I cried my eyes out...I needed to FEEL

I cried my eyes out last week.

I was drained beyond drained.

I hadn’t let myself feel for too long, I mean feel DEEPLY...

I kept putting more and more and more pressure on myself which was entirely counterproductive to the results I was and am seeking.

I had finished a workout and could just feel this physical manifestation of pure mental, emotional, and even physiological exhaustion just wave over me.

I wasn’t sad.
I wasn’t upset.
I was just needing to be human.

I collapsed in the sun under a blanket sobbing, and it was such a powerfully soothing release.

I cuddled under blankets and slept.

I turned off.

I reset. 

The next day I was much more productive, but still not entirely myself.

I honor the process I’m in and recognize that it isn’t glamorous but that’s what makes it so rewarding.

Yesterday I was in more flow, I was happy, feeling accomplished, and hit my workouts hard, served my clients at a high level, and had content flowing through me. 

I even made time to pamper myself and take an Epsom salt bath.

And then a familiar feeling rushed over my body...anxiety, hello old friend.

I began feeling very anxious wondering if my happiness would last. It took me back to the days of my severe depression and the anxiety I would feel not knowing if depression would wave over me and through me again without my control.

But, I caught it.

I recognized this feeling because I had explored it and felt it so many times before that I could address it, listen to it, and then choose to tune into a higher vibrational thought.

I knew that while all things ebb and flow, I could find beauty in the struggles.

After taking myself through some of my self-love and inner peace exercises/rituals, I felt more connected to my soul.

I think of this picture as a representation of being fully present in the moment, my mind, my energy, my whole essence of self and months of construction all in this moment on stage, and that’s what I am working so diligently on right now...

I embrace this sport, the triumphs, the fight against resistance, the choices, the commitment, the knowledge, the dedication, the precision...and so much more as a positive tool for my fulfillment in this life.

I catch myself in constant gratitude for this process, while it can be grueling and painful and leave me sore, tired, and weak...it also brings me JOY, passion, play, fulfillment, love, art, creativity, and so much more. It is indescribable the feeling of giving yourself exactly what you want every day and pursuing the actions needed to keep upleveling.

This works for all areas of life...

If we aren’t willing to face the challenges then we cannot expect to receive the rewards that require a stronger, more driven, more determined, more mentally sound version of us that only truly comes from the choice to BECOME that higher identity we all ALREADY have within us...

You have the power to believe in more, therefore you have the power to become more.

What’s stopping you? 
What resistance do you need to face and overcome?
What is ONE action step you can take to bring you closer to your goals, your higher self?
Where do you need to be more kind and loving to yourself so your soul can feel free and have the space to expand?

I’d love to hear your answers and hear you declare the action step so that I can hold you accountable to stepping further into the next level version of yourself! 💪🏻🔥

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