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I sat in a bathtub for more than 5 hours picking at my birthmark until I peeled it off and bled for hours.
My birthmark is a medium dark brown spot on my left leg right in the middle of my thigh.
When I was younger I would wear shorts long enough to cover my birthmark or I would hide it under pants.
I was so self conscious of my birthmark for the longest time. I hated it and thought it was so big and obvious and I couldn’t stand when people called it a mole.
Some kids would poke fun at it but they didn’t know any better and neither did I.
I never thought other people’s birth marks were weird, so the establishment of this self-consciousness likely came from my limiting belief formed from being different looking or having something like this in a place most people don’t. We learn both positive and negative lessons throughout our life and from these childhood experiences I formed a negative self image and tried to hide something so tiny.
I’ll also add that many people never said anything, didn’t care, or even said it was cute! But to me it was ‘wrong’ and ‘weird’ and ‘ugly’.
So one day I literally got in the bathtub for hours to make my skin so soft that when I dug my nails into it I could create a cut and peel it off.
It hurt a little from what I remember. I looked down and had my birthmark in my hand and it was no longer on my leg, I felt weird honestly. And I thought I’ll probably scar but at least it won’t be this birthmark it’ll just be a scar.
So I cleaned it, covered it in various skin ointments for antibacterial, and I put bandaids on it for days.
I was feeling accomplished but also it was painful and not fun.
Then one day I was able to see the scabbing had died down as I peeled off the bandage I realized THE BIRTHMARK CAME BACK!!!! AND THIS TIME HAD A LITTLE EXTRA TAIL FROM WHERE I PEELED IT BACK😱 I was in complete shock...’how is this even possible?’ I thought it would go away forever and now here it is even BIGGER and more out of shape than before.
I was disappointed to say the least.
It wasn’t until a few years later I started playing volleyball and my sister said, “Celeste, who cares about your birthmark!? You have to wear spandex to volleyball don’t you dare go to practice in soccer shorts!” So, I went in my spandex the team gave me and I was so nervous on the first day I’d put my hand over it during breaks to hide it.
Looking back, I don’t know why I hated it so much. I think I felt like I was being judged for it or that it was ugly. I was very self conscious of it for so long.
After constantly being in spandex for my love of volleyball, my insecurities went away, I no longer cared about my birthmark...then i just thought my legs were too big! (Funny how critical we are of ourselves 🙄).
Why am I sharing this story? Because now, I don’t even think twice about my birthmark. In fact, I really don’t even care about it. I have arrived at a place mentally that I didn’t think I’d ever get to. One of my family members had one just like it and I was told she didn’t care about it and when I was a kid I thought that was nuts and that I’d always try and hide it till I died! (Kids also have very extreme mindsets remember).
Here’s the thing, there will be things that you NEVER imagined you would do, think, or accomplish and then YOU WILL SURPRISE AND AMAZE YOURSELF.
You’ll find a way to get there, and you’ll get there without any problems.
This story always motivates me when it comes to finding peace and love within my own skin.
Do you have a story like this? I’d love to hear it💜.
PS if you’re looking to truly begin embracing all parts of you, contact me and let’s set up a breakthrough strategy session where I’ll help you address some of your biggest struggles and see what you need to help you breakthrough them!