Happily Pursuing my Goals!

Here’s some of what I’ve been processing lately with just under 6 weeks left to my 1st show of the year…

Prepping in a bigger body because I took the necessary time off to build can be really challenging especially after coming from a season as crazy as 2020 & my last stage package being one where I was very small. The women placing in my class were at least 10lbs heavier which was good for me to see. So taking the time off has allowed me to build a better shape which also means it’s like a whole new body to be prepping in. This doesn’t diminish some of the thoughts like, what if it’s not my best, what if I’m not where I need to be, should I even do this show…but I will say, my ability to pull myself out of the stinking thinking (usually after letting it all out) is pretty good.

I rationalize with myself and I also talk it out with people I trust. I journal, reflect, & I focus on the results I DO want & the work I have DONE and how it’s all brought me here & therefore, worth it! I’m improved and there’s no denying it. Each show I will get better & I will learn as I always have. Having core beliefs & positive standards to bring me back to center helps me to ground myself in those moments of doubt or worry.

I’m not fully prepared to share everything I’ve been processing behind the scenes yet but the theme of uncertainty has also been prominent. It’s strange to be doing a prep without my mom being alive to cheer me on, this change has left me with new experiences & emotions. It’s strange to be prepping while also completing my masters & preparing to take a board exam & having 0 clue what’s next for me in that realm anyways because all I care about pursuing is impact in the bodybuilding community which is different, to some extent, than the clinical experience I’ve been getting. I’m left with many questions about what’s next in my life.

I have many things I’m grateful for & look forward to! I can’t wait for each training session, client email or inquiry, opportunity to counsel at the internship, & the people I meet, & every moment with loved ones.

I hope my reflection helps you feel less alone & know you can be HAPPILY pursuing while also healing & reflecting❤️🤗

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