I was inspired and anxious over what I saw on Instagram

Scrolling through Instagram I was inspired and anxious all at one time.
I saw all these women who seemed to have everything together. 
I mean, how could their life be any better?
--Amazing body
--Amazing clothing
--Amazing fitness
--Amazing sense of humor
--Amazing mindsets
--Amazing confidence
--Amazing home
--Amazing friends
--Amazing team
--Amazing accomplishments
--Amazing story
Everything looks AMAZING
-wow, how does she do that?
-omg, how does her body bend like that? I can't even touch my toes
-holy shit, is that her boyfriend?!
-whoa, those abs are amazing
-does she even have rolls when she sits down
-this girl is so awesome like how did she even make it through all that in her life, how incredible and she has created ALL of this
-so many followers
-so many women loving her message
-such a cool community
-in the media
-modeling
-videos
-can eat this or that and still have motivation to train hard
-can eat this or that without forcing herself to x,y,z
All of these were my perceptions
I painted this perfect picture of these womens' lives I saw on instagram. 
I mean, who knows what is ACTUALLY going on?!
And to find out months later from some of them the horrifying truths behind it all I mean WHAT!?
But I get it. 
It is easy to be inspired and anxious all at one time.
--I want that, but I am not like her. 
--I think I could do that, but also she is so different than me.
--I would love to wear that, but this and that is wrong with my body.
--She is just naturally skinny and I gain fat looking at chocolate.
I understand, 
I was there. 
That was me. 
Until I stepped out of my shell and recognized the inspiration would ALWAYS triumph over the fear of 'not' or 'never' or 'no'.
I saw a strong, fit, amazing woman and decided no matter what was 'really' happening, I knew life and fitness was a journey I wanted to live out fully. 
So, I started. 
I had lots of bumps in the road, which I can share another time.
My point is, 
The fear of not being the woman I wanted to become yet did NOT stop me from stepping into my true power of BECOMING her right then and there. Not tomorrow, or the next week, or next month, the next photo I saw.
I reached out to one of my favorite influencers in the fitness industry and I asked her to coach me, I asked my dad to gift it to me for my birthday and for christmas since I knew it would be an investment.
I started working as a volleyball coach so I could get a gym membership to actually perform her workouts. (she was my online coach, funny how things work out hey?)
When I looked past the highlight reel, I saw the true beauty of the inspiration which lies in the women who share their stories, progress, souls, and bodies with the world openly.
I no longer saw them as 'perfect beings' and I decided these were women who would be my friends and my support.
SO, I made that happen.
I go through struggles, and I always share them with you all when I make it through because I know it can be beneficial in your journey.
I have moments of sadness, doubt, fear, anxiety, depression.
The other day I got so triggered by a situation I started going back to old ways and dug my nails into my skin as my boyfriend sat behind me and I was wearing sleeves so he wouldn't know. 
It numbed me. 
I slipped into very old, very scary suicidal thoughts and NONE of it was actuuualllly me. I mean, I haven't felt like this in SO LONG because of how far I have truly come and all the things I have learned.
I had to realize that depression was never meee but it was the demons in my head. 
When I was triggered, it is like the true me is not as present and this weird alter ego comes out and is like, 'hey we are going to rip you apart over and over and over again and see if you can make it this time'.
I shared with my boyfriend the morbid thoughts I was having and opened up to the fact that no this is not what I ACTUALLY believe but this is what is coming up for me right now. 
 The best thing I did for myself? 
Go back to what I had to recognized when I made my biggest breakthrough with depression and anxiety, 
IT IS NOT ACTUALLY MEEEE!! IT IS NOT CELESTE. IT IS NOT MY IDENTITY.
I have done so much for myself to be able to work through any triggers or things which come up for me that when this happened it was very short lived (longer than usual but short lived).
The important thing was that I was able to recognize what was happening and snap myself out of it. That came down to my mindset, beliefs, and focus on who I REALLY am.
I share this with you so you know, 
while things look amazing
and things ARE truly AMAZING, 
it does not mean, we run into trouble sometimes. 
But that is the beauty of life. 
To know where you once were, and where you are now and know so much more growth lies ahead.
You don't have to be stuck
You don't have to watch behind a screen like I did while women inspired me.
You can choose right now, today, that you ARE the best version of yourself. And you can manifest this physically by making choices which are in true alignment with this big picture version of yourself.
You don't actually need to question yourself anymore. 
Trust me, I know it can be easier to question yourself or stay 'stuck' than it can be to move forward and choose growth.
I know because I have been there.
If you are looking for a sign, this is your sign.
I believe if you truly feel spoken to by this post, it is no coincidence. It truly is your time to shine and become the best version of yourself.
I am taking on 2 more VIP clients who will be working with me closely 1:1 diving deep into fitness, nutrition, health, and of course self-love, confidence, wellbeing, mindset, and behaviors.
The 1:1 coaching goes so much deeper than a plan and a 'here you go'
My message came from the deep roots of my experience in my journey and what is TRULY necessary to have an amazing, fulfilling, and soul fueling journey in creating the most amazing version of yourself daily based on you, the life you are living and desire to live, the places you're heading, the places you have been, the past, the present, and again, most important of all YOU.
More than surface level. 
More than fitness and nutrition and a good slap on the bum. 
Actually Building More than Just a Body, together.
Are you in?
All you have to do is fill out this form: (https://celestialfit.typeform.com/to/wVOKPr) and apply for your transformation. After I review it I will have a VERY good idea of what will be best for you when it comes to achieving your goals.
I am so excited to see you step into this most amazing, healthy, strong, and confident woman that you are.
I am even more excited to see you take all of this and run with it every day knowing how awesome and badass you truly are.
<3 
Xx,
Celeste Rains-Turk
Celeste Rains-Turk: Celestial_fit
www.celestial.fit