Opening up a side of me I have never shared, but a side which taught me a VERY valuable lesson I hold to this day...
2 years ago I realized that I would become very judgmental, skeptical, or over anxious based on the outcomes from other people’s actions not meeting my exceedingly high expectations that I never even bothered to share with them in the first place.
I would lose patience when I hired someone to work for me and it wouldn’t be done in x time or with x precision. I was quite demanding and quick to let someone go if they didn’t satisfy me, no second chances.
I wasn’t an asshole though, in fact, I was a big push over. I’d silently be upset that a need of mine wasn’t met and then I would just never hire them again, I’d tell them I was not satisfied, or I would shrug it off.
I also had a pattern and tendency to hold grudges in friendships and relationships.
It wasn’t until I felt myself constantly feeling inadequate And looked down upon even when i was doing my best because I wasn’t meeting MY OWN expectations, so it’s no wonder I would become anxious if other people’s behaviors weren’t exactly what I hoped for.
But It hit me that for every time I was let down, hurt, disappointed, or a secret expectation of mine wasn’t met, I was wasting my energy being upset and I wasn’t giving myself or others room to breathe, expand or grow.
Then I saw this surfacing more and more in my relationship with myself (i was projecting my own inadequacy on others clearly).
Totally unforgiving, totally demanding, and expectations that were quite unrealistic.
I asked myself, what defines my success, what would make me feel proud of my efforts?
And it comes down to if I know I have given my best every day with everything I have available to me then I feel most aligned and proud of myself.
I began to realize, I always did the best i could with what I was given. I NEVER intentionally sought failure or pain or defeat. I always strived for more, I wanted to excel at all costs, I wanted to overdeliver and I always wanted to be better than the day before. (Please note these are all awesome beliefs I still have, I just had a poor mindset in the past around slip ups)
So If i had a slip up, it was never because I wanted to...
I then established this belief which helps me to release anxiety, anger, & unrealistic expectations so I can embrace more loving kindness and a deeper point of view to connect with people and myself more.
I choose to believe that nobody is out to get us...
So why do we treat people like they are?
Yes, establish boundaries.
Yes, set expectations and aim high.
Yes, stand up for what you want.
But when things don’t go to plan, before freaking out, ask yourself, did I do everything I could with what I had?
And then ask yourself, did they do everything they could with what they had.
If you’re satisfied with the answers then learn the lesson and grow from it.
If you’re not satisfied with the answer then trace your steps back and see what could have been executed better, then, start again.
What do you think? Do you agree/believe this?
Have you experienced this before?
|Celeste Rains-Turk; Celestial_Fit International and Building More than Just a Body||