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LET’S TALK ABOUT SETTING BOUNDARIES (from a space of genuine love!)
Seems like many of the connections, followers, friends, and clients I have have been wondering about boundary setting so I thought I’d share some of my best insight that you can implement RIGHT NOW.
First things first, you may not like this but, we cannot set boundaries with other people or even things if we do not first recognize the boundaries we need to set for ourselves.
Or Maybe you already have lines drawn but others keep crossing them...then we would investigate where you are crossing your own boundaries.
“What am I doing to myself that doesn’t feel good?”
Maybe it’s as simple as turning off the phone when working out because you can’t be disturbed and need to focus.
Or choosing to come home and put your feet up instead of beating yourself up over things that still ‘need to get done’.
Second, what the heck is a boundary anyways? Define the word ‘boundary’ clearly.
“What is a boundary?”
“Why do I want to set them/feel I need them?”
Third, put yourself in the other persons shoes. I know it’s cliché but trust me here.
Consider this, maybe people ALWAYS need your help, and this is a boundary you’d like to cross since your return is minimal or it takes you from getting things done that you’re expected to or need to.
So, you begin half listening to others or shutting them out completely hoping it will keep them away.
But what this really does is just put up a wall, it’s caution tape over a sinkhole.
You have to reestablish a foundation.
Well, instead of keeping yourself distracted by doing your work while barely listening or staring at your phone while your partner or friend wants to talk, you can politely do the following;
1. Recognize their existence and desire to see/seek you. Undivided attention.
2. Acknowledge their request and explain your situation, expectation, needs, and availability to commit.
“Hey girl totally understand you could use a hand with the project you’re working on and I’ll be happy to help you once I complete this in the next 20 minutes.
Since you deserve my full support I want to do it when I can provide that! If I don’t come in 20 minutes you come find me, Is that cool? Thanks!”
There is no hatred in that, that actually feels better to do and to receive than just shutting someone out or resenting them for coming to you.
A boundary is not a wall in my opinion. It’s a standard and you’re the only one who can bend it, mend it, enforce it, and build it.
Say NO to the things your soul is resisting but do so in a way that actually resonates with your soul and makes you feel more connected to the energy of freedom and love.
This way when you emit the need to set a boundary with someone, they have a more clear understanding of your request and are more likely to honor it without hard feelings.
And if someone crosses the line, even after you KNOW you set a clear boundary, then they are in the wrong and you have to decide how to address that.
But if they cross a line that you never really drew anyways, that’s on YOU to take responsibility for and learn from and try again.
I could go on and on about this but it’s much easier to understand when it’s relative to specifics of your individual situation.
If you are struggling to set a clear boundary in your life at the moment, I am happy to make myself available for a quick call to help you gain clarity on how to set the boundary with love.
Just contact me or click HERE and I’ll get you on my calendar 🤗❤️
What was your main takeaway from this? I would love to know!⬇️