Are you putting a Bandaid where there should be Stitches?

I remember when I felt like the 'odd one out'.
I always become obsessive about the things I enjoy, love, or am passionate about.

When I started my fitness journey I became a total gym junkie.

This was also at a time in my life where things were just less than great for me. Suffering with depression and anxiety on levels beyond me I needed something to turn to.

I remember feeling like my environment, the people around me, couldn't support or understand me.

I needed an outlet.


I turned to the gym and exercise to try and fill this empty feeling and even potentially cure it.
I realize I was just putting a bandaid on it.

I was trying to fill a void with something that I thought could 'fix' my darkness. Boy, was I wrong.

I was really lacking confidence in my body at the time and felt as though I wasn't living up to my potential (I always compete with myself and like to be my best).

I thought;
"If only I could be more fit, healthy, muscular, imagine how much more I could accomplish"
This is a good thought pattern to have.
But unfortunately, it wasn't the only one.
The voices screamed at me things like;
"Fat" 
"Gross"
"Jiggly" 
"No friends" 
And the list goes on.

My journey started in more loathe than it did love.
Which explains why it resulted in more loathe than love (well at least at the start).

I felt awesome but it took me a few years to realize I had an unhealthy mental relationship with food and working out.

I remember a shift occurred that allowed me to see these unhealthy patterns I had developed.

I had seen amazing physical results but still felt empty and unfulfilled.

Mission NOT accomplished.

That's when I realized it's about Building More than Just a Body.

Because no external plug could fill an internal black hole.

I had some work to do.

I began focusing on what was really going on. 

I started taking care of myself more.

Literally, from my hygiene to random things that made me happy. I started giving more to myself.

I began separating myself from 'friends' who were more like energy suckers who didn't seem to care about how I felt all that much.

I started listening to how things made me feel, how people made me feel, and how I was feeling without anything at all.
I was still depressed and I went to therapy, this was a huge thing for me.

I understand, the physical results are so amazing and important and they mean a lot and it is OKAY to want to change physically.

But the internal world is where your soul resides. And if your soul is nudging you in a different direction than your body, trust your soul and your body will thank her.

Building more than just a body means aligning inner work with physical results to truly experience change in your self love, confidence, mindset, behavior and well-being all along side exercise and nutrition that fulfills you and makes you feel amazing for the long term.

It's about digging deeper, addressing the wounds, and making sure you really, really heal.
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❤❤❤

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