[Vulnerably emotional share]
"No thought, just feel"
Closing my eyes again I reconnected to my heart and discovered pain which I had repressed for so long and convinced myself it was 'not my pain to feel' despite its immense affect on my life, my beliefs, my choices, and my overall well-being.
I have always known I was afraid of being alone, loneliness, or loss of connection. I knew I had a lot to work through; there was healing to be done.
I always keep things real here and I want you to know, despite the way I show up online, I actually don't have a ton of close friends. And I haven't felt very 'connected' to people in person in a very long time aside from my boyfriend.
There are not a lot of people I can call out of the blue and open up fully to, or at least I haven't allowed myself too (I am going to get into this). My boyfriend is my closest friend of all but I don't really have more then 2 close girl friends who I feel I can really turn to.
This has been hurting my heart lately as I have felt so reliant on myself and I felt so distant from others, even family.
While I recognized this and came to many of my own conclusions I never opened up to the depth of which this pain and this problem stemmed from...
"I sense you still have some depression"
"Do you often get a sore throat or a cough?"
"I am getting sadness and grief around your heart..."
"...Does any of this resonate with you?"
Me: I don't feel that depressed anymore but when I do it is triggered by the potential of losing someone or something or me wanting to run from a confrontation that could cause this in fear of it happening. I don't normally get a sore throat or cough, no. Sadness and grief in my heart, I am not sure.
I knew what was happening. He was tapping into the energies with my chakras.
Then, we went deep.
Shit got real, real fast.
Heartache was uncovered.
Attachment was released.
And 3 beliefs were woven into me from all of the breakthroughs and deep discussion through the healing process:
1. It is safe to trust
2. It is safe to love
3. It is safe to forgive
I am still sitting with all of this but I feel so much more open and light after this healing session.
I realize that cutting the ties between these 2 significant people's energies to forgive them is going to allow me to be more open in life to receive.
Wow? Sound familiar, Celeste? Just yesterday I did a video on "What do you need to release in order to receive what you truly desire?"
Apparently, I too needed to do a lot of releasing, we all do though.
I had to release energy that was not serving me and which I had pent up in what I have always been told to be my strongest chakra--my heart. I couldn't hold that there if I wanted to show up as my highest self...
I feel more open to:
--New friendships (deep ones)
--Loving new people in my life deeply and strongly without the fear of losing them or going through all the fallouts I used to have.
--Forgiving more freely and openly with loads of acceptance and true objectivity.
The past month the word "healing" has been coming up a lot for me. Then all these different types of healings have showed up for me, of course.
Today I was grateful to be guided through a Theta Healing Session with Mike Marschhausen. I appreciated his willingness to go all in with me and to create a space for me in which I felt open, comfortable, and confident in sharing deeply so I could heal.
While I am still getting my bearings after the session, I can say I feel there was a necessary shift which occurred for me, which I cannot deny or neglect.
I highly recommend you reach out to Mike and ask him about his Theta Healing. In all honesty, I didn't even know what it was, I just did it. And, I don't think I could even explain it now if I tried! All I can say is massive energetic healing.
Any action towards bettering yourself, your life, your body, your health, and your relationships is an act of self-love.
Every day I have the blessing and privilige of helping others live a life rooted more deeply in self-love while truly freeing themselves from self-loathe.
To care for yourself, to allow yourself to heal, to truly understand and listen to yourself, that is self-love.
When we look at the world we can all have very different perspectives. I respect them all. I find that perspective is highly based on your beliefs, your mindset, and the energy and love in your own heart and soul.
I truly believe that the more love we have for ourselves then the more love we can radiate out into the world and thus, the more love we can receive.
Any amount of outwardly, worldy, universal 'peace' must first come from inner peace.
I invite you to join me on my Self-Love Creation and Self-Loathe Liberation workshop.
All the information is on the page which I am linking in the comments below; you can register there too!
10% of every registration will be donated to YMCA-Miller Family and Big Brothers Big Sisters of Ventura County
I can't wait to see you there...
P.S. If you felt touched by the story I shared and feel like you could really use some in depth healing around this I again encourage you to reach out to Mike Marschhausen he specializes in Theta Healing and does it full time. If you need me to connect you to him I can or just message him on your own :)
Celeste Rains-Turk: Celestial_fit