Trusting the Outcome & Committing to my Health

I remember taking the 2nd pic & LOVING the growth
I thought oh my gosh I can see the muscle I‘ve been working SO hard to build

That was Jan 2019
This one was today
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1.5 years later
148.7lb v 129ish pounds

January pic was 17 days after I got my period back naturally for the first time in YEARS yes YEARSSSS

Today’s pic, 5 days post cycle ending after a few months of her disappearance again
I’ve been so diligent

All off season from Sep 3 2018 to April 2019 I WENT TO WORK building

Eating in major surplus, lifting heavy, & I committed to internal health & external growth

I said bye to the shredded life (competed aug 2017-sep2018 in 5 shows) & hello to a life with more flexibility, no cardio, & as limited added stress as possible aside from lifting which was mostly heavy af on compound or major moves in areas I needed to grow (shoulders hams n glutes to be exact)

I put a lot more fat on

I had people admiring me for committing to what I knew I needed which was menstrual health

But it was grueling. Watching my body change so much was worth it to me that day I got my period back, though

I went through so much for that & to keep it

Fast forward to a few months ago my period stopped coming again

I thought because cardio was back up food was down & I was in prep mode & I dropped a lot of weight (I was 157ish at heaviest of improvement season)

BUT I kept going & trusted it would come & my coach & I just wanted to see if body needed to readapt

This was scary & frustrating bc we took such a slow approach

BUT IT ALL PAID OFF

Because I got it again at a lower body fat, in prep, & while under many other life “stressors”

I learned a lot in this, 1 thing being EMBRACE GROWTH ESPECIALLY FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR LONG TERM HEALTH & FUNCTION

Sure people will say oh you don’t need to put on that much fat, & they’re probably right

But I also did it methodically, withintention, & didn’t just stop training I went to the gym with my current physique in mind

I let go of the need for aesthetics in an effort to one day have both aesthetics & function & better metabolism

Bodybuilders talk a lot about patience & delayed gratification but in all honesty, many women aren’t truly willing to apply that to every area of growth as an athlete & person

It’s easy to say that when cutting or going show to show

But lemme see how you’re working & committing to the version of you that's gunna be on stage 1-5 years from now

Running yourself to the ground for years is not growth or delayed gratification—it’s almost a bit of denial

I’m glad I went through all these different phases because now I’m in a way better spot than ever

More muscle, better metabolism, better functioning menstrual cycle, better mindset, lots more patience, & way more respect for the process

Just like you go all in to cut & get ready, go all in for your health, mindset, & physique development

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