Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
When you’re feeling MEH about the way your body looks, ask yourself these 2 questions
The first one will help you focus on function over form
The second one will help you reconnect to the importance of living in a way that supports you in having a body that functions optimally
Through nourishing, self-loving action steps we can change our body
Ever notice how the more you pick yourself apart the more of a downward spiral you fall into?
It’s like an evil trap that screams “I hate how I am & want to change but because I hate how I am I do not have the motive or desire to enact that change!”
So you self-sabotage or just wallow in shame and dread for the next time you have to look at your body and sometimes even face the truth that you may not be doing everything you can for her
Also important to note that when you are taking loving & positive actions for your body you’ll be more likely to appreciate and adore her because you are in a higher energy state & feel more autonomous with yourself
Another reason these two questions are some of my go tos?
Your body may not be supporting the way you live or want to live so you may need to change your habits or get help like see a doctor or fix your hormones to help support your body in supporting you
& if you’ve read this far I’ll give you some follow up questions to ponder on
Comment an emoji below when you’ve read them 😉
Is the lifestyle that comes with the body I’m longing for something I am interested in, capable of, or ready to commit to?
Are there other actions I need to take to prepare myself first?
If I committed in the mental space I am in now would I even be able to sustain it? (ie if you have a bad relationship with food you likely wouldn’t sustain an even stricter diet)
Who do I have to become in order to love and embrace my body while also LOVING and EMBRACING my body? (What beliefs, habits, behaviors, etc. would be required if you?)
Hope this helps you as much as it has helped myself and my clients
Need more support?
I’ll help you make peace with food, your body, and your goals with my 1:1 breakthrough mindset coaching
Contact Me to inquire now!
BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY
You’re not beautiful because of your body, but your body is beautiful because of you
Our bodies are responsible for carrying us around this life to give all of us unique individusouls a human experience?! How amazing is that?
How awesome to know that we can influence & change our body with thoughts, behaviors, & habits?!
The fact that our body has built in self-care signals to say when its time to eat, rest, move, express, literally everything we experience our body gives us the ability to crave more of it, protect ourselves from similar negative experiences, or even give opportunities to transcend the person we thought we were at any given moment is really quite amazing
We have brains going with us everywhere which we can literally tap into & change or can change alone based on experiences In the matter of a moment & impact the rest of our life
Yet we still always have the power to recreate ourselves or our life
WE ARE LITERALLY MAGIC
For the last 6+ years I’ve known that my mission is to increase the level of self-love on this planet
It deeply saddens me to see so many people walking around self-loathing & even creating realities for themselves that are not ideal at all just because on some level they don’t feel worthy, deserving, or capable of MORE
Perspective shifting, knowledge, practice, & a desire are what we each need to continuously grow & enact change in ourselves & as a byproduct, our lives
The days I obsess over how my body look are few & far between because I’m far more focused & committed to seeing & celebrating the unbelievableness that each of us are
It’s taken me time to heal my relationship with my body & it is of course a DAILY commitment
I’ve made conscious choices to shift my thought patterns & create new neural pathways that no longer say “body=not good enough” but now say “body=scarily undefinably more than enough”
I’ve shifted from being hyper focused on the look to being hyper aware of how I feel & the person I am becoming as I shape shift
Of all the ways I’ve freed myself from the wild capacities of my own mind, unconditionally loving my body is 1 of my most cherished ❤️💆🏻♀️
BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY
Some people look at themselves in the mirror and see what’s really there
Some of those people are judgmental of what they see and some aren’t
Some people look in the mirror and don’t see reality, but rather a contorted image of themselves
People with body dysmorphia tend to hone in and focus on “flaws” or things that draw their attention and make them out to be way bigger than they really are
For example, some people become so obsessive about how a facial feature looks that they get super self conscious about it, want to change it, feel like everyone is staring at it, or like it’s the first thing people see—this happens a lot with blemishes but can also be seen in people who continue to get surgery without ever finding happiness with that structure
Similarly, people who express body image issues tend to see their body way differently than it is OR obsess on one specific area (let’s take the stomach for example)
They might constantly stare at it, pinch it, think it is huge, check it in the mirror, pull at their clothing, cover it up, deny compliments of any change, and become so concerned with its appearance to others
But how and why is this happening?
While earning my degree in Psychology I learned about perception, which really is everything
Perception is how we take in stimuli, process it, and then do something with it like form a belief or make a statement or take an action
It’s influenced by the sensory input like something smelling a certain way and then experiences, knowledge, thought patterns, environment, conditioning, culture, memory, witnessing others experiences; basically all the ways we experience the world around us so maybe that smell is actually very nostalgic to you but to someone else REEKS of an ex
So the reason some people judge their body differently than others can come from their conditioning or worldview which is not just a product of their own choosing but people, ads, culture, & the things I previously listed all around them weaving into the subconscious & of course past experiences like being called fat by peers at a young age & associating this with being bad, ugly, & undesirable then carrying that with you for life (UNTIL YOU ADDRESS IT OF COURSE—because you can change these things)
But it’s also sometimes genetic, or even because of the way someone brains functions differently than someone else’s
Some studies have shown that people with BDD that leads to disordered eating have different activation in their neural networks & some even show inhibited spatial organization or body orientation
I hope that this provides some perspective and hope for you if you’re struggling to know that even if it feels like something is “wrong with” you or you are exhibiting some of these unhealthy behaviors that you’re only just recently becoming aware of, the good news is YOU CAN CHANGE❤️🧠💆🏻♀️
What if I told you that letting go of control is what will bring you the freedom and peace of mind you’re really looking for?
What if control became associated with conscious decision making rather than consistent restraint?
What if you chose even for a moment to release all the definitions, actions, & thoughts associated with controlling your body, your food, your life...what would be different?
What if the thought of giving up control didn’t make you feel anxious but empowered you instead?
What if you challenged everything you’ve been taught to believe about health, weight, your body, size, shape, food, eating...?
What if when you stand in front of a mirror the reflection you see is actually reality & you realize you’re allowed to love the way you look now?
What if you felt everything in your life so deeply and chose to heal it without stigma, that there was never a need to turn to external sources like food or exercise or restriction to feel in control of your life?
What if you just decided right now to release the rules, expectations, & fears of judgment so you could feel truly free? ❤️
Really, what’s the worst that could happen?
If you’re struggling now, trying the same thing over and over to feel a sense of control, beauty, fulfillment, validation, happiness, or you name it... what harm can really come from committing to a new way of thinking?
What if you changed your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and habits despite the pain, pushback, doubts, fear, and chaos that it can evoke within you and it actually changed the entire course of the rest of your life?
You are SO deserving of more love my friends, give yourself permission to give to yourself and receive it from yourself
Want actionable mindset tools that you can use on prep or in your improvement season to immediately shift your emotional & mental state?
Join my On Demand Mindset Coaching Platform now to get access to exercises, tools, & mentorship at your fingertips on topics including;
Learn about how it works & Enroll now by clicking HERE💜🧠
If you created your current reality, you can create a new one
Your normal might consist of being unhappy, sad, ashamed, full of guilt, empty, hurt, angry, or numb
Your normal might be full of unsurprising events with some sort of lusting for a life that “could be but likely never will be”
Your normal might feel uneasy, unpredictable, scary
But it doesn’t always have to be this way and the only way it wouldn’t change is if you don’t
Your next normal could be entirely different from your current narrative
Change the way you think
When you change the way your brain is wired, you’re inevitably going to be changing your actions, when you change your actions your results change and when your results change so does your experience of life
It’s no longer feeling like something so far out of reach but now like something you can always take hold of and steer any which way you desire
I don’t just say this as a psychology and personal development nerd
Despite literature of more reliable case studies, eons of anecdotal evidence, and the mere fact that our brain is literally the epicenter of our functions...
I’ve also witnessed it first hand
I haven’t been deeply depressed or suicidal (something I never thought I’d be able to rid myself of) in years
Because of this my anxiety has also decreased massively as I’m no longer fearful of myself or my thoughts
While I’ve always been a VERY optimistic person (sometimes too much for my own good they say)
My life has dramatically improved since making myself a priority
I always had goals and dreams and chased them relentlessly whether it was athletics or school or career
(Fun fact I even started my first business at 9 years old and carried on with the thought of pursuing that profession until junior year of high school! Can you guess what that was?)
But the difference is now I feel like ME and I love this me because she is such a pure light form of who I’ve always known I could be
When I would get depressed it scared me so much because I knew it “wasn’t me” I can remember being so enamored by the thought of death and yet feeling like I was just trapped in my own sad chemical ridden brain, I’d always give people support for their concern of me by saying “but it’s not me don’t worry it just comes over me, idk what it is”
Even though it wasn’t my fault that this would happen, I had a LOT of responsibility to take
And if I stopped EVERY positive thing I do for my mind now, I know it wouldn’t be long until I regressed to a dark and scary version of me
Want to know some of the things that made the biggest difference for me?
Here’s 10 just to scratch the surface:
Happiness can be tapped into the same way sadness can. This doesn’t mean you never experience any other emotions, it just means your baseline is more content, at peace, happy :)
Imagine what will happen when you start chasing the idea of “being happy” and instead choose to simply become happiness
One of the best parts about improving is that no one can do it for you
Not a coach, therapist, mentor, friend, partner, stranger, not even a crystal ball, card deck, or the moon
You’re going to have to commit to it for yourself, because others can only take you so far!
Whether you’re going to school, working on physique goals, trying to heal yourself internally, making your mindset work for you, improving your relationship with food, changing how you see & talk to yourself, making a relationship better, creating relationships, being comfortable with yourself...
WHATEVER THE GROWTH YOU’RE SEEKING IS; it isn’t going to happen on its own
& again, that’s the best part
You have to implement the help you receive, coaching or mentorship you invest in, events you go to, books you read, journaling or meditation, ALL of it is up to you
AND it’s amazing how just going through the motions isn’t even enough, you have to really frikkin do the work
Growth is in essence the stretching or expansion of yourself in some way shape or form
So it’s not meant to feel “normal” because then it’s probably just maintenance work, not real developmental work
I‘m grateful for the clients I have who see the benefit to implementing the work we do that they invested in
I have so many success stories because I‘m lucky enough to attract clients who aren’t afraid to put the work in
Makes sense since many of them are competitors, moms, military, students, biz owners...ok yep they’re all badass
But the deal is, The clients of mine who genuinely execute(d) between 80-100% of the work we do, I give them, we agree on, or I set them up with in a program, succeed at what appears to others to be mind boggling levels in record time (I don’t mess around lol)
But the ones who sit on their hands, don’t communicate with me, make excuses, tell me they haven’t done the action steps...well it takes a bit longer for them to get to the light at the end of the tunnel & I WISH I could do the work for them but I can’t & it would be the greatest disservice of all
Feeling inspired to make a 🧠 shift? Contact me now to see it & how we can work together 😊❤️☕️💆🏻♀️
💔Being consumed with how you look, if your fat is rolling over, if they noticed your legs jiggle when you walked
💔Questioning yourself at Parties, Dinners, & in Dressing Rooms
💔Lack / Fear of Intimacy & Pleasure
💔Covering Up in Your New Outfit When you Wish you could Just Own It for Once
💔Dieting Down or Eating Till You’re Sick
💔Avoiding Shopping At All Costs Despite Really Wishing You Could Wear that New Bikini
💔Saying No to Going Out or Spending Time with Loved Ones Because it Might Make you Ruin The Diet that is Meant to Solve all Your Problems
💔Following Diets, Trends, & Fads that Make you Feel Like a Constant Failure
💔Fishing for Approval & Validation from External Sources
💔Living A Lifestyle Led by Criteria & Standards to Meet more than Passion and Fulfillment
💔Treating Your Body like a Garbage Can & Ignoring all her Cues
💔Abusive / Toxic Relationships / Friendships
💔Constant Self-Consciousness that is so Distracting it Keeps you from Excelling in Everything you Have Dreamt of Doing
💔Making Numbers on a Scale more Significant to Your Worth than Your Unique Contribution to the world
💔Turning Food into a Game of Restriction, Gorging, Purging, or Morality
💔Lowered Confidence in Your Work
💔Comparing yourself to Other Bodies When you could be Connecting to your Own
💔Lashing Out on Loved Ones
💔Fear of Mirrors
💔Constantly Feeling Like You Are Never Enough
💔Avoidance of Being Seen
💔Skipping out on Booking a Vacation Because you don’t want anyone to see you in a bathing suit or a tank top
💔Working out Excessively
💔Using Clothing as a Shield Rather than as Expression or Comfort
💔Constantly Readjusting Clothing
💔Feeling Like You Can’t be Happy or Satisfied
CAN YOU RELATE?😭
I am SO glad I found UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for my body & I want to share that with YOU🥰
Leave a ❤️ below if you’re ready to LOVE your body & put an end to these side effects once & for all
If I get enough I’ll do a FULL video series on body image, confidence, & acceptance
PS if you haven’t done my Killer Confidence Course yet, Contact me saying 'Killer Confidence' & I’ll give you free access😊💓
Have you noticed that your happiness directly impacts every area of your life?
When your happiness supply is low, your relationships begin to feel tapped out too
When your happiness supply is high, your time at work or doing the mundane seems to be much more joyful
When you’re smiling, laughing, & radiating positivity you suddenly start attracting more of this
When you’re down in the dumps you tend to feel like nothing you do matters
Your family notices, coworkers, clients, friends, significant other...they all notice
We are human, we can feel, perceive, & read each other’s energies thanks to mirror neurons
One of my favorite compliments to receive is that I look genuinely happy, passionate, or *insert other positive emotion*
Because It reminds me how much our energy impacts others
But how does this all happen?
Why does this even matter?
Well, there’s the argument that our body will emit a lower frequency / vibration which changes how others feel near us
There’s also the argument that we‘ll likely wear our emotions on our sleeve (more like our face) which others will respond to
Then there’s the simple fact that negative emotions, specifically fixating on them, increases stress
The more you think negative—the more you’ll think, see, & attract negativity
This primes stimulus to find the negatives, which ultimately increases preoccupation on negativity & this triggers a “threat” response in our brain causing us to release not so great chemicals & has been proven to distract us from thinking clearly
So communication, decision making, enjoyment, & homeostasis all become impaired
It’s physiological as much as it is psychological
Don’t worry though, the more frequently you:
1. Recognize the emotion for what it is (This means you’re actually bringing it to surface)
2. Replace negative thinking with positive thinking (CONSCIOUSLY IN THE MOMENT—IMPORTANT)
3. Reward your positive actions, behaviors, thinking, & life with celebration (This is a form of conditioning positive action=pleasure=brain wants to keep doing it!)
Then the more you’ll be able to have happiness “on tap” ❤️😁
Share this blog with someone who needs to read this 👀🧠
If you have time to get up, walk to the bathroom, and weigh yourself first thing in the morning you sure as hell have time to think about what you’re grateful for, what you love about yourself, and what you’re looking forward to today
So, What’s your priority going to be?
Today I am doing a photoshoot with and I’m SO excited
Finally doing a shoot outside of a “stage lean” or “competitor lean” body and embracing where I am now
WHICH I LOVE BY THE WAY
I’m doing and did absolutely nothing to “prepare” for this shoot. I’ve drunk my water, ate my food, have had some artificial sweeteners and definitely didn’t do any extra cardio
I’m on prep right now and have been for a few months and no way would I jeapordize my progress or the way I feel for a shoot at this point
I’ve done photoshoot a hungry and thirsty and they suck. You just have headaches and never feel good enough
That’s why I’m excited for today!! To just have a shoot having fun and being me! To show others that you can feel AMAZING in your skin and transform your relationship with your body to the point where you just love and embrace her without any gimmicks or conditions
Me and Daraja Hill just discussed this on her episode of confessions of a bikini pro (it comes out in November) and she shared how much doing a shoot like this boosted her confidence and how she also did Nothing special to prep for it
I feel like it’s so easy to get caught up in where we “were” or “should be” or “will be” that we forget to be happy where we are right now
Your body is your souls greatest asset. Why wouldn’t you love and embrace her at every phase!? Especially when you’re honoring her, putting the work in daily, and making conscious choices; what’s not to love!?
Having a 'White Chicks' Movie Scene Moment? Feeling like Cellulite Sally and Tina the Talking Tummy Won't Cut You a Break?
I’ve had women express to me how it’s hard to go shopping knowing they are going to be a “bigger” size than they want to be / were
And yet, all their cute clothes don’t fit right now because they’re “too small” for them right now
So then you go through this weird limbo state of squeezing yourself into clothes you have or wearing only the baggier outfits that fit
1. You don’t want to spend money on new clothing when you’re ‘going to drop weight again’
2. You are afraid to go up in sizes
3. You ‘should’ be smaller
First of all, your size doesn’t mean anything. It’s arbitrary. A small here could be a large there
A one size fits all might look different on you than someone else who would’ve bought the “same” size if there was one
You’re body is always going to be changing. I’ve bought more than one size of the same sports bra knowing this before
I didn’t care that the small one didn’t fit my lats now because I had the medium which felt WAY more comfortable
Which brings me to the next point, you deserve to be comfortable in your clothing!!
You shouldn’t have to be tugging or stretching or pulling constantly
Of course this doesn’t mean you have to buy a whole new wardrobe, especially if you are dropping or gaining weight, but at least get some pieces your comfy in
Your body is your vehicle through this life and deserves to be dressed for optimal function, movement, and experiences
Third, I know for me as a competitor I have a “prep” drawer for clothing I really only fit in at the end of prep
But I don’t beat myself up for not fitting in it three months deep into an improvement season, that would be unrealistic if I’m trying to grow or if I put on more size
Of course, then that’s where we have to ask ourselves; “why does the size of my clothing bother me so much anyways?”
What does being “bigger” have to do with me being happy and confident?
What does being “smaller” have to do with that either??
Why does my size have any influence over any of this at all?
Asking yourself these questions helps you to get to the root of the fear or shame around size
Also, What matters to you more? Squeezing into a size 4 or comfortably bending down in your pants without worrying about busting a seam?
Lol, I’ve done both for sure
Can we just take a moment to notice that no one is pulling at your shirt or pants to peep the size you’re wearing?
Which brings me back to, why does the size bother YOU so much?
If being a size XXL bothers you, imagine how much you’ll be bothered when you’re “still an XL and want to be an XS” and then even that won’t be enough
Walking into stores squeezing yourself into sizes you “should” be or “have been” and then getting even more upset and justifying your negative thinking with “see I knew I was fat!!!” Is a recipe for disaster
Not only will you not find any clothing you like on your body but you’ll continue attaching size to losing your peace of mind
Here’s what I do, I DON’T EVEN BOTHER WITH SIZES
I remind myself they are all different therefore I grab all the sizes off the rack that look like they could fit and I try on the biggest one I grabbed first because I don’t want to bother squeezing into anything and hurting my shoulders or breaking a finger or worse ripping the clothes haha!
So I start big and work my way down until it’s justtttt right. And I don’t stare at the size telling myself “wow an extra large really???” Instead I Just say cool I gotta remember that for this brand because I like how it feels
I hope this helps you or someone you know!
Have you ever struggled with this? I never personally did as much as I’ve heard others or clients struggle with it
I have always found if we can challenge our belief systems and the automatic behaviors that couple with them, then we can experience a shift!
Happy Saturday 😊🥰🌟
p.s. don't name your body fat like the girl in White Chicks, try naming the demon in your head that's convincing you you aren't good enough because of it instead ;)