Eating is Not Just About Willpower, Self-Control, and Discipline; Why we Need to STOP Thinking this Way
Eating isn’t always about how much self-discipline or control you do or don’t have
Sometimes it’s about taking steps to mend your relationship with all food and remove the rules and labels
Sometimes it’s about enjoying it because you want it and truly know that one thing isn’t going to ruin your progress or life
Sometimes it’s about learning how to make more conscious choices for your body
I notice a lot of people in the bodybuilding community want to pass off their decisions to how much ‘self-discipline, willpower and control’ they have
I can’t help but think this is an ignorant approach to food and eating
Eating something off plan or outside of your macros doesn’t always have to do with willpower or discipline
I work with competitors
Women who go months without even thinking of taking a lick of food off their plan
Women with so much willpower that you couldn’t even tempt them with extra peanut butter
Women with so much self-control that they eat what’s measured and move on despite tummy growls
Only to come out of a prep and suddenly “lose all control”
You want to tell me “they (or maybe even you) just don’t have the discipline”? Lol, that’s not the problem
I mean, it can be in some cases, but with a competitor like that, it’s probably not
Fixation mindset with new found ‘freedom’ mixing with the commitment to be ‘on point’ with their reverse?
Long term deficit & restrictions?
No more ‘tangible goal’ like a show in mind?
Feeling a sense of identity loss being off prep?
Having stressors or negative patterns of their life & within themselves revealed to them now that the distraction of prep has been taken away?
YES, all of this is MUCH more likely to be the reason for these “out of character” behaviors
But lack of willpower, discipline, and self-control...ehhhh probably not
The feeling of lacking those three things is usually just because that’s how it appears on surface level and how we are conditioned to define our behaviors
“She can’t say no to food so she has no self-control”
“Stuffing your face for weeks post show is just being irresponsible and shows a lack of willpower”
“Falling off your reverse diet shows how little discipline someone has, they have no respect for their coach”
MEANWHILE the competitor struggling with this is thinking;
“Why can’t I stop thinking about food?...How come I keep eating and can’t stop myself even when I followed macros all day?...I am so ashamed that I let my coach down too...”
This is why I believe Passing off VERY serious problems as a lack of discipline is just ignorant
Not to mention some women only follow their diet to the letter because they are so filled with fear of any fat gain, are craving freedom so badly but are too afraid to give it to themselves, have no control over anything else in their life and this is there only sense of it, would rather use a diet as an excuse for unhealthy beliefs about food than actually address what’s happening beyond surface level
WE JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON IN SOMEONE’S HEAD BASED ON HOW THEY EAT
SHAMING OTHER PEOPLE FOR THEIR CHOICES WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH OR NEED IS PART OF THE BIGGER PROBLEM
I am NOT saying competing doesn’t require discipline because it absolute does
But I AM saying that its not the only thing that gets tested or brought to the surface in this sport
Build More than Just a Body
My Client, Nichole & I Discuss How we Worked Together to Develop Self-Love & Mend Her Relationship with Food
I LOVE my clients so so much and connecting with them in this way, hearing about their breakthroughs and their reviews of my program means so much to me.
My Client Nichole & I Decided to Make a Video to Discuss How we Worked Together to Develop Her Self-Love & Mend Her Relationship w/ Food in hopes to help and inspire someone like you to do the same if you are also in a similar dark place to where she was.
Nichole opens up about her experiences post-show and what she was going through before reaching out to me to begin my Food Relationship Healing & Discovery Program
We discuss some of the breakthroughs she made & even give insight into how she made them
Working with Nichole has been and continues to be awesome. She is a great example of how trusting the process (and your coach) goes a long way
Thank you for the amazing words Nichole and for committing 100% to this journey!
I am so happy you had such a positive and empowering experience! I’m excited to continue seeing your internal shifts and growth😍
To learn more about and apply for this program send me a Message now or click here: https://forms.gle/cvfaUAg7M5YQ2VNi7
In case you need even more reassurance that this could be for you Here are some more testimonials❤️: www.celestial.fit/testimonials
One day you’re going to achieve what you’ve been working towards & realize that you still want more
There’s a fallacy many humans have where we think “once I get ___ then I will be *some better emotion or stage of mind*”
Yet, everytime, we always want more and there’s always something else that will make us *insert that better emotion or state of mind here*
This is not a bad thing at all!
But it’s a fallacy because it can keep us from enjoying the here & now
Seeing that what we have today is something we wanted yesterday
Or that what we are doing today is getting us to a better tomorrow
Or that everything we have is actually enough & we create many of those internal gratifications
You know that video of the kid who gets so excited about receiving an avocado as a gift?
That could’ve gone differently
But his internal gratification was likely stemming from how much he loves avocados
So, when you’re handed a challenge that will help you grow, it can either be heavy & daunting or you can exclaim, “A CHALLENGE OO AWW MM I LOVE A CHALLENGE!” & give it a big squeeze Like that kid did with his avocado
Same thing goes for literally everything in your life right now
Rather than pointing out what is wrong with you or your life, you can stop & celebrate!
When you root yourself in LOVE then you begin giving yourself unconditional love & acceptance
That is when you can give everything in your life a big happy squeeze! Regardless of what your ego expected or what you want now
How can you make this easier?
See opportunities & positives in everything you have & all that you are
This picture reminds me of this
I’d never seen my hamstrings or glutes look like that! & never felt my confidence through a photo the way I feel it through this one
My legs are no where near this now, but I still LOVE them because they are my legs
It’s not about waiting till the next big win or transformation to be satisfied
We‘re ALWAYS having those (especially if you look closely)
It’s about remembering that & then rooting ourselves in love for what we have now, & celebrating what that brings us!
Do you agree?❤️ What can you give a big hug to & celebrate in your life now?⤵️
Always finding yourself hungry for more food? Like you can never get enough?
Especially after a long day, an emotional or stressful event, or when you just want to relax?
Turning to food over & over & over again wondering, “why do I keep doing this?”
Like a curse that you can’t break
No matter what diet you’ve got or plan you’re on or how hard you are trying to just ‘stick to the plan’ or ‘eat more mindfully’ or eat when you’re ‘actually hungry’ it seems like food finds its way in to your life
It gets under your skin like the devil on your shoulder
Going from being ‘on point’ to suddenly reverting back to that ‘I don’t really care’ mentality
Soon you justify the actions you are taking or you eat so much so quickly as though it’s the last time you’ll eat this way again
It feels naughty but also so good
Then you stop, & the shame, guilt, anger, & frustration comes over you to affirm that you ‘failed’ again
It’s a horribly overwhelming feeling, & it tends to feel completely unresolvable
But the truth is, you can get through it
While the game plan for getting through it is not the same for everyone, there are some commonalities
Have you ever asked yourself what you’re
r e a l l y
hungry for, craving, or needing...Out of life itself?
You know, the emotional starvation, soul deprivation, & complete voids in your life that never seem fillable or are far too deep & too dark to even look at or go near?
Those soul needs
Could be the reason you’re continuously eating
In order to address the eating, we must address what you’re really hungry for
Important to note again that this can look different on people. Some don’t eat at all when experiencing this—for another day
With the clients I work with & process I take them through I focus on many factors
Here are 3 simple ones that sum up this post that you can start with:
2. Identify the void & its origin
3. Address the void
Of course, there are important sub steps to each of these which makes having a mentor to help you, very beneficial
If you’re looking for support w/ your relationship with food, send me a message now to see if & how I can help you
If you are a competitor, I invite you to apply for my 5 Week Food Relationship Healing and Discovery Program for Competitors here 💜
If you are not a competitor but ready to take action to heal your relationship with food now, sign up for my 4 week food freedom academy here
She Apoligized for What?!
❌I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THE SIZE OF MY BODY & NEITHER SHOULD YOU!❌
I read a post from someone apologizing for the privilege of having a body their size
She apologized to people & recognized her privilege in living in a body of her size & shape because it gives her the privilege to eat big meals in front of people without being glared at...I’m sorry but WHAT?!😤
Doesn’t this further perpetuate the problem that she is trying to solve?🤨
If you want to STOP body shaming, then apologizing for the body YOU live in, is in a sense shaming yourself to avoid hurting others...thus suggesting they have something ‘worse’ than you!🚧
🤦🏻♀️I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS🤦🏻♀️
This is just ONE (I have many) of the reasons why the body positive movement has become so twisted
This movement has the power to be more empowering & yet every day I see it leading to justifications of poor habits, abusive treatment of ones own soul home, & stigmas/labels around if our own body is ‘right, wrong, better, worse, privileged, or underprivileged.’😔
YOUR BODY IS YOUR VEHICLE TO HAVING THE MOST EPIC HUMAN EXPERIENCE💥🌟
What we need to do is remove the JUDGEMENT & enhance the LOVE!⬆️❤️
Find a lifestyle that YOU enjoy & which helps you find, maintain, & celebrate your health!🤗
🎉Celebrate your choices & take pride in them! I’m personally so proud of myself & how far I’ve come in my body, relationship w/ food, as well as my physical abilities & mental clarity!
Why would I apologize for the work I put in DAY AFTER DAY?! Hell no🙅🏻♀️
Treat your body with love, no matter what size or shape you are, not just to achieve a shape, but simply to PROVIDE NECESSARY NUTRIENTS & ENERGY to the ONE place your soul resides in🍃🍉🍫🏋🏻♀️
Speak about YOUR body & others from a loving, caring, & genuine space. If you have nothing to add, ZIP IT!🙊
You’re not a bad person for having your body look any which way, just like you’re not a good person for this. At some point your body won’t even exist! BUT, given that it IS your vehicle for THIS life, SHOULDN’T WE VALUE IT MORE!?💃🏻
Body positivity begins with treating your body positively
When They Ask for More After You Have Given Everything, Can You Still Say 'Okay, Thank You?'
Can’t help but look in the mirror and see myself like modeling clay
A lil here, lil there, less here, more there
Then it all starts to reveal itself and I think okay now a lil more here and a lil more there
The process is really never ending
One of the greatest rewards bodybuilding has given me is patience
You can work your butt off for months on end building and building, step on stage, and realize you got more work to do
Isn’t that life though?
Always room for improvement?!
I believe it’s all about how you look at it
Some people will be told to bring more to the table and think
“Are you serious!? More!! I’ve given so much and this still isn’t enough!?”
While others will say,
“Yes! Omg thank you for recognizing & encouraging me to see that more growth is possible! I’ll take on the challenge because I love this. I am enough now & know that because I’m enough I can bring even better!”
Very different energies
Very important to recognize which space you’re in most frequently
I hear a lot of people of all sorts of professions or hobbies say they’ll stop when they don’t love the game anymore
But I think that many people never have strong reasons or find their reasons to love the game they’re playing in the first place
Which ultimately, in my opinion, allows that love to last a lot longer
It has to go deeper than surface level, all games of life, whatever game you’re playing, it can’t just be about the game or winning or doing something fun or even negative motives like filling a void
Has to go DEEPER, do you agree??
There’s a reason you’re showing up day in and day out, right? So, what is it?
I will be going through some powerful exercises, with my event attendees next month, to help you really peel back the layers & bring you to your core reasons (you can click here for event details if this interests you)
Also, I am getting closer and closer to launching something I’ve been working on for the past couple months now
I can’t wait to introduce it to the competition world. Nothing like it exists yet
I have a few clients testing it out for me first to give me their first impressions and review their experience
Lots going on, stay tuned 🤩
Who Are You Outside of Competing?
Outside of competing, who are you?
What do you love to do?
What lights you up?
What do you spend time thinking about?
What other goals do you have?
What other roles do you play?
Who are you?
Even though competing is day in and day out and many would still live this lifestyle or one like it if the stage didn’t exist, I still find myself wondering who are these people??
I scroll online and see so many amazing women who share powerful messages for others and yet, I don’t know who THEY are
This was one of the inspirations for starting my podcast “Confessions of a Bikini Pro” but I connect with so many of you every day and find that even online we stay wrapped up in our world and identities of “competitors”
So share something with me about you!
Maybe you’re an avid book reader, love making art, enjoy a specific subject, can’t get enough nature, love to dance, or you work outside of the industry or you flip houses or invest in the stock market or love going outside every morning or you have quirks about you
I’d love to know😍😊
Comment something below and share
Let’s remember together that we are so much more than this sport or this lifestyle
And let’s be prepared to continue doing more outside of this sport and our passion for it
Because if one day you couldn’t do it anymore, what would be left?
It’s a strange thought
It would be like a part of you dying
And when we contemplate our own death, we tend to strive for even more in our life
So this conversation might do just that😍
But my hope is really to just learn more about you guys and see what else is happening in your world
We can love and live this while also loving and living so many other things
It’s easy to forget that there’s more to other people we follow than this lifestyle
Can’t wait to hear 😍!
Got such awesome comments on this post on Instagram, be sure to check those out here:
Self-Love is Knowing You Have Improvements to Make and Honoring Yourself Enough to Make Them
Self love is knowing you have improvements to make, recognizing what needs to change so you can become better, and then honoring yourself by taking actions to grow into this higher version of you
All of course while understanding that just because you’re not where you want to be right now does not mean you will never get there
Give yourself time, space, and energy to take these changes head on!
Complicating things or putting extra pressure on yourself to grow faster doesn’t help anything
I remember reading or hearing a great comparison that was something like; Would you yell at your garden to bloom?
No, you just know that with the right care like water and sunlight, the flowers will bloom eventually
There’s no need to rush the process when you know it will result in a flower garden
So why can’t this be true for you too?
If you implement the right personal growth tools, focus on your development daily, and care for yourself; blooming is likely inevitable for you too!
I created a free 18 ways to love yourself printable to expand your self love and help you grow into a higher version of you with self care, healing, and actions fueled with positive energy
You can get it by clicking here!
Hope you love it 😊💜🌷🌸🍃
What do you think is the biggest thing holding you back right now?
I asked myself this recently as I have been contemplating some pretty big decisions
Honestly, it was fear
Fear of failure, trouble, having things taken from me, lack, not being able to manage, making the wrong choice...
Being immersed in personal development and having a degree in psychology is like a blessing and a curse
Because I know where all these fears are coming from
Rather than walking you through all my past experiences, social & environmental constructs, & more
I’ll save you from that & narrow it down to one thing for you to apply to your own life as well
Usually this is the root / cause of much of our angst
When our identity is threatened or there is a proposed threat to it, we experience fear
Our identity is how we define ourselves
Usually if we have fear, it means it’s time for an Identity upgrade
We get the nudge to do something or go for something & our brain is like DANGER THAT IS SCARY & NOT SAFE AT ALL ARE YOU INSANE?!
This is only because it really is easier to preserve energy than spend it on growth
But overcoming fears & challenges have brought you to where you are, so it will likely continue to be that way
So why not run towards it to accelerate our growth?
Quickest way to get through all that fear & the stories you tell yourself is to put yourself in situations where no other version, except for the highest version of yourself can be demanded
Creating an identity that says;
I am capable
I’ve proved myself wrong before
I am ready & excited for the challenges
Is the kind of identity that embraces the fear as part of the growth & creates solutions
It also helps to have innate beliefs & personal ‘truths’ to empower you through tough times
For me, I asked myself “what’s the worst thing that could happen?” Which made me realize, hey that’s really not that bad
I also have beliefs in abundance, trusting the nudges, taking immediate action with great urgency, going all in for my mission which is everything...& so on
Comment below with something you feel is holding you back & then 1 solid belief you have that can help you ⬇️🧠👀❤️
Next time you’re sitting on a plane, watch what happens when the flight attendants go down the aisle
While not every airline hands out snacks, many still do
I can remember once when I was becoming more conscious of my eating behaviors, a flight attendant offered me cookies or pretzels, mmm biscoff cookie yes please!
I took some
But I didn’t open the package. I checked in with myself & my body first. I wasn’t hungry at all & It wasn’t even time for my next meal based on clock standards
Then I looked around at other passengers who all immediately tore into their bag & started eating
I thought to myself, “no way they are ALL hungry right now”
Proceeded by, “So why do they just eat out of habit? Someone gives them free food & they eat it right away? How strange that we do this”
My thoughts persisted, quite a good conversation with myself actually
Which led me to a lesson I use with some of my clients
When food is put in front of you, or you are standing in your kitchen wanting to go back for more, or you get that overwhelming urge to eat
Ask yourself, “is this airplane eating behavior?”
“Am I just eating it because it is here? Or do I really truly want it?”
Of course, this is a very simple question you can immediately ask yourself
The majority of my clients going through my food relationship healing & discovery program have full rituals to help them truly move through what’s happening
But in a pinch, at an event, or when you just need to slow down because you’re not sure how to ask for a 3rd chip bowl, this is a good analogy to consider
Now, this is not to say you should only eat when you feel hungry or you should never eat when given food
It’s just a way to bring more awareness / mindfulness to your choice
If you have a hard time connecting to your intuition, don’t complicate things
Just ask the simple question & pretend you’re on a plane & the flight attendant has just offered you this
You can say yes & save it for later, you can enjoy it now as part of the experience, you can eat it because you’re hungry or know you will be, or you can even say no
What do you think about this?
Need more support? Contact me now, let’s chat about it🥨🥜🧠❤️