Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Many of my clients come to me hoping to find a way to stop giving so much power to the scale or numbers altogether
A lot of them weigh themselves first thing in the morning, every morning or multiple times a week
Or they did and have since gotten sick of how it makes them feel so they’ve stopped
But then of course checking the mirror for a flat stomach every time they walk by can be just as upsetting for them
We like having physical/visual representations of change and progress
But if those things are taking precedence over our true values in life then it can lead to mental distress
(So many reasons why it’s important to have values but I won’t even get into that right now)
The point here is, if you do these things RIGHT when you wake up, especially when it already has a lot of power over you,
then it’s going to increasingly become a metric for your mind as to how “successful, worthy, capable, etc” you are
So, keep a note card, journal, sticky pad, or paper by your bed so when you wake up you can complete these 3 things BEFORE checking the mirror or taking your body stats
Honestly, even if you don’t weigh yourself every morning or obsess over how your body looks, this ritual will change your outlook on yourself and your life
Don’t forget to save this post to refer back to each morning or screenshot it so you don’t get distracted by social media 🙂
If you haven’t watched the live video Breena Martinez IFBB Pro Bikini And I did on IG yesterday it starts on my page and ends on hers! It was a full on seminar really!! We’ve gotten incredible feedback so far! Hope you Enjoy😍
P.S. I was wondering...
if I told you I created a downloadable ‘card deck’ that had 15 actionable coaching steps, 15 affirmations, & 15 introspective question prompts for
personal development, food relationship, body image, self-love, etc.
all made for both improvement season and prep to refer to at literally ANY time would you want them?
Let me know by commenting ‘card deck’ with a cute emoji or something below 😎
I’m going to release them very soon but Want to see some hands raised to know who to send them to first🙂 ❤️⬇️
Everyone and their mother had something to say about my weight, size, and body
It was like as soon as I gained a little bit of weight or was bloated or didn’t look show ready everyone wanted to ask me what happened
After my last show almost a year ago I was feeling VERY off with myself
My body wasn’t really responding well to anything I ate even the things that have been in my diet for over 5 years
I had to change up a lot of things pretty quick in an effort to get my period back
I was pretty depressed thinking I may not be able to have kids or compete again because I was told I was in menopause
and I had some binge episodes that I wasn’t proud of
Add on top of that having a very skewed view of my body, feeling lost, and comparing myself to others
We had a recipe for disaster
It didn’t last long thankfully because I had all the tools and knowledge to address it but damn it was still a big learning lesson
Considering I actually HAD to do something about it when I didn’t think I’d ever have those issues again
But that led me to develop new methods and I’m SUPER grateful for it because It helped me find my BIGGER purpose (I swear that’s why I had to go through it all)
Anyways, I went to the gym and people would say some rude things about my body like
“You look wider”
“You are getting bigger”
“How much weight have you already gained”
But I couldn’t blame them, I conditioned them to think making comments about my body all the time was fine/normal because when I was on prep I ate that shit up ;)
“leaner, muscles, veins, wow, looking amazing...”
So why was I so upset?
Because their words were a reflection of how I felt about myself so I twisted and changed their meaning to fit the negative narrative in my head
I legit hid in the spin room one night and cried and cried and cried on the bike because despite my efforts my body was fighting me and I had to just LOVE her anyways
That sucks to admit but I hated it
And ironically I was much lighter based on the scale, much leaner based on the body scanner, and much tighter based on how my clothing fit than I am now
BUT THAT DIDN’T MATTER
How I felt about myself, talked to myself, and treated myself dictated how everything else went
But like I said, I learned more, even committed to more of my psychology studies to the exact problems I was dealing with which helped a lot and I PRACTICED WHAT I PREACH
Now? If someone comments about my weight, size, or body at all it doesn’t impact my day as dramatically
If it’s a compliment or a weird question or statement I just say something like:
“thank you so much for noticing”
“yes I feel so much healthier & stronger I can’t wait to be back on stage but now isn’t the time”
“I’m focused on building muscle right now so it’s awesome to hear that!”
Or if I wanna really make them think I just say “i know isn’t it awesome! I’ve had my period for 5 months in a row now!” Lol
And sometimes even “I’ve been so proud of myself I’m taking such good care of my body and she’s loving me for it”
Any of these work for literally anyone could say to me
I still love being told I look amazing. But now I feel like I look amazing which means what anyone else says won’t further validate or devalidate that because I’ve already decided that I’m feeling good about myself right now
That’s the key, making peace with ourselves so our actions that follow are loving and move us forward and things like numbers or comments can’t ruin our day
If you haven’t listened to the latest episode of confessions of a bikini pro podcast it is the first coach’s week feature starring Adam Bonilla and he announced that I am his go to coach to refer his team to for all things mental in this sport now which is absolutely AMAZING
I feel completely honored that one of the best in the industry sees my value and knows what I can bring to the table for his girls
I use my exclusive PTG process that I developed to help competitors through the mental demands both prep and the improvement season can bring
Want a taste of it?
Click here to get access to the: FREE POST-SHOW BLUES COACHING SERIES
I’m also developing something insanely awesome for competitors right now and on top of that I’m about to release something pretty cool. All for free now to see what you guys think
in other words, Stay tuned ;)
SOCIAL MEDIA CHECKLIST FOR COMPETITORS (& really anyone) [save for future reference]
I know I’m not the only one who has scrolled through hashtags of girls who are the same amount of weeks out as me
Or spent too much time looking at cookies
Or allowed my feed to become ridden with low vibes
Or just mindlessly scrolled only to feel like I’ve wasted time
I’ve become extra aware of the way I use social media to make sure it is healthy and adding to my life rather than taking from it
This awareness came to me after asking myself what I might regret when I’m 80
I thought, all the time I spent on social media instead of going outside or doing something productive or seeing something new!
So, Thought I’d make a little checklist compiling a lot of the things I’ve done that have helped me on and off season to keep things healthy online
Plus, social media is AMAZING and I love it and have made many great friends, learned a lot, shared a lot, and have grown a lot of my business through this
So it’s best to keep it around but mindfully
I’ve got most of these down myself except for the 5th one which I’m improving on
I’d love to hear which one you think will be most beneficial for you or other competitors
Maybe I’m missing something?
Comment your best healthy use of social media hack so we can all benefit😊💜⬇️
When I was 18 I finally started going to therapy. I had been going through my days wondering when depression would hit me and being fearful of it avoiding my own self like the plague, I had enough of It and expressed to my parents I was still suicidal and sad.
When I started seeing my therapist she told me to make a list of all the things I love to spend my time doing and even would like to spend more time doing, this is actually the list in this picture- I kept it as a reminder of how far I have come, what my purest needs are, and how important it is to really do more things we love to do. If you make one, I would love to see it!
This is not just helpful for people with depression or anxiety. But all people. It is truly a fantastic personal development exercise as it can reveal many of your values, needs, and desires. I have passed this on to many clients and friends because it is so simple too.
And there is no pressure to go out and do it all at once but writing down that you love to look at the stars sure makes you stop and look up more often when you get out of the car. And that moment of peace or happiness or realization of the expansion around us, could make the difference for the night or the week or the next hour and that is a BIG deal for anyone struggling.
Depression is an ill-defined problem, which means that there is no clear solution. Every case really is different. Depression is also often comorbid. Mine showed up with anxiety specifically, which many people experience. There are many different disorders that can show up as an anxiety typed disorder. It also is prevalent among those with eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder.
Unfortunately, when depression is comorbid with something else it means the person diagnosed has been diagnosed to qualify with the symptoms of both which makes the case much more severe. Usually comorbidity increases the likelihood of suicide.
Many people will self-diagnose but the Diagnostic statistic manual is what Americans are diagnosed using. Regardless, it is important to know that sometimes these things come as a package deal all at once or one causes the other.
Good news, we are all different. Bad news, we are all different. Each of us requires a different approach usually. Even one-degree difference can make ALL the difference.
For me, this was something that I vividly remember sitting down to create and making me feel good in the moment. I was told not to choose things I had to make a lot of effort to do but to just list the things that made me happy and I liked to spend my time doing.
Then I brought them to her, and we decided I would start doing more of those things. And I got happier. Obviously, this wasn’t the all-powerful healing method that changed everything, but it was part of the journey. A part I am happy to share with you and tell myself, even if one person does this and benefits, that is a degree of change worth posting this for.
Let me know if you make this and how you feel, post a pic on your story and tag me or if it is more private send me a dm I would love to celebrate your loving action with you.
I can’t be the only one who questions the integrity and intention behind posts that contrast ‘miserable while competing’ to ‘happy and thriving not competing’
This may ruffle some feathers but competing isn’t the reason someone is miserable just like not competing isn’t the reason someone is happy.
Literally, take out that factor of that person’s life and I guarantee you there was so much more going on for them.
I think it is really sad actually. To blame competing for the inner pains we have is like blaming your car for running out of gas.
Fill up the tank, you don’t run out of gas. Do the inner work and healing, don’t feel miserable (AT ANY TIME OF YOUR LIFE OR SEASONS OR WHATEVER!).
It is especially sad to me because I was actually once this person who couldn’t face my own demons and instead offloaded the heaviness of the pains I needed to overcome by just saying, competing created my problems.
Competing was a mask for me at first. A way for me to have a reason for my behaviors and thought patterns.
If I compete then it is okay to say I want to change my body, or that I won’t eat something, or that I have to workout more.
If I compete then I will be too distracted to face the real shit going on in my life.
If I compete then I won’t have to explain why I don’t want to go out, feel sad, or am hiding.
But now, competing has been a life changer for me. It truly opened my eyes to what needed to be healed, learned, and experienced.
How could there be such a contrast though? Because my mindset is different now.
I went back into competing with a healthy mindset and it acted as an addition to my growth journey, not a mask for the wounds I didn’t want to face or heal.
Its not their fault though.
I mean, I didn’t realize how much needed to be healed until after my first show. And even then, I BLAMED competing for my problems.
But then I turned my ego off and asked myself what was really going on. I let my guard down for myself, I opened up my mind, I actually went into the pains and it was only then that I took PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
No one forces you to be miserable on prep, chasing the approval of judges (which apparently many of these girls say was driving them crazy to which I say, there should have been a deeper reason), eat or train a certain way.
Literally no one except for you.
You chose to let your vehicle beep at you for miles and you ignored it until it crapped out on you and now you are pushing it up the damn hill blaming the town for not having a gas station closer, blaming the car for not having a bigger tank, or blaming anything you can to not have to admit that, ‘I should have seen what was needed, stopped, and refueled so I could keep going in whatever direction I need to’.
Competing is not the reason or the solution. It is simply a part of the equation.
If you are considering competing but scared because of those posts, take it as a warning to do more inner work BEFORE you commit to a show.
If you have competed and feel that competing made you miserable or sad or have a horrible relationship with your body or food, I urge you to do more inner work and healing. It’s safe to take responsibility, and it is freeing.
If you are competing or prepping right now and nervous that you are feeling miserable, find a new way, see if there is something else you are chasing, and be willing to take a new path or pull over for a second.
If you are competing, on prep, or even in your improvement season and have taken responsibility for the way you feel but know you still need to do more inner work from what has been revealed to you, do it, you deserve to.
Regardless of where you are, inner peace is possible for you. Contact me now to find out what might be the next best step for you on your own inner growth and personal development journey. I have been there. I get it. You can come out of it too!
When the cravings hit it is like an automatic weapon firing warning signals that guilt will follow.
You have been thinking about the Reese's cup all day and that is all you want.
You have done all the inner work required to know if the craving is real or not.
You have gone within and discovered that yes, you really do want the Reese's and no it isn’t because of any void in your life or memory from your past that you are looking to experience again.
You are faced with some choices.
1. Hold off, be good all week, and have it on your cheat day.
2. Have 1 and call it a night knowing you satisfied a craving and 1 was all you needed.
3. Have it and allow guilt to flood your system
Ugh, but having a Reese's cup is bad…I can’t have an Oreo on a Tuesday night…no way am I going to have another tablespoon of peanut butter that would throw me way over on my macros!
Guilt and shame overcomes us before we even make a decision. But it doesn’t have to
I remember when I first started my fitness journey I thought having a cheat meal or having a cheat day was ‘all I was allowed’ so I would literally HOARD my cravings up to that day and before I knew it was bingeing on a single meal eating way more than I was comfortable with because
'I was good all week and never get this stuff’ or ‘I can have as much as I want because it is my cheat day’
I would legit gorge on the food like it was the last time I was going to have it.
No one my size really needed to eat a row of Oreos, half a jumbo pizza, and endless chips and salsa. But I was committed. And for what?
I was never consciously aware of this problem. I thought it was the solution, the thing everyone did, the way to my best body. but damnit it was messing with my head.
Demonizing food that wasn’t on my plan 6 days out of the week to then abuse my body by shoveling it down my throat in a single day.
It actually didn’t become apparent to me how toxic of a mindset this was until after my very first competition in 2015 when I gained 30 pounds in 3 weeks having a full on rebound.
I asked myself what I REALLY needed.
I was guided to let go of the NEED for control, not let go of control entirely but understand and release my need for it.
I began eating more intuitively, listening to my body, and definitely stopped having ‘cheat’ meals or ‘cheat’ days. This was a VERY hard mindset for me to break.
It took me MONTHS.
But something helped me to immediately shift this.
I know my personal values and among them is physical health, fulfillment, and peace of mind.
None of which was coming from the behaviors I had.
Knowing my values led me to ask myself what is aligned with my values, truly, for my current circumstance and needs?
I thought back to a day when I was at yard house with my family and I literally stuffed myself so full I felt sick and I would say;
‘it's okay because I won’t eat the rest of the day’ or 'I will just do more cardio tomorrow'
and when I thought about that I remember thinking how silly it was to feel the need to fit it in ONE meal versus just eating throughout the day and treating myself when I ACTUALLY wanted to.
Then I thought about it more, one huge meal could literally throw me in a surplus, throw my body’s digestion way out of whack, and mess with other aspects of my physical health.
Which then led me to the very stream of thought in my conscious reflection that was:
'one now, is better than 10 later’.
After that, I didn’t have any more cheat meals or days. I started feeding my body because it deserved to be fed and if it wanted an Oreo cookie on Tuesday night, I ate it.
And so weird…I didn’t die, I didn’t get overwhelmed with guilt, I didn’t feel like I was ruining myself. In fact, I felt like I was finally free.
Plus, now if I have a bag of something that might not be as nutrient dense, it is a very conscious choice and not because of a binge!
My food freedom journey felt like it was finally at its peak.
I committed to my needs for the first time, let go of preconceived beliefs and thought patterns gifted to and accepted by me from others, I let go of the need to control but honored the benefit of controlling what I need.
I spent nearly 2 years doing this along with lots of work on my body image, mindset, and other personal development.
Then I felt truly ready to get back on stage.
Yes, there is a different kind of commitment required as a competitor, especially when on prep, but to have a successful prep or improvement season fueled by love for ourselves, our relationship to ourselves and food must be a priority before anything else.
Do you know it is time for you to improve your relationship with food but you don't know where to start? Have you been stuck with thoughts about food that are draining you or keeping you from truly enjoying this lifestyle?
Contact me or DM me on Instagram and let me know what's going on for you, we will chat about your current situation, see if I can help you, then discuss how that will look.
I have two programs focused specifically on improving your relationship with food.
One is my Food Freedom Academy and the Other is my Food Relationship Journaling and Discovery Program (this one was built with competitors in mind).
Let's chat about it! I also have my 1:1 coaching programs as well. Regardless, I am here for you and if you feel called to work together, I would love to see if it is a great fit :)
I also invite you to watch this recent video I made with some of the simple and effective mealtime rituals I share within the programs and coaching I do to help improve and increase awareness about your food relationship.
"WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON’T?"
I believe this is more important to ask ourselves than any other question
Even more important than ‘what happens if I do?’ When we realize what happens if we DON’T do something, we have WAY more powerful reasons to do (or not) do it
This applies to ANYTHING in life
Whether it’s a new goal, program, decision, relationship, idea, business, saying something, expressing yourself, trying new things, putting yourself out there, or WHATEVER it might be
We always will come up with the coolest, best, or worst things that could happen from actually doing it
Like “if I step on stage I’ll be so proud of myself and my efforts and I’ll know I finally did it” is obviously inspiring and nice
“If I don’t step on stage I’ll be refusing my higher self of her goals and I deserve better than that. Doing that to myself will be a perpetuation of the ways I let myself down. It will also keep me comfortable which I don’t need right now. Plus if I don’t step on that stage I’m saying no to my bigger visions”
See where I’m going with this?
Think about your loved ones, family, friends, people you inspire or support
How will NOT taking action impact them?
It doesn’t even always have to be about the goals that excite you
It can even be about going against those goals.
What happens if I don’t... say what I’m thinking at work?
tell my client like it is?
stand up for what I believe in?
lower my body fat?
take the actions my mentor has given me?
Some people are more motivated by pain than others
I’m usually more motivated my pleasure personally. But when I need a wake up call or I’m hesitating on something big or I’m getting in my own damn way I ask myself this and suddenly Its like a big mic drop
SO, tell me, what happens if you don’t?
I’d love to hear what happens if you don’t accomplish one of your goals or take that leap of faith or do the thing or say the things or whatever it may be!
Have you ever looked in the mirror & not recognized yourself?
Thinking things like:
How did I get so fat?
Why did I let this happen?
What happened to me?
I don’t even look like I compete or workout!
I have. It sucks to not like what you see in the mirror
Especially because it reflects the things you haven’t been loving about yourself
Like the decisions you’re making with food or the way you‘re feeling about the gym or just doing things so ‘out of character’
I discovered something life changing in my self-loathing
No matter what you look like, it is easier to love yourself & your body when you LOVE yourself through actions
When I’m accomplishing goals, being mindful, nourishing & moving my body with intention, etc.
It makes it so much easier to see a reflection I Love in the mirror
It really isn’t all about the shape of our body
When we know the action we’re taking supports our goals, we can love the present version of ourselves more for supporting our big vision
It can feel like fog is in front of our eyes distorting our view of ourselves
How could I go from feeling like a kickass competitor to feeling like a big fluff?
Even when we know we aren’t, sometimes we feel this way due to the 1 or 2 things that are ‘off’
Mental fog showed up:
When I was binging I didn’t Love myself as much bc I felt I didn’t know myself or could control myself
When I was doing extra cardio or restricting food to try & get back to normal
When I was sneaking bites of food in private to fill the void in my life that I was no longer who I committed to being
When I equated my success & worth to numbers on the scale or %s
But, What clears fog? Heat
How does love, acceptance, & peace feel? Warm
So what did I do to now Love what I clearly see in the mirror?
Filled myself up with more love & acceptance through a whole lot of peace making
Peace with food, my body, & my goals
Which has fueled my mission to help other bikini competitors do the same using my signature PTG Process
Contact me to chat on what’s going on for you, come up with an action plan, determine if we’re a good fit to execute on it together, & move fwd from there with how that will look
Don’t let others use their ‘age, wisdom, & experience’ as a platform to infect you with their limiting beliefs
That’s the lesson they chose to learn, but not the only lesson they could have learned
Be hyper aware of where the things people are teaching you or imparting on you are truly coming from
Sometimes there are hard truths yes, so we can’t be totally naive or closed off to hearing others experiences
It can be quite revealing and helpful and cut down a lot of the trial and error for us!
But we also must be strong & see that we have a lot of untapped potential and ability to change the norm and create new stories
Imagine living by the limiting beliefs of others for the rest of your life!
How much love, fun, success, and opportunity you’d miss out on! You deserve better than that
What limiting beliefs have others tried to give to you but you refused to take on?
Or were there some you did take on as your own only to realize later you had the power/needed to change them?
Let’s talk about this ⬇️
People do not fail to achieve as much as they fail to rewire what they believe
The mind determines your success before your actions do
Regardless, action is necessary
But action without positive momentum or force is just the same old actions you could have taken yesterday
The only way your results can be different is if your mind has changed your actions and your actions have changed your mind
A lot of us can get sooo caught up in all the things we want to accomplish, start, or do that we forget what the whole point of it was in the first place
Most goals are set with the intention of making our life easier, more enjoyable, peaceful, or fulfilling
But then we go head first into a pool of goals only to belly flop in the realization that they are stressing us out more than anything
Sure, the first few days, or even weeks are like frikkin fire in your belly, but then we get a bit overwhelmed.
You know that feeling; like you can't actuallly handle this, you can't possibly add another thing onto your plate, or you are just wayyyy confused with where to start!
So, Why do we get overwhelmed?
Overwhelm is a sign of an identity disconnect. It is a great signal to us that we have some more work to do
Until we clear out our old identity, at least the parts that don't serve us in accomplishing the goals we have set to make habits,
then we just have a ton of space in our mind being occupied by an old version of ourselves thoughts, actions, & beliefs running the show
So, I made this little guide for you to look back on next time you feel overwhelmed!
IF you choose to implement these, I truly believe you can be more successful with your goals
DO THIS WITH THE INTENTION OF BEING TRULY READY TO IMPLEMENT & ACT UPON YOUR DISCOVERIES
P.S. struggling to really bring your identity, the way you see yourself and live your life, into alignment with your desires? Contact me and I’ll be happy to work through this with you❤️😊