![]() What would be different in your day to day reality if you spent more time celebrating your soul than criticizing the shell you live in? Personally it’s brought me more pride, confidence, and trust. Seeing myself for who I am while staying present to areas for growth has empowered me to look beyond surface level and celebrate what really makes me me. We both know that you can’t remember that pimple, wrinkle, scar, food in teeth, stray hair, or any other unmet “standard” when thinking back on conversations with others. What makes yours more memorable? Latching onto anxieties about how others perceive us comes from the desire to protect ourselves by having a community that accepts us. It’s ingrained in our DNA really, but it doesn’t have to mean we turn that into negative self judgment. Usually these judgments come from an “ideal” we perceive to exist in the places we are seeking to grow in, which then can put unfair pressure on ourselves that at times can be in-conducive to growth. What’s interesting is we tend to remember more of the real connections than the manufactured ones because these are the ones our brains recognize as protective factors (even if the real connections are strange). If you feel a lack of connection to your communities (work, family, friends, sport, etc) then start by looking at where you personally feel you don’t belong, where those beliefs came from, and if there are then areas you wish to actually improve on for your own life and benefit then accept and begin doing so, if it’s coming from negative or untrue beliefs about yourself or the community then create a list of reasons you do belong or are an asset or maybe need different! Hope this helps you take some pressure of yourself and find that you can fit in right where you are while striving for more, that’s the beauty of it really because we are all seeking ways to grow even those “on top”.
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Celeste Rains-Turk
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