Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
One of the many ugly cycles that can perpetuate disordered eating and negative self-affect
That 1 oreo that turns into 20 that turns into chips, hummus, candy, & might as well finish that last jar of PB because you “already screwed up anyways & will just eat less tomorrow”
Knowing there’s no way you can “make up for that”
You resort to restriction of food & increases in cardio thinking that’ll get you “back on track” especially now that you’ve thrown away the trigger foods
(by the way, is it really a food triggering you? Or the associations attached, events before, perception...I digress)
Despite past experiences you tell yourself you’re strong, you’ve done it before (remember in prep when nothing could stop you), & punish yourself, “you cannot have any of this until xyz” simultaneously perpetuating that food is a reward
Afternoon hits, you’ve had maybe 70g of protein by now, at max you’ve had 15g carbs from veggies, & you’re certainly not having fats because “too many calories & already ate in excess so can’t”
The body feels deprived, especially with the permanent feeling of restriction it has because of the underlying belief you have that you are a “failure”
So she does what she does best - tries to restore you encouraging you to get more nutrients & do it fast!
Your brain is also feeling under stimulated & the wavering commitment to the intention to “make up for it” is hanging by a thread because “you know you’re just going to ruin it again that’s what you always do just have it it’s fine you haven’t eaten much today...your show is so far away...your body fat Is already ‘too’ high anyways...”
Ravenous rage turns on & the 4th serving of protein n veg doesn’t cut it
Suddenly you’re at it again, rather than giving yourself the balanced nourishment your body is truly craving you turn to something more familiar & fast, “I’ll just have this 1”, “this will be less calories than if I have a cup of oats”, “I can have this I should be more balanced anyways”
Then it happens again, elbow deep with a head full of guilt because you acted out of alignment with your commitments again so now you are swearing to be better tomorrow - more restriction, more punishment, tighter reigns...
At some point you have to come to terms with the fact that maybe more restriction isn’t better, trusting yourself doesn’t come from less chances to, repeating the cycle is less about food & more about your self worth or beliefs in yourself, abilities, & goals
You deserve better for yourself
I’m an athlete who has been there & I’ve now devoted my life to helping others work through this while still achieving their physique goals
You can’t get the most out of your training & nutrition programming if you’re not willing to work on the executor, YOU
If this is something you’re dealing with I invite you to learn more about & apply for my food relationship healing & discovery coaching program at www.celestial.fit/foodfreedom now
Even if I can’t help you, I’ll support you in finding the help you need
A competitor motivated by pain might work their ass off to avoid showing up on stage looking the exact same as they did last time with no visible improvements according to feedback.
An athlete motivated by pleasure might work their ass off for the feeling they will have when they see their photos again and see something improved from the last show.
The pain pleasure principle suggests that in our efforts to create pleasure in our life we simultaneously are seeking to reduce or avoid pain entirely.
So even if the intense workouts, added body fat, uncomfortable surplus of food or longer cardio sessions, less food options, and more focus on a show might be painful at times, it is not as painful as the way it would feel to step on stage having not chosen to endure those things.
According to the principle, you’ll naturally gravitate toward pleasurable things.
This is often where instant gratification comes into play—seeking a quick hit of enjoyment even if it’s at the expense of a future feeling that’s far more satisfying or rewarding.
You may not think you actively avoid pain.
But despite the grit, all or nothing, 1%er, can’t get in my way, struggles don’t stop me messages high performers and athletes tend to promote and cling to there is a still a heightened awareness to the delayed result.
This is where focusing on what the process, the building, creating, forging, mapping, and execution day in and day out brings you becomes much more important.
Failing to connect the daily effort to your intrinsic values, standards, expectations and definitions of a fulfilling life will leave you feeling less than satisfied in the process and puts you at risk of minimal consistent effort that can be chosen and prioritized for a lifetime.
Are you truly capitalizing on your mindset to make the most of every season?
Create a champion mentality to last you for season after season.
Whether it’s your relationship with food, body image, or overall motivation/discipline, negative self talk, doubt or wavering commitment, let’s do something about it.
Click HERE to learn how we can work together.
BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY.
I was recently asked how do you truly honor your hunger when you're in a deficit or a prep, because you would think you're going against your hunger cues and fullness cues since you're in a deficit which really means you're likely not at homeostasis.
When 'dieting', you're not maintaining or in a surplus where you're usually more full. What I like to really reinforce with a lot of the girls that I work with is that you are safe.
That's, of course if, you know you're safe to be hungry.
Another thing to keep in mind is if you are hungry, notice the benefit of hunger. Maybe it's a deeper connection with your body.
Maybe it's a better understanding of those hunger and fullness cues altogether.
Maybe it is even recognizing what a strong communicator your body is.
It's also showing you "Hey, maybe the foods I'm eating or choosing aren't as nourishing as I thought or need them to be."
The last thing I'll share with you guys, and there's a lot of different directions we can take this, is psychological hunger.
Sometimes we get a macro drop or a calorie change and we instantly associate that with an increase in hunger when in reality it hasn't made a big difference, especially if you're working with a coach you trust or if you, yourself are creating a program that you feel good about.
You really should be able to see your plan and go, "You know what? I'm still nourished. I'm still taken care of and I'm eating to achieve these goals."
And psychologically, if those goals mean a lot to you then you can understand "Okay this hunger cue is likely going to pass and I'm going to be closer to my goal and this is temporary, it's impermanent."
The concept of impermanence is super important as well, but more than anything, consider if it's physiological or if it's psychological.
If you have this belief that "Oh well, my macros are lower than so-and-so's," or "Oh, my macros just got dropped this amount...I'm sooo hungry all of a sudden. I'm going to be super hungry."
You're going to be hungrier, it's just how it's going to be.
There's a lot of different tools and tactics people like to use to avoid hunger, extremely voluminous meals for example and, while I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing at times, I think if we develop a reliance on it we're putting ourselves in a rough spot
Eventually you're going to be coming out of that phase of prep or your diet and you're going to go into a surplus or more of a maintenance and you're going to be thinking you always have to eat a lot, you always have to eat in a surplus or you always have to eat a high volume meal to satiate yourself because you've created this story that 'it's not enough unless it is a high volume meal' or you leave stuffed.
So there's a lot of thought processes that can change with that constant reinforcement of needing volume or the macro change making you hungry.
Honor your hunger by maybe changing up the meal times that you have, maybe changing up how many meals you eat in a day in a prep, maybe even communicating that with your coach and determining if you're pushing too hard too fast.
And you might hear me say that and think "Well, I want to be successful, and if you want to be successful you can't do that"
But what about your longevity?
If you get so so hungry to the point where then you're ending up binging or you end up going off on your goals after the show or after the diet because it never really mattered to you in the first place, you're just trying to 'get through it and get to the stage', then you're not setting yourself up for a long-term success.
Communication is really key, not just with yourself but also with your coach.
One way you can honor your hunger is by recognizing it's there, changing up some of your meal times, meal sizes, things of that nature, and never creating a reliance on volume by reminding yourself:
"I'm taken care of. I'm well nourished. I trust the program I'm on. It's getting me to where I need to be. I'd never be put in a position where my health was compromised or my life was compromised."
Now there's obviously red flags you'll need to look out for and that's going to come down to doing some research, but those are some really great things to remind yourself of in this process because you will think those thoughts about "I should be hungry right now. I should be feeling this way" or "Oh, I'm going to be feeling this way."
That's going to impact how you actually feel.
Your thoughts will become the things that you experience so it's important to remind yourself you are nourished, you're satiated, you're taken care of but never to the point where you're truly putting your health at risk beyond repair or your longevity at risk.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. If you have any more questions like this or in regard to food relationships in general, I'd be happy to put together more videos for you on it.
I will recommend that you check out the food relationship program I have if you are struggling with this. I've developed it specifically for athletes, competitors, people who love fitness and don't want to give up their physique goals but also want to develop a healthier relationship with food because they know that's ultimately what's holding them back.
And of course we go beyond surface level. It's not just about the food and that's exactly what I'll do with you. If that's something you're interested in you can apply for it. I take the work that I do very seriously so you have to apply for it to make sure that I can absolutely help you.
I don't just say that because it is important. If I can't help you I will refer you out to someone else and if I can and you feel like it's a great fit and I do too then of course we'll work together.
You can find that information at celestial.fit/foodfreedom. I also have a free food series that you can find at celestial.fit/foodseries.
This journey through competing has certainly taught me a lot and each day I continue to learn & grow as an athlete.
2015 was my first show, then 2017 I competed again after taking time to work through my self-loathing & negative relationship with food & poor body image to prove to myself & others I could compete with a healthy mindset.
In 2018 I did a run of 5 shows that got me caught up in a chase, took time off to recover physically & mentally from that and build for my latest 2020 season which was a whole journey in itself.
I’m now more motivated than ever before to make improvements...it’s ever evolving as I learn & apply.
I believe that only by prioritizing the inner work and developing a healthy mindset, competitors can have a fulfilling journey.
I have seen that the mental side of this sport is key to establishing longevity in this sport, ending the yo-yoing from show to show, and establishing goals that span well beyond the stage.
I have learned from my own experiences and in helping other competitors that when you do the inner work, the physical results take care of themselves.
This sport is a long game, and the ones who win are the ones who do what’s necessary to KEEP PLAYING-maximizing opportunity & experience.
If you want to compete for a lifetime, you must establish something you’ll feel comfortable with committing to day after day.
While of course remaining open to new lessons, approaches, and feedback.
There will be challenges along the way that feel like setbacks and there will be moments you might feel lost or like you’ll never “get” what you’re after.
But when you have peace within yourself you can recognize that the “getting there” is inevitable if you show up each day ready to move forward.
It may not be the timeline others have had, you originally wanted, or even that you expect but it is always in perfect timing.
To truly embrace patience, you must first accept that you have no control over that timeline, only over your commitments, energy, dedication, and execution.
Be honest with yourself, act in integrity, & face what’s holding you back so you can improve & succeed.
Why rush when you can relish anyways?
BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY.
Results like this are typical for the clients who consciously commit to the work necessary day in and day out.
I am so proud of my clients and love seeing them conquer challenges they never thought they’d be able to get over.
You’re not doomed to a disordered relationship with food, negative body image, or loathing behavior patterns.
You can get through it and come out stronger.
This amazing client of mine was able to make peace after YEARS of struggling with it
She CHOSE to release it, committed to the necessary process, showed up every day, asked questions, applied herself, communicated, and made this a priority.
Learn more and apply now at: www.celestial.fit/foodfreedom
Me: WOW I love my shape SO much lately. Every day I appreciate my body more & feel so confident & proud.
The scale: you’ve gained more weight this week.
Me: wtf I’m doing everything I need to be, I’m following through, I’ve never pushed myself in an off season the way I am now, I’m killing it every day, I am focusing on areas of life and recovery and physique that need improvement, what the!!!?
Sane me: exactly. If you’re happy, proud, & feeling confident in your execution, the rest will take care of itself.
The scale: I didn’t know you were Killin it every day girl, I’m just here for data, not judgment.
Me n my body: *hugs*
I sometimes still find these old ways come up.
Where I doubt myself or go from feeling sexy & confident & proud to judging myself based on a change in weight.
But what I always do is reflect on what is TRUE—not what has been conditioned based on numbers or beliefs or old experiences.
I focus on the variables like water intake, starting back up creatine after not taking any for years, stress/sleep changes, higher food intake and lower cardio, body adapting to new demands of heavier weight every week, & so on.
I focus more on how I’m feeling & functioning than anything else.
I have better things to worry about than a number on the scale like my energy, peace of mind, ambitions, clients, biz projects, finals week, residency coming up, applying for internships...
My off season is going well because I’m doing well, I’m following through on my programming, I’ve never been more motivated to kill it with weights like evoke much deeper adaptation from my body, & my relationship with food is solid, my body image is better than ever every day, & I just feel proud.
So wtf the scale know about that?
Releasing attachment to numbers or weight means taking pride in the actions that created the result.
It’s knowing you’re moving in the right direction & doing what needs to be done even if the path looks different than you expected or brings up new challenges which is pretty much inevitable.
I have lots of body image resources in my On-Demand Mindset coaching platform for competitors. Learn more & join at www.celestial.fit/ondemand
If you struggle with sabotaging behaviors like distractions, falling off track, or never being able to stick to what you say you will, you may benefit from some of my own personal favorite tools!
I have found these to be beneficial in my own life as well as in the lives of some of my clients.
In all of my programs, I take a mindfulness-based approach in some capacity.
All of these suggestions are built with the underlying theme of sustainability.
Most people fail to achieve success because sabotage is just more convenient--in order to change this we have to essentially hack our own shortcomings.
Changing habits, behaviors, and natural tendencies to fail can be challenging so it is important to ease into the process.
I would choose a couple things from this list that resonate with you or that you feel would be helpful yet even slightly difficult to encourage some growth.
Let me know what you are going to try so I can support you in the process.
If you are looking for more mindset coaching tools and resources at your fingertips you can learn about my on demand platform at celestial.fit/ondemand built with specific resources and coaching guidance for common competitor mental health struggles and you can check out my best-selling self-help book 'Believe your way to Badass' on Amazon!
I’ve always thought saying “life is short” was strange considering it’s truly the longest thing we will all ever personally know.
I think what makes us feel life is scarce is that really beautiful moments seem to be over in a blink while challenging times sometimes feel like ages.
This is an evolutionary gift that keeps us safe in that we fixate on negativity and feel it at least 75% more intensely than positives in an effort to prepare ourselves to avoid the pain in the future or to evolve for future generations.
Accentuating the positives that are co-occurring with negatives is much harder than it looks because it’s practically against our nature to do so.
But if we can do our best to practice presence through gratitude, mindfulness, listening, and embracing what is as it is by honoring the depth and beauty of each moment—then we may feel as though time is slowing down and life is expanding.
I have come to find that all the best moments of my life, have been the ones I’m forced to be entirely present for, even when they are challenging.
I like to use my time on stage as an anchor to what presence feels like. It’s euphoric because you’re there but you are in such an elevated state, it’s arguably vulnerable to a degree.
I think it’s moments like this, that go by in the blink of an eye but also feel incredibly freeing, that take us out of rumination or action based around the inevitability of death and instead immerse us into what it means to truly be alive.
What do you think?
Part of my PTG process requires deep introspection.
While it can be a pain to take an x ray to Injury it’s necessary to see what’s really going on to then make sure the next best step is the most necessary and beneficial.
I’ll admit, sometimes it can feel like a guessing game. I work with my clients in the food relationship program intimately and because it’s a “short” program it’s intensive by nature.
In this process, there are bound to be ups and downs as we figure out what’s really going on, address it, tear it down, then start building again in trust, love, and safety
I value this process so much because it always leads to the desired (or beyond desired) outcomes.
Working with amazing women like Janet is so fulfilling because Of those moments when things start to “click” and it feels less and less like an uphill battle.
While there are plenty of opportunities to grow and improve, it is important to do so methodically and with intentional effort.
Had Janet not been open with herself, with me, or to the process she may not have uncovered her true needs.
By being willing to connect the dots with me, answer tough questions, look within, and consistently take action—she was able to change her reality.
It’s not always going to look how you expect it to because there’s usually things you aren’t present to yet.
But when you raise awareness, belief, trust, and attention to detail then you can capitalize on those breakthroughs with new habits, thoughts, beliefs, and behavior patterns.
Emotional eating is a common word thrown around and often not deeply considered for what it means.
We may be filling emotional voids, running from them, trying to control them, unsure how to address them, or even disconnected.
If you want to work through emotional eating, you must be willing to work through your emotions.
Thank you for celebrating Janet’s success with me! If you’re feeling inspired to start your journey to healing your relationship with food then visit www.celestial.fit/foodfreedom.
I take great pride and responsibility in the work I do with Confessions of a Bikini Pro podcast.
If you love the show, listen to it weekly or whenever you can, have shared it with others, or have been kind enough to message me about the impact it’s made or go out of your way to comment and tag athletes that means SO MUCH to me.
If you would be so kind to leave a rating and review on iTunes that would be amazing. Just visit: https://itunes.apple.com/.../confessions-of.../id1385048193 and scroll all the way to the bottom on your mobile device and hit 5 stars w a nice lil comment if you wish.
I can’t even believe we are almost to 500k unique downloads.
It makes me so happy to see the growth because to me this means more women, more bikini competitors, more female athletes, more professionals who have the light shined on them and their story.
To know that these women who may not have otherwise had a platform to reach more people can now all support, build, and grow this platform together is an absolutely beautiful thing.
What started as a scary idea that left me with fears and doubts and concerns has blossomed into something I celebrate every day as part of my life and something which requires me to grow, connect, and honestly push myself.
But I take great privilege in producing this podcast to release an episode every week even if it does require decent amount of work and investment of time, energy, effort, resources and money.
I consider it one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.
It has been a blessing that continues to surprise me every day.
Your support of the show goes a long way and it would mean so much to me if more of you left a rating and or a review so we can get this show out to even more people
Thank you soo much.
P.S. when I hit 500k unique downloads should I do a giveaway or celebration of some sort?
P.P.S are any of you curious about how I have been able to take this podcast from idea to where it is now? I have a podcast with purpose program where I work individually with creatives, entrepreneurs, and other passion driven individuals to make their voice heard with great intention, strategy, & of course PURPOSE. If you’re curious about that program, you can DM me for more info or visit: https://celeste-rainsturk.clickfunnels.com/podcastwithpur... and apply:)