through this that does not equate to you giving up your social life.
We need community in our lives and it sucks to be stopped from seeing or spending time with others due to disordered eating, negative beliefs, or fear of not being understood I used to go through this myself, but I found that setting boundaries, redefining my beliefs about food, and learning to trust myself around alllllll foods supported me through these challenging times in my life.
If you’re looking for support in your relationship with food, join my free food relationship coaching series: www.celestial.fit/foodseries.
Should You Remove Trigger Foods?
So many people tell me they have "trigger foods" they just can't keep in the house.
When we are talking about foods like these, it's important to consider the environment in which they are being introduced.
A strong association develops with losing control that maybe came from restriction or an emotional stressor.
So if nine times out of ten we have a negative experience with this food it's natural to then want to get rid of it, to fear it, to not want it in the house because 90 percent of the time you struggle with it.
What we want to do is create a new association with these foods. This doesn't mean you have to give up all of your goals or your progress or the way you fuel your body. It's about normalizing these foods so that you're never feeling like you're on the brink of losing control.
This is just to create more choice rather than a forced restriction which doesn't ever feel good or empowering.
What we want to do is introduce the food into your life in a controlled environment. We want to incorporate it with times of your day that go very smoothly for you, or where you've already reflected and done a meal time ritual.
You need to do it at a time where you have prepared yourself mentally to create a new positive association with it. Until we do that it's always going to be that scary thing that you can't control. Creating a new association in this manner is inspired by something called exposure therapy.
If you want to make those changes you can sign up for my free food series. I do a ton psycho-education around food relationships. Then if you want to take a step further, you can always work with me one-on-one in my food relationship coaching program. For this, each prospective client submits an application so I can feel confident in our ability to work together.
Hopefully this was helpful for you. Let me know if you have any questions at all. Always here for you and trust me, you can get through it!