Fear of Letting People In; What it means and what we can learn from it

Have you ever been afraid to get close to people because you are worried they might leave you?


This week my close friends (my family) opened up about how it feels to be afraid to lose each other


So then pushing each other away, or not getting close to someone, or not letting them in anymore is our protection mechanism


Did you know there’s actually a name for a lot of the crazy ways we think?


In this case this represents multiple cognitive distortions including, but not limited to:


—Catastrophizing (expecting the worst)


—Emotional Reasoning (thinking our feelings are the reality)


—Overgeneralizing (taking an event and then seeing it as a constant pattern)


It’s so easy to feel like we are alone in these feelings too but when we open up about them or someone close to us does we feel safe to express that we feel that way too

There have been so many moments of growth that it is only natural that many friends come and go


But sometimes something goes sour or we begin to fear that this will become a normal thing


That we will always have to grieve friendships and people


But it doesn’t have to be


I believe the more open we can be then the more understanding of each other’s behavior we become


If you know someone is fearful of this then them trying to push you away maybe is just a reaction of that, not because they actually want you gone


So instead of taking it personally we can find compassion


This is NO excuse for toxic treatment though


If someone is really treating you poorly, making you feel lesser than, and projecting shit onto you, it is much healthier to let them go and find self-compassion instead


Just being mindful of what’s REALLY happening in the brain has a funny way of bringing me some peace


And to be able to express it is a beautiful thing

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