Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
Why I stopped taking birth control. My Hormone and Period Update...
Sooo If you’ve been following my journey for a bit you would know I’ve been without a natural period for two years.
I went on progesterone a year ago on a 10 day prescribed cycle & it gave it back to me until I started prepping again & poof it was gone.
Then I dedicated all of 2017-2018 to prepping. I took only approx 21 weeks ‘off season’ total. The numbers are on another post to be exact.
Anyways, cut to a few months ago I got blood tests and found out I was in menopausal levels of estrogen
Long story short since I’ve already explained this on videos and posts (I am happy to send you the other posts if you dm me)
Under the pressure of docs and my deep desire to compete again sooner rather than later I went on Tri lo Sprintec after some natural remedies didn’t get me what I needed
I hated that I was going to take a pill but it seemed like the best and only option for me, I was so scared
I went through a full cycle experiencing side effects within the first 3 days.
I had horrible headaches, began to get bad bacne, and I felt totally out of my usual creative self
After about 1.5 weeks I began feeling my already existing depression and anxiety get even worse
By the 3 week mark (the last cycle of hormones before the sugar pills and the time when you get your first SYNTHETIC period)
I was experiencing suicidal ideations beyond what I have had since high school.
I hadn’t felt so much like killing myself since then.
I open up to share this because everyone’s experience is different and mine began taking my mental health.
One morning I went to the park in hopes that doing my journaling and having breakfast there after implementing fasted cardio every morning for mental purposes would help me
There I found myself literally being consumed by thoughts of hurting myself badly. I don’t know if I even should share the gory details here.
My anxiety is comorbid with my depression.
Essentially when I get depressed I get SUPER anxious because I don’t have any trust in my brain and think I’ll kill myself without truly wanting to.
Like some demon is in my head controlling me like a puppet
I’m at a point where I have learned to address and move through many of these thoughts so I knew something was off
I knew the hormones were causing this but I thought I was strong enough to work through it!
That morning I realized I AM STRONG ENOUGH but I don’t deserve to deal with that every day of my life
My life is meant to be lived at my highest capacity of soul and self. This pill was taking that from me.
I wouldn’t give up a piece of my mental health for a portion of physical health that I know I can get through another way
I’m at a bit of a loss in complete honesty. Getting my body to love my lifestyle and mindset as much as me has been tough
I love rigorous exercise or constant movement. I work non stop whether its business or schoolwork I don’t stop.
I put my body through a lot of chosen stress and while I thrive off of it as a person my body is in need of TLC
Sooo, back to square one. One step at a time.
Supplementing properly, eating whole and nutritiously (per usual but even more so), and realigning my true goals.
I am not unhappy with my body. I love her for being such a powerful communicator to me.
But man, I’d be lying if I said this has been easy.
Right now I’m reading through the period repair manual and doing extra research based on my blood tests.
I’m confident in my ability to get through this and I’m not going to stress about it because that’s the LAST thing I need (likely the cause of all this)
Thank you to my closest friends for being here for me.
You guys know who you are and whether you know it or not, the snapchats, hangouts, workouts, or pre made plans helped keep me going
I am grateful to have a business with incredible clients and a big vision to wake up for.
I am grateful to have people like all of you who care and I can share with and inspire
I am grateful to have these struggles as I embrace new journeys I am meant to go through in life.
And if you’ve read this far, you the real MVP
These will be the times I’ll look back on to speak about, write about, or support others with.
THESE ARE PARTS OF MY STORY THAT WILL ADD MORE DEPTH TO MY MISSIONS. (whether I like it or not)
I will continue to expand on my story as it comes and progresses! I am hopeful :)