Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
If you ever wondered about how your brain and body work together to respond to (and protect you from) negativity, this is a very basic graphic you can use for reference
Many researchers have covered these reactions in depth through various research methods and case studies which can be interesting to look into!
On surface level we are told not to focus on the negatives. Because, of course focusing on the positives makes more sense
But if you are like me, sometimes it helps to know why that is?
This is pretty universal when it comes to negative stimuli. Be it a thought you have, experience you endure, or a situation, person, or thing you encounter
If you are going to focus on anything, let it be what you want to find more of!
Of course, given my passions I am going to say that having a positive relationship with yourself and priming your mind to focus on positives can and will show up in your decision making as it pertains to nourishing and caring for your body
You don't need to be a positivity robot that ignores all pain. In fact, that would be very unhealthy too!
Funny how our body and brain work to establish homeostasis and what a powerful lesson that is to always seek and find balance in our own day to day life
It is all connected, really!
If you want to prime your body's function, your decision making process, and your overall zest for life, practice the art of reframing!
Learn how to take what appears to be negative or less than ideal and see it in a new light.
One example shared in my Master's Program for Clinical Mental Health Counseling has stuck with me that I feel provides great insight in how you might apply to your own experiences. It was something along these lines;
A teacher called the mother of their student to let them know how well behaved and relatively tame the pre-k child was. The mother was happy but also confused because her child always acts up with her.
Crying when he gets home from school, fussing over little things after his day, and even resisting going to school! She told her therapist about how frustrating this was, to hear of how well behaved he is but also to have to constantly be in a state of chaos with him. To which the counselor replied, 'Ah, it sounds like your son feels safe to express his needs and emotions around you'.
The mother then realized she had never saw it like that. She only saw her kid as causing trouble or being a pain for her and good for everyone else.
It wasn't until a reframe was presented that she realized, it was not so much about changing her son or being resentful or confused about the behavior but more so honoring and embracing her son for being safe to express with her around versus being bottled up at school all day.
What stress or negativity might you be able reframe in your life today?
Need help coming up with something? Sometimes I like to ask myself, 'If this was actually a gift given to me by someone, how would I thank them for it on the spot?' This helps me to create urgency because you all know what it is like to be given a gift and think 'Oh, an avocado' when you were hoping for a squash ;).
Was this helpful for you? Did you gain any insight from this post? Share with a friend who could benefit or let me know what you got out of it!
At some point in your life you decided what it meant to not be beautiful, to have undesirable features, to be in less than perceived ideal shape, and to label differences / anomalies as flaws
Which also means that at some point you can also decide what it means to be beautiful, to celebrate your shape, to embrace your deviation from expected norms, and to accept what is truly human about your body
As you decided to believe in how you are not enough over time, or maybe it happened in a significant or traumatic moment, or even all at once
You may find that challenging the beliefs and having confidence in your new decision making around self-acceptance and beauty can also happen over time, in a moment (this one maybe?), or over a series of events
The important first step is recognizing that even if the beliefs have been “wired”, “conditioned”, or “reinforced” within you
They can also be detangled, removed, and replaced
Luckily for us, our body is equipped with a powerful tool which we can manipulate and change
And even better? That tool is our control center
Commanding your brain and leading yourself through introspection & commitment to new thought patterns, new behaviors, and new environments will ultimately lead to a new, and improved (depending on how you apply yourself), reality
Don’t wanna go at it alone? Contact me to discuss how we can work together so you can BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY and truly make peace with yourself
If you only ever did what “felt good” you’d likely never get to a place that’s even better
While I’m all for listening to your body & taking the time to reset or stepping back in business or school when you’ve been grinding a ton or not pushing through the pain all the time just to “hustle”
I also know for a fact that if I only did what “felt good” to me I wouldn’t be where I am today
Sure it would “feel good” to:
It’d feel good for the moment or maybe for many moments
But that’s not going to get you results you want
Now I am certainly not suggesting you sacrifice your mental health & begin to burden yourself to the point where the journey is not fulfilling or you’re unable to be present in the process
I’m saying you’re going to have to let go of old ways in order to create new realities
And the list above could have been entirely different depending on a season you’re in or your goals for life
What you need to be willing to commit to & what may be uncomfortable for you to commit to or do, is going to be different depending on your goals or needs
It’s about being mindful of what ways you need to step up to the plate NOW for the life you want
NOT SO YOU CAN GET SOMEWHERE & SAY, ‘YAY I SUFFERED SO LONG FOR THIS MOMENT’
I don’t believe in that either
Here’s a consumable breakdown / checklist to apply:
BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY
You deserve better than to be upset with the scale, your weight, or your body all the time
Weighing in shouldn’t be so stressful and the number on the scale really shouldn’t have any influence on how you feel about yourself
There’s so much more to you than how much you weigh but to believe that, you have to commit to rewriting the stories you tell yourself or have been told
Weight is like anything else, it is nothing until we give it meaning
Paying attention to the meaning, and reasoning behind that meaning, can give you so much insight into what needs to shift to help you have a different experience
I made this infographic to give you three concepts and how they can be applied in real life to help you overcome these anxieties and negative associations with weight
Feel free to Share it with a friend who you think could benefit 🙂 and definitely save it for future reference!
You can be healthy at every size and pursue health at any size; if anyone tells you otherwise, ask them how they define healthy
According to my beliefs, standards, knowledge, and expertise it’s certainly much deeper than surface level
What may bring you greater mental health, may bring someone else stress
What may bring you greater emotional health, may bring someone else irritation
What may bring you greater physical health, may bring someone else ailments or disdain or boredom!
I don’t need to expand on examples from here
The point is, health is complex
If you stay on top of ALL the areas, commit to what needs attention most, and have patience; you’ll eventually find harmony and balance
But of course, you’ll never feel healthy if the process you commit to isn’t even one you find joy or fulfillment or a feeling of growth from
How do you define being healthy? Does it change seasonally? Has it evolved over time? I’m curious!
Also, just released a new audio minisode on YouTube for the Build More than Just a Body series
It’s on the fallacy many fall into of “I’ll be happy when___”
I provide insight into how to shift out of this irrational pattern into a rational one and something we’ve learned about human fulfillment that serves as a great reminder to reinforce the new & rational pattern
I also pose a question in the episode that I know can really evoke deep thinking and consideration of the process and the result
You can watch ‘"I'll Be Happy When" A Question to Ask Yourself and an Application of Eliss's Irrational Ideas” (Ellis is a well-known American psychologist who developed REBT)
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the video and the above 💜
I don’t wear makeup, I don’t shave my hairy arms (pits legs etc yes lol-arms no thx), I rarely do my hair, I live in comfortable clothing, and even though this would qualify as non-dominant expressions of the current expectations of females... these expressions make me feel most beautiful--
When other women do their thing, & it makes them feel most beautiful & closer to their true self, that makes me really happy
Fitting ‘standards’ may feel constricting for some, but maybe they actually feel freeing & empowering & provide a genuine sense of belonging to others
There’s really no right or wrong way to express yourself—we just give meaning & connotations to words like “beauty” or “standard” that then creates the “goods” “shoulds” or “outliers”
Some days I am super inspired to “put myself together” & other days I’ll go as far as brushing my hair...MAYBE
I am passionate about so many different things & feel my best self is represented when I am free to express myself in MY most comfortable way
I wouldn’t want other women or any men to feel they couldn’t express themselves in a way they’re comfortable with just because of judgment or standards or perceptions of these factors
It is so freeing for humans when we can experience a deep sense of belonging to & for ourselves & see the impact of this acceptance on our ability to hold space for others
I admire others who do their own thing & those who support others in this
You can be a lot of different things at the same time
You can also be one thing at different times even when it may not “make sense”
I ramble in this because it seems there’s never a right way to encourage others to just be who they want to be without others then feeling or assuming they are not enough?
Maybe I’m alone In my experiences with that but I find the world needs more self acceptance & appreciation along with positive encouragement to embrace themselves for who they are
Then, we won’t resort to “i must not be enough” & instead we resort to “that’s interesting...”
But we question the power in words & instead empower ourselves & others to make the decisions based on their true desires & freedom of expression
What do you think?
You can be #bodyposi and #fitspo at the same time
Despite opinions promoted by anti diet culture or body positive and size based “movements” that changing your body = hating your body
This is only perpetuating the beliefs that need to be broken to enact change in society
Honestly, the times I spent hating my body were also my least productive times when it came to changing my body
The best results I’ve ever created came when I started doing what the version of myself who loved herself fully & completely in that phase of life would do
And the best part about that is it’s so much more freeing and fulfilling to work at something with love in your heart and positivity backing your commitments
I don’t feel anything is forced now
Even when it’s hard and I am challenging myself or pushing through physical and mental limits
Because I see that I am choosing everything and it is all for a really good and powerful reason
And I no longer feel so much pressure on myself because I am present with myself
You can change your body, achieve your goals, and commit to a better lifestyle without sacrificing your autonomy
You can also change your body without being shamed to believe that wanting to change it makes you a hater of it
You can change your habits without being convinced that in creating more positive commitments to yourself you’re actually trapping yourself into negative relationships with food or your body
You can love your body while also working to change it
You can change your body using acts of self love
The best way to do any of this is by detaching from expectations of the environments, communities, or society you’ve immersed into, challenging the negative / limiting beliefs rooted in loathe or external conditioning & reinforcements, and creating your own expectations for yourself
What expectations do you have of yourself that you need to release?
What thoughts or feelings toward yourself have been unfair lately?
What parts of you no longer feel like the real you?
Start within ❤️💆🏻♀️😊
Build More than Just a Body
You know that one trend going around that’s something along the lines of “____ is the magic pill no one wants to swallow?”
Usually the blank is filled in with things like: “a caloric deficit...progressive overload...consistency...”
What if self-love, deep inner work, healing, body acceptance, mindfulness, & mindset was actually the magic pill that no one wants to swallow?
No physical act matters if the mind isn’t aligned with it
It’ll eventually lead to self-sabotage, reverting back to old ways, unsustainable effort, or some other negative behavior that equates to the results not coming or not staying
Anyone can commit to a physical act but only those who truly believe in the act, themselves, and the reasoning for it usually end up committing to it long term
The inner work is what makes the difference in you just doing something or you becoming the someone who does those things over and over and over again
It’s not at all about what you “need” or “should” do. It’s really about who you must become and whether or not that’s a version of you you really feel good about
When we love ourselves, we are more likely to express that love to ourselves through our actions and behaviors
I believe a healthy mind is the prerequisite to sustainable physical results
What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts
Ps if you want to get ahead with your mindset Check out my on-demand mindset coaching platform where you get immediate access to mindset coaching on demand based on a struggle you’re having as well as group coaching calls and a full support group of other amazing women HERE
How can you expect to love your body in every season and phase if you have never even given yourself the opportunity to?
If you have only ever loved your body when she is stage lean, in prep mode, or shredding down, how can you love her when she is not?
Many competitors tell me about all the parts of their body they hate, can't stand looking at, or even how uncomfortable they are when it is time for check ins, to weigh in, take measurements, or just look in the mirror--especially if they aren't in prep or haven't been 'perfect' with their plan.
I never wonder why though
Most women, from an early age, are taught only to celebrate results if they are trending in the direction of the ideal standard they are seeking to meet
Celebrating the weight, inches, and body fat dropping or berating yourself, hating on yourself, or judging yourself for the weight, inches, or body fat going up are all forms of reinforcement
Stepping on the scale becomes this trigger for either a positive or negative situation
You either celebrate or you get down on yourself
It's much like a dog. The dog associates the owner's command with a trigger for either a positive reward (cheers, petting, and a treat) or negative reinforcement (no treat, noooos or frustration). When the outcome is positive, the dog is more likely to do that again and again
We condition ourselves similarly
So you can either stop the reinforcements altogether or reinforce equally at any stage
If you want to step away from the constant stress, worry, or inadequate feelings that come from your body, you have to be willing to remove the emotions and create new reinforcements
Rather than looking in the mirror with a critical eye, you may see functions or facts
Rather than stepping on the scale hoping for a lower number, you may step on the scale knowing you already have so much to be proud of and the physical results will come and you have to be fair with consideration of ALL data points
Rather than celebrating drops, just acknowledge it as data
Rather than hating on gains, just acknowledge it as data
Use the data to reflect, learn, and apply yourself
But above all else, celebrate your body every day for how she shows up for you, her functions, and how she unconditionally shows up for you every day regardless of her size or shape
The more you can celebrate your body for what she does and the more you can celebrate and focus on you doing your best to support her in that and honor yourself in your goals, the less the number on the scale will mean to you
No emotional reaction
If there is an emotional response, then choosing a new reinforcement, belief, or thought process around it in the moment to begin rewiring the pathways
But you can't expect to love your body in every phase when you refuse to love your body for more than her aesthetics
She deserves more recognition than that and you deserve more than a life consumed by thoughts of how your thighs look, your stomach feels, or what the battery operated scale is going to have to say this time
In June I am hosting a private workshop for my On-Demand Mindset Coaching Platform Members & all my clients on this topic. If you join the on-demand mindset coaching platform before the first week of June, you will be able to come on LIVE with us :)
I host these monthly live group calls to go over what people need, are proud of, have learned, and then usually a focus topic--June's will be on detaching from weight and capitalizing on conditioning through positive and negative reinforcement awareness
You can learn more about the On-Demand Mindset Coaching Platform for Competitors HERE
What I would do when I would find myself getting too caught up in what the scale said or how my body looked
I would set out to only weigh myself for check-ins and only looked at my body at check-in photos or when I was getting ready to shower or getting ready to go somewhere
I would not do any body checking!!!
Meaning, no more lifting up my shirt every time I passed the mirror or checking my butt in my pants even with a side eye glimpse
This was really freeing for me and allowed me to just have gratitude for my body and the commitments I made to myself and my goals
It helped me learn to be proud of my effort & lifestyle more than the result
This lesson reinforced the power of the process and the enjoyment in it
Of course this helped with my body image because I wasn’t bodychecking constantly and creating strong associations between what I ate or what I did with the way my body looked
I also wasn’t then creating associations with the scale that said “well that is going to determine if what I did was enough”
Instead, I started to see I was enough already
I was worthy and deserving of my commitment to myself and to the process. Plus, I really loved it
I was less concerned about the outcome because I could trust that it would eventually come given my sincere dedication to and appreciation for the process
It made every physical result so much sweeter because I wasn’t so attached to it
Sometimes I will use this process with myself even to this day if those patterns begin to resurface
It is all about being self-aware and conscious enough to get ahead of it
Let me know if you try this and how it helps you!
Ps if you struggle with body image, I invite you to hop in my on-demand mindset coaching platform
Not only do you get varying content on body image related specifically to what you input as your struggle
You also get full access to a community, monthly live group workshops, and extra bonuses!
Hope to see you in there! You can click Here to learn more and join now
BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY