![]() What do you see when you look at old photos of yourself in a leaner body? I know for me I feel a mix of pride, competition, gratitude, & grief Pride comes from knowing all that I did to achieve the physique in the photo & how special the journey was Competition is sparked in me to want to beat that version of myself next time I do a competition or photoshoot or prep…just the urge to be better Gratitude to God for giving me the opportunity to utilize my body to pursue my dreams, push myself, and realize potential I didn’t ever think was possible to unlock. Gratitude for health, recovery, and the curves I have now 👀😆 . Grief comes in waves. Somewhat longing for the lean physique or feeling ripped or like the physical body represents the internal commitments and lifestyle choices. Sometimes in improvement season we feel like we are no longer as identifiable as super freaks who live a disciplined life as a competitor. But the grief, I say comes in waves, because there’s a lot I don’t miss about getting to that level of conditioning as well There’s a lot I have come to realize about myself through my competition journey One of the biggest things is the inevitability of impermanence Our body, mind, outlook, and experiences are ever evolving Thankfully so I love that when I reach a new limit it means I’m more prepared to push the next one I also love that I can always reflect on how far I’ve come and be reminded of my abilities to keep improving Impermanence is a beautiful thing about life. If everything attained was permanent then we wouldn’t be growing or striving or able to improve As dark as it may sound, life changes are constant reminders of our mortality This gives us the opportunity every day to foster a heart of peace and gratitude knowing that all we have really is happening right now While the human ability to know there could be a tomorrow allows us to fulfill the need to create and fulfill or actualize ourselves and our potential gives us insight to our own growth, it can also provide us with the ability to recognize what a gift every day truly is I’m curious, do you have similar experiences when looking back/at a different version of you?
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Celeste Rains-Turk
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