This really got me upset, disgusted, and a little bit inspired but I'd like to get it off my chest:
While I was working a couple days ago, a woman came in with her young son. They have been in multiple times before and every time it goes much like this story.
She walks in and her child clearly resents her immediately for making him get on cardio with her. Everytime they do cardio it turns into an argument, often times even with yelling.
This time her son and she sit on the bike and the first thing she says is "Level 3" and she repeats this. The kid is pedaling away and a couple minutes pass and she asks, "is it on level 3?!" And he starts trying to hide the fact that it was not on level three. She starts angrily asking him to show her the level. He says "okay no it's on 2!!!" And she gets soooo upset. Here's the part that pisses me off the most:
When he tells her this she gets all worked up (like usual) and starts berating him saying these things:
"What are you a girl?!!"...
..."A baby girl???!"...
And the kid is just silent and doesn't say anything. I am not entirely sure if he bumped it up to 3 but I sure as hell know that in the past if he didn't listen she would go nuts and he would of course respond with anger and yelling also. Often times it was too hard for him or he was not motivated. How could he be?
How can someone be motivated if their parent or anyone who is supposed to be a supportive figure is constantly on their case and making them feel like they aren't good enough??
We are not successful as humans with this kind of treatment. We are much better off with support and motivation.
What kind of mother tells their son they are acting like a "baby girl".?? This only instills negative beliefs about the capabilities and actions of girls and it also makes the son feel like he isn't good enough because of these negative connotations. Comparisons are absolutely TERRIBLE! No one likes being compared to anything or anyone regardless of age, gender, race, or skill. We do not like being compared especially when we are trying to better OURSELVES.
These two always come in and act this way. I have only heard the mother say good job ONCE!! And her son was very very resentful about it.
This makes me very upset to see a mother child relationship like this. Even if her child needs a push and needs to work harder, using harsh words, and anti motivational tools, will not accomplish anything.
There are better, safer, And more fun ways for her child to get in shape and healthy and none of them involve him being berated and put down every time he attempts to get better even if it is at a different pace than she desires.
I will never speak to my child, or any child like that. Everyone deserves respect and children need to see the love and fun in getting healthy. The discipline can be developed without harsh words and bad attitudes from authority.
I developed discipline believing that I can do anything I want in life if I work my ass off to do it. My parents didn't make exceptions, they motivate and they support me 100% every day. Being disciplined never involved yelling or talks like these two have.
I know this was long but I needed to get this off my chest. Thank you.
If you have anything you need to get off your chest feel free to message me.
|Celeste Rains-Turk; Celestial_Fit International and Building More than Just a Body||