Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Overcome an Eating Disorder
Cope with Anxiety
End a Toxic Relationship
Live After Trauma
Pull Through Financial Hardship
Make a Better Life for Your Family
Build New Skills
Make a Difference
Find Comfort in Silence
Pursue Your Passion
Have Peace of Mind
It’s all possible for you if you can believe you are worthy, deserving, and capable.
You are not in this alone, there are tons of resources, and it is okay to use them! You’re no stronger if you don’t and no weaker If you do.
If you are facing challenges now, please know you are worthy of resolving them. The price you’re paying to live in suffering is far greater than the price you’ll pay to resolve it.
Your life is meaningful, valuable, and precious.
If you’re looking for support in any way I’m happy to be here for you, send resources your way, or connect you to possible support.
In studying psychology and clinical mental health counseling, I consider it part of my “job” to support others in their journey to mental peace.
Today I was thinking about how in competing what can be your best in one moment can be the exact look you’re trying to beat in the next moment.
I love that we can be happily achieving, land at our best, and still feel compelled to say “I am now prepared to do more and be better”.
Bodybuilding seems to halt the celebration of “arriving” for the satisfaction that comes from striving.
I appreciate that about this sport.
You can be happy, proud, and content while still knowing you’re ultimately going to be demanding more, capable of more, and hungry for more.
Do you experience this too?
Sometimes personal development looks like getting out in nature, jumping on a zip line, and immersing into the present moment.
It’s difficult for me to open up about what I’m about to share because I consider myself a representation of the power of mindset work, daily routines, journaling, intentional self-care etc...
I haven’t been able to really journal since February. It’s been hard for me because it feels like my view of the world has completely shifted since losing my mom.
I haven’t mustered much strength to journal and when I tried to I felt I had to use it to process what myself and my family have been through but I couldn’t even really finish that.
In leaving for South Carolina I packed a new journal in hopes of picking it up each morning along with my commitment of tons of hiking and sleep.
I never journaled in it.
I want to, but it’s been difficult for me to focus on what I’m grateful for, what I’m working towards accomplishing, intention settings, and belief statements when my mind has this new heaviness that wasn’t previously clouding my existence.
I felt like life was so good, then one night changes everything and all sorts of new experiences become prioritized.
I’d say grieving, healing, being with family, dealing with life things, and putting all my energy into clients and business has been my priority.
I used to jump up to the sound of my alarm but lately it has been more wanting to lay and do nothing only to then get straight to work with clients and biz because that is the next necessary step in my day.
In the past when I needed a break from journaling it was more so because it felt like an obligation. Now it just feels like a huge brick wall is between me and writing a statement.
I know sharing this may change my behavior but what I am really trying to depict here is that personal development doesn’t always look perfect and pretty because life doesn’t.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is the only thing you can do; breathe, cry, sleep, talk to a friend, tend to a crisis, walk, lift, nourish your body...zip line, hike, laugh, speak loving, affirming, goal oriented statements.
You’re not a failure (I’m not a failure) for not picking up a journal & doing my empowering routine. It’s okay to do other things that fuel your growth or needs in the time & space you’re in.
I think it’s easy to give myself grace when I broaden my perspective and remind myself that the inner work is often times difficult or heavy and so much has been heavy and difficult that being present to my emotions & being willing to feel them, talk about them, and understand them is a HUGE undertaking that I can be proud of because what I’m going through is non-normative, unpredictable, and the best way for me to deal with it is by facing everything head on & doing things that make me FEEL alive and joyful or connected.
Be considerate of what you’re going through & honor that the most important thing is that you’re moving forward in the best way you can & your continuous efforts to expand will eventually unfold with appropriate timing but if forced it will only end up being a disservice.
I can celebrate my commitment to embracing and enjoying this experience with my family and the huge smile that being present allowed me to have.
It’s easy to compare ourselves to other people but the fallacy in this is that there’s always going to be someone with some attribute or experience you can compare your own too.
It’s not possible to completely stop caring what others think, it’s not even healthy since we are a species of community so acceptance & support of others aids survival, but the fixation on others opinion or beliefs about you can be detrimental to your progress.
Comparison tends to lead to extreme measures such as giving up or placing pressure on oneself that is not justifiable or realistic & can lead to unsustainable or unenjoyable behavior.
In doing so, the self-fulfilling prophecy ensues by which you end up proving to yourself you’re not “as good as” them or that person because you “couldnt” do it, when in reality, you just didn’t take the steps you needed to take based on where you’re at to accomplish the feats you set out to.
Comparison can be healthy in many ways as it might give you clues into better ways of living or new perspectives or even a direct contrast between where you are & where you want to be.
Of course, comparison isn’t meant to be about becoming someone else.
It can be utilized to your benefit though, if you seek out the themes & clues that you’re drawn to from another persons lifestyle or affect.
Maybe they appear to be stronger or more easy going than you. This doesn’t mean you emulate their behavior through mimicry.
Rather, you can ask yourself what keeps you from going with the flow? What ways are you holding yourself back in the gym? How do they approach their training opposed to how you have been?
Copying someone never leads to long term success because acting would be exhausting & you could lose yourself in the process.
It’s much better to introspect through self-awareness and evaluation so you can capitalize on your unique strengths, traits, and experiences!
Some journal prompts that may help you move through comparison:
1. What has led me to believe this person is more ideal than me?
2. What may have contributed to where they are? What may have or may be contributing to where I am?
3. What do I need to change today to grow at a compounding rate?
In an effort to #buildmorethanjustabody we have to be willing to go deeper than surface level & broaden our view on a problem.
It’s not usually about food. It can often be about identity, beliefs, life stressors, success indicators, goals, past experiences, conditioning, environment...so much can be at play.
Rachel dove head first with me day in and day out from the start!
Her trust in me as well as her willingness to explore difficult, uncomfortable, or even turbulent areas of her life and behavior ultimately allowed her to find herself outside of bodybuilding, find comfort and peace around all foods, trust herself more as an athlete to uphold her standards and commitments while wearing the many hats of her life.
I am so inspired by the women I get to work with and how much they are willing to immerse in an effort to emerge with a new outlook.
I often have competitors come to me who feel like things can’t really get worse, or they certainly don’t want them to.
This vulnerable and raw headspace ultimately can be the catalyst to so much change
Since growth is often uncomfortable, we have to have an intense desire to rewrite our reality.
I am so grateful for the clients I get to work with and am so happy to be celebrating Rachel’s success today!
Hope it inspires you to take action on your journey even if your plate is full, you deserve to prioritize your mind so you can show up feeling more empowered than ever.
To learn more about this program and apply to work with me you can visit: www.celestial.fit/foodfreedom
Letting go of control is safer than trying to control everything.
Freedom allows us to see what we need while restriction inhibits us from trusting ourselves.
When you say no to a social outing in fear of people judging you for your choices or binging on food the rest of the night because you ‘already messed up’ then what you’re really saying is you don’t trust yourself enough, food controls your life, & even though you want to spend time with people it’s too risky for you.
When you go to a restaurant & order what you don’t really want in fear of overeating what you do want because you ‘never get it’ but then end up feeling like they put ‘too much’ oil on it so screw it have the desserts & snack more later, you’re really saying I don’t think I can stop when I’m satiated & if I’m going to go out to eat it either has to be perfect or worth it.
When you turn down a bite of cake because you’re afraid it’ll be hard to stop yourself once you start because you’re ‘just so all or nothing’ what you’re really telling yourself is you can’t savor an experience even if you want to because you always end up ruining it later by how you feel.
When you turn down food all day & starve your body because you ‘don’t want to get fat’ or ‘ate too much yesterday & need to ‘restrict today’ you’re sending the message to your body that you don’t always deserve to eat or be nourished or have energy.
Whether it’s a piece of cake, the jar of peanut butter, or a bowl of roasted veggies...whatever you find yourself triggered by will always have control over you if you let it.
Release the control, have a plan for how you will create a new association between you & the trigger food or situation, write your intentions down, & be willing to “slip up” to learn.
Experimentation will give you opportunities to learn while forced control with mistrust will keep you subscribed to the norm of being trapped without trust in yourself.
It’s not about giving up your goals...it’s about freeing yourself of the constraining thoughts that remove the empowerment of choice.
I created an in depth free food relationship program to support you further.
Learn more & sign up at www.celestial.fit/foodseries
Researchers have found a correlation between distorted body image & psycho-somatic health decline.
This means that the more you pick your body apart, finding reasons to be unhappy in your skin, the more at risk you are for depression, anxiety, social anxiety, sleep wake disorders, psychosis, eating disorders and more...(Harsejian, 2014).
When I read this I thought, “duh” due to the strong correlation between low self esteem & psychological problems.
But when I considered these results & results of studies referenced further I began to think about how this applies in the fitness industry.
It’s suggested that exercise can support the changing of a person’s self esteem because they gain more ability & their body changes so naturally they ‘become more happy & proud’.
But I find this odd because if a person focuses “too much” on their appearance or their size & shape they may fall into these disordered thoughts & behaviors anyways (intention matters!)
Many people in the fitness Industry get so much out of their workouts & claim it has led to so many #mentalgains but how much of this is really just a distraction from or cause of underlying negative appearance orientation or psychological distress?
While I’d like to believe that exercise & whole food is the solution, it isn’t. I’ve come to find that many of our most “fit” people are struggling with something of deeper importance that a solid workout can’t solve.
Without denying the proven benefits of working out & taking care of your body, I am just here to remind you to also invest in taking care of your mental health.
It’s not healthy to fixate on your body and food or get anxious over social events & being seen by others, or punishing yourself through the use of cardio or food purging, or resort to plan after plan after plan to find peace...
The prerequisite to benefiting from a routine & regimen, I believe, really lies in how you are priming & supporting your mental state.
All too easily, your focus & attention can shift & swing to unhealthy extremes, especially when posed with a challenge around how you look, feel, function, or are perceived based on your identity.
Make sure to #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY
I fell victim to the cheat day mentality when I first started my fitness journey. I thought it was healthy and normal to eat “clean” all week then eat as much “bad”/“off limits” food as possible one day of the week (only the weekend of course!!)
I demonized foods and restaurants and experiences in an effort to maintain an ego driven standard of perfection 6/7 days of the week.
I thought that’s what “everyone who is fit and successful does” until I realized how much pain it was causing me.
Physically I would be uncomfortably full and even have bruise like pains all over my body, emotionally I’d feel like I could never get timing right for social events or family time because it could only be on x day, and mentally I’d restrict myself from anything all week only to find myself fixating on it to the point where it was stealing my focus and energy from other important things.
We need to stop the cheat day mentality and choose an every day mentality.
My every day mentality I commit to is that I can have anything and everything I want in any quantity every day as long as I’m listening to, honoring, and loving my body as well as my goals.
This is in short form as there are other commitment statements and identity shifts I made to truly find my happy as a competitive athlete in bodybuilding.
I am so passionate about helping other athletes tune up their mindset and resolve their relationship with food because I want to see more athletes feeling amazing, free, fulfilled and empowered rather than trapped or out of control when not perfect.
I hope these 3 tips and a bit of my story support you in releasing the cheat day mentality and embracing that every day can and needs to be consistent for lasting results and longevity.
I made a free food relationship coaching series with tons of psychoeducation, resources, and direct support from me on eating (and much of what happens as a competitor) you can enroll in the free coaching series at www.celestial.fit/foodseries
Happy to be back in South Carolina with my family.
Planned this trip with my mom back in January which we had been looking forward to so much.
This morning It hit me as a holiday without my mom is truly not the same. I miss her so so much.
I feel so grateful to know I still have our family though.
I am blessed with my amazing dad and sister and couldn’t be luckier.
I love being here with them and so glad Robbie joined us!
We landed on Friday and had a fun time with Grace and Cory out near their town and then woke up bright and early for zip lining yesterday and then today had a hike where we got lost and then went to Easter brunch.
Fun stuff so far!
I hope you all have a beautiful Sunday.
I refuse to hide a body that works for me from the world.
Sometimes it can be hard for me to see the lines disappearing or new layers on top of the muscle definition that once was so visible.
I often have to remind myself there’s a reason for where I am, there’s a goal I’m going after, & if I’m healthy then I can be grateful.
I’ve had people say I look stronger, bigger, meatier, filled out, healthier and I always say thank you, I feel so good about where I’m at!
Because I don’t want to feed the narrative that our body must look a certain way all the time.
Life presents many opportunities for metamorphosis and to withhold change is to suffocate growth.
The other day a man said to me, most women wouldn’t thank me for saying they look fuller and I said and that’s a problem!
I absolutely do not condone celebration of unhealthy or destructive behaviors that lead to the downfall of ones health, esteem, or abilities but I do believe in embracing the seasons as they each serve their purpose.
Whether it’s a season of stress or grief or celebration or focus or learning or all of the above and more, it’s all necessary and it helps us to understand our own needs and responses more.
If you find yourself struggling with your body image whether that’s in a growth season or a cutting phase, focus on your efforts, sustainability, purpose, and function!
Celebrate your body by being proud of her, making her comfortable, and reinforcing conversations you want to have about her!
For me, this is a season of calculate work, just as prep is.
Sure it looks different & brings different expectations, but it still represents a part of me that’s important for longevity & success in the sport.
I find that accepting the impermanence breeds detachment from the shape and fosters focus on execution & growth.
Struggling post-show? Check out my free post show blues coaching series!