Pulling Myself Closer
People assume competitors who gain weight like this let themselves go. Thatâs the furthest thing from the truth for meâ¦ I pulled myself closer.
I canât even begin to tell you the darkness I faced losing my mom & how many times I wanted to give up or give in. I didnât. I kept executing on my lifestyle & didnât cope in unhealthy ways. I honestly think so much of the weight I carried was trauma related. There were weeks on end where I did nothing but cry. I cried myself to sleep & woke up crying after losing her. Getting to the gym was so hard but I kept going. I didnât ever turn to food for emotional void filling & I let myself feel.
I felt confident in myself because I didnât give up on me. Plus when this video was taken it was the start of prep. I knew I was going to transform & all the building I did would pay off & it really has & continues to.
I am not ashamed or embarrassed. Iâm proud. I put the work in & Iâll continue to. I think itâs important to show the âups & downsâ & honestly I think my body image became so healthy & I got so confident in myself that I wasnât considerate enough of how it might impact future prep but I also didnât change much & kept gaining which I think was a combination of physiological & psychological related influencers.
Someone at the gym asked me how much weight Iâve lost & the answer was 50 pounds which I didnât even realize. While I wouldnât & donât plan to get that heavy again, I can say it wasnât from any unhealthy binging or body image issues. I was confident then. It helped me approach prep in the best way possible too.
After this season @seeyoulaterleaner & i will reverse, recover, & find a nice healthy place & BUILD STRENGTH & SIZE which I CANNOT wait for. To be clear, I wasnât unhealthy in the 1st video or even upset with myself. With all that said, Iâm proud of my journey, & everyday of it is a new opportunityâ¦
âIt is 1 of extreme mental, emotional, spiritual, & physical growth. Not to mention moving, business expansion, getting my masters degree, changing coaches & finding a better way, standing up for myself more, learning about me, LIFE changes... This is why I say the mission is to #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY
Hard Work and Intensity
The audio and the smile at the end of failure says it allð if you donât love the work then find something else. This truly goes so far beyond an aesthetic. Thatâs why I always say we are here to #BuildMorethanJustaBody
Great glute and delt day to kick off peak week workouts for @garyudit North Americans! I canât wait to step on stage again and showcase something even better! Working alongside @seeyoulaterleaner has been the best decision ever. Iâve never felt better going into a show and I feel Iâm really being set up for the best improvement season after this too. I leave for North Americans on Thursday and will be staying in Pittsburgh until Monday morning! So excited because my sister will be coming out to support me too! ðâ¤ï¸
Thank you for the workout and pushing me @the_fran_chiseðð»ðªð»
Guilt Versus Shame
This has been coming up more frequently in conversations with clients, members, and followers so figured I’d throw a post together in hopes of putting these concepts into perspective and providing many ways you can identify and work through these as well as establish some gratitude for them too!
Guilt can be very healthy and helpful…some guilt can lead to maladaptive behaviors like punishment or repeating a cycle and shame on the other hand tends to be related to how we think others will perceive us and often triggers deep internalized beliefs and wounds that tell us we are not up to par in some way.
You can, you will, you are, and one day you’ll say you did
Showing up every day for yourself and your goals like they are non-negotiable is a prerequisite to your goals and a precursor to your confidence
The more you execute with a receptive and ready mind, the more you’ll learn
As you execute, you build proof of your ability as well as your commitment
When you can see that you are worthy and deserving of what you want…you’ll want to know you’re capable
Building upon each day with habits, to-dos, plans, and commitments that move you in the direction of your dreams will build your efficacy
Every time you don’t show up for yourself, or you don’t take the time to figure out what’s truly holding you back, you’re sending the message to yourself that you are not ready to receive the results you claim you want, are incapable of achieving them, not worthy of the fulfillment that lies in the daily process, and not deserving of that drive
This is why I find It feels so damn good to wake up and work
Whatever aim or focus you have that you get up and put your energy towards every day, gives purpose and meaning and enables us to see that we have the power to give ourselves what we want
I find myself affirming clients often with an affirmation I use for myself… you are worthy of what you want
To follow that of course, you must want and be open to what you’re working toward and commit yourself to the ups, downs, and sideways that come with pursuit
But if anything’s for sure, if you want something or have a mission on your heart to follow, you’ll stop at nothing to get it out there or get it done…even if some stops along the way are painful to experience, look at, face, cope with, overcome, let go of…
Success is not always just a matter of ticking boxes, it’s a matter of mindful execution to support optimal and sustainable results
SO GRATEFUL FOR ANOTHER SHOW DAY!
This was my 12th show ever & my 2nd with @seeyoulaterleaner guidance
I am grateful to have the opportunity to stay with Adam in his new home & have his direct guidance, support, & fun spirit for this peak & for peaking into this upcoming weekend for North Americans!
Yesterday was a super fun day with @jessi_hipp_fitness by my side the whole time & the support of @mrsseeyoulaterleaner& @the_fran_chise
Truly an incredible family
I was overcome with emotion as I stood in line backstage. I was hit with all that I’ve faced, overcome, done to get there…
I am overjoyed with pride in myself & my efforts & all that this season has taught me
It is such a gift to be able to challenge myself in this way & I am so blessed to be able to compete in this demanding sport that forces me to grow on every level
The outcome yesterday was me bringing the best I’ve EVER brought
I placed 4th in my class & even if it’s not what a competitor goes in hoping for, I am walking away proud of my growth & accomplishments & am committed to improving
I feel empowered, fulfilled, & supported
I can’t thank you all enough for you cheering me on
My family, gym crew at home, all my friends,& this amazingteam… it’s unreal
The huge crowd for @musclecontest just gave me this wave of total presence thinking,WOW this community is INCREDIBLE
I got the chance to connect with such amazing women backstage, at athlete check ins, & at the show
Finally reuniting with @maluaduartepro again, meeting @jenniferdorie_ifbbpro was such a highlight as it feels like we’ve known each other forever, spending a moment with @fridapaulsen before she took home some O points, meeting @fitbyfarrihn in person after years of chatting online, connecting with @saas_and_supersets again, meeting @b_barcelo & other women I’ve been chatting with leading into the show, having such great energy exchanges with @p_finesse , getting insightful feedback from the judges & having @tkguindy affirm the work I’ve been putting in…going to the posing clinic with @teamelitephysique , meeting @jamidebernard in person, enjoying the energy of ALL of it… it’s been a wonderful weekend
My purpose 💖 so proud of my client Ava for facing her darkness and focusing on improving her mental health for herself, her goals, and her life. These words mean more to me than i could ever express. I love to be and always aim to be a safe place for my clients to be open and vulnerable so we can reach to the depths together and come out on top. We will always stay focused on the mission, #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY 🙌🏻🙌🏻
To work with me, you can DM to inquire or just visit www.celestial.fit for programs, services, and free resources😊❤️
Tips to Avoid Post-Show Blues
Last night on the #BuildMorethanJustaBody monthly group call we discussed a range of topics including guilt, shame, body image, food choices, & acceptance of what’s required to be better.
As I reflect on this final push of prep, I recognize I already am grieving prep.
It’s been a day in and day out journey of commitment since November. And prior to that it was build build build.
Prep demands a lot of us, and I’m soooo excited for a growing season, but something I’ve done this entire prep is apply the feelings that come post show about what I miss about prep to having presence and gratitude in this process every day.
I have chosen each day to give thanks to my body for this, to myself for investing in my goals, and to bodybuilding for how it impacts my life.
I recognize that post show can bring people into a deep funk.
Some things that have helped me:
- I identify the standards I have of myself regardless of the season which makes it feel like less of a change
- I prepare mentally and physically for the change in demands, shape, & time commitment so when it comes it doesn’t come on so strong
- I journal about the amazing lessons I’ve learned, things I’ve overcome, & growth I’ve had throughout prep to support me in seeing my strength into improvement season
- I recognize how good I feel throughout prep and when I don’t feel good which helps me to see the benefits of transitioning as well as to staying focused
- NEVER go on autopilot mode!!! This is the final key I’ll share. Don’t do it with food, with how you show up in the gym, with relationships, with emotions…you’re not a robot!!! You can be a “machine” without turning parts of yourself off. EVERY part of you serves a purpose and if you ignore these pieces of you, signals, cues, etc then you’re limiting the data you could be collecting and utilizing to support you moving forward. Many people come off autopilot post show and then wonder why it feels so hard to cope…you must remain mindful through every season
Have you ever experienced the post show blues? Or are you worried about them? Sign up for my free post-show blues blog series at www.celestial.fit/postshow for support.
Strong, Kind, Resilient
To all the amazing women I have met and come to know, whether featured in this video from in person fun or online connections, youâre incredible, you all inspire me, I love each of you and Iâm always cheering for you. I wish I could put a photo of every one of you. I know many of you I will get to meet one day. Itâs so special to me to have so many strong connections with women through life, business, podcasting, and all around. I have some women I look up to, talk to every day, and have had endless support from who I have never even met in person which is so amazing to me. With time and getting older Iâve found these connections to be among the most meaningful, empowering, and important. You all pour so much love and light into my soul and my life
The desire to execute on those 3 things must come from a purpose so deep within you that if you asked “What happens if I don’t?” The answer is “there’s just no possible way I wouldn’t”
I was talking with my friend yesterday about how I’ve built my business & been through many ups, downs, trials & errors
Much like my bodybuilding journey, friendships, relationships, schooling….
I realize now, I’m a woman on a mission & therefore nothing can or will stop me
My commitment to helping others #BuildMoreThanJustaBodytakes precedence in my life because in the pursuit of this mission, since 2015 & through the evolution of self & service, it is the only time my soul feels truly on fire
I know I’m living out my purpose, my dream, my calling
To quit would mean to walk away from something so important to my core that it would feel as though a part of me was dead or betrayed or forgotten
When I show up every day to execute on my bodybuilding goals, business vision, & other commitments, it is because to not do it would be a disservice to myself, my clients, family, future, soul
It would be far more painful to stop than to endure the hardship that sometimes presents in the pursuit
How does someone foster the deepest commitment to their purpose?
How do you even find it?
How can someone know if the path they’re on is one which will fulfill them in the long run or is one of only short term gain/pleasure?
Here’s what I think:
1) look at yourself. really truly look at yourself. understand the light and the dark, the urges and the peace, the painful parts and the liberated parts. to know yourself is to come closer to your truths
2) be conscious and mindful. people who are more mindful have been shown to have higher self esteem. A higher self-esteem can certainly lead to more consistent, deliberate, relentless execution
3) set boundaries with yourself. if you do not know or do not honor your threshold for output then you will either run yourself down or you will limit your potential. figure out what you can sustain for the longest period of time and incrementally demand more with conscious consideration & compassion
I love my life so much. I work so damn hard to live a life that is meaningful and purposeful to me
I couldn’t be more grateful to be doing what I love every day
I always envisioned the life I’m living now and being present in it and truly soaking it in while continuously releasing what doesn’t serve me and being open to possibilities is so amazing to me
I recall standing in my dads office at 9 years old holding a document I just drafted up that was a contract for an organization and interior design project I was going to do for he and my mom
They were my first clients for “design by celeste” and I drafted a contract with expectations that we would both sign
I always told my family I only ever wanted to do work I love and my dad would always say something along the lines of: working to do what you love is an awesome way to live but if you can do what you love and it affords you a life you love then you really got it
I have always been inspired by that and I know this will never change about me
Every day is worth the effort in everything I do because everything I commit to is a choice
From bodybuilding to business to people
I choose my values of freedom, impact, and love
The mission is to always #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY
I hope you wake up empowered to pursue your goals and dreams and stop at nothing when doing so
Every difficulty is truly there to serve you in the strength required for the level you’re seeking to reach next
I have suffered many losses, trials, errors, struggles, expenses, difficulties etc
None could stop me
Because when you are committed to a goal or a dream, you will always find a way
And the more invested you are, the less likely it is that you’ll be vulnerable to anything that could rob you of your potential
❤️ 👏🏻keep going👏🏻❤️