I did not expect my body to grow so much since my show in December.
I’ve been on point with my commitments to myself, my reverse was solid & continues to be, & I’ve been pretty much in a maintenance with food for weeks now because satiety is good & I’m eating well and my weight is still going up.
I’ve been doing progressive overload every week with the exception of getting sick, losing my mom, and traveling for it.
I am proud of how everything has gone for sure. Especially with the challenges I’ve faced.
But I will admit I had this idea that I’d maintain a leaner body for longer because I had no problem doing this through last years prep show co to the vid delays. I haven’t. And that’s okay!! My body needed and needs to recover & I’m improving in many ways.
Some days I absolutely love where I’m at and shake my booty and love the shape and curves & other days I’m like ugh I’m gaining too much & I just keep going up and I don’t get it.
But the bad body image days come and go and I have the tools to work through them. Doesn’t make them easy when they come up but it does make it easier to move through.
What helps me is remembering what I’m doing, why I am doing it, and the phase I’m in.
I accept that if I’m doing the best I can and honoring my commitments to myself then I can be proud of myself.
I’m starting to set other goals now too to tap into my competitive side and to give myself some more things to focus on and work towards.
This improvement season is about building a competitive physique. I have to build muscle to do better on stage.
I’m also focused on other things for my health like continuing to get my period, being on top of my supplementation, experimenting with different types of food & having more whole food meals, toning down my cardio & enjoying more time in the mountains or outside, releasing attachment to perfection, accepting that my journey & body is different than others, and continuing to face & overcome any mental barriers that could prevent me from being my best in the future.