Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
This pic sums up how my improvement season is going🤪😍💪🏻
🤗I am happy!
🍽I’m well fed!
😛I am having fun!
💪🏻I am making muscle & strength gains!
💆🏻♀️I’m at peace with my body and food 9.9/10!
My body loves me back and is functioning at a high level for me!
⌛️I have totally 100% accepted and embraced taking time off!
Phew! Last time I competed was September!🤯
I can’t even believe it’s been 5 months going on 6!
It feels so good to have everything in order.
Body, relationships, school, business, the works!
I feel like this is the period of time I will look back on and be like I am SO glad I did that!
I’m really really in full belief that time is on my side and you should all know by now I don’t plan to step on stage again unless I’m way better than I was!
Last season I gained a ton of experience and momentum and I improved sooo much in a healthy and fulfilling way!
But my body still wouldn’t have been highly competitive at a national level.
Dieting down / prepping more wouldn’t have gotten me there either.
Building and a beak was the most logical thing to do!
I thought maybe a few months but I finally prioritized my health and feel like now my body is functioning even better!
A body with balanced hormones is able to process, recover, and function way better then one without it!
And I’m feeling that!! It feels damn good too!
Especially when the super human woman strength kicks in around the period!
Just every day I am pushing it!
Focused on more compound movements throughout the week, going up in weight, challenging myself, and creating a solid base for when I consider another prep
(which I’ve basically mapped out the shows / game plan I’d like to do if my coach and body agree with me 😜)
Still eating very clean, mixing in some treats, allowing more freedom, trying new things, just livin!
ANYWAYS! I could go on forever.
Main thing is, YOU CAN FIND PEACE IN AN IMPROVEMENT SEASON!
Your peace may look different from others and that is A-OKAY!
As long as you feel confident, healthy, fulfilled, empowered, strong, and aligned with your goals and actions that’s all that matters!
Having an eating disorder is no joke and should never be taken lightly.
As a student of psychology and someone who has been through very toxic patterns with my relationship to food I have learned a great deal about these disorders.
I am no expert but it is something I have invested a lot of time and energy into educating myself on and am truly passionate about expanding in.
In a few of my psychology classes I made my entire focus to be only on reading about the diagnosis and treatment of eating disorders because this is something I know to be prevalent in the fitness community.
There are very very specific criteria for a diagnosis for an eating disorder within the DSM-IV.
Maybe you’ve never been diagnosed, you’ve never talked to anyone about your relationship with food, and you’ve never connected the emotions you have about your body or your life to the way you eat. But so much of this is comorbid, treatable, and I believe preventable.
If we can become aware of toxic thought patterns before it becomes a full blown disorder I think this is just as important as bringing awareness to the disorders themselves.
My personal struggle started at a very young age. My first “diet” was a bananas and milk diet. I was always uncomfortable in my body when I became aware that other kids weren’t as big as me.
I felt like the weird one. I was called names like “Bigfoot” and made fun of for my size like one time I tripped and landed on a kid and he called me a “fat fuck” which was rough because all I wanted to do was play basketball with them.
Eventually I kind of grew out of this / into my body but I can remember when I got into fitness it started from a place of wanting to change my body. I was in highschool, around 16 years old.
I went through a breakup, looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw or how I felt in my body, I felt like I had no control, and I also wondered how much better of an athlete I could be if I did more than just go to practice.
So I changed the way I ate and started working out a ton at home. But this is where things weren’t so pretty...
I thought I had to workout after every meal I ate. I was afraid that if I didn’t then I would lose progress, gain fat, and not achieve my goals. I also thought I had to earn everything I ate so whether it was 3x1min jumping jacks after a bite of food or a full blown 50min HIIT workout after a meal, I was committed. This was my way of purging.
I also wasn’t educated or aware of what was actually right for me or my goals. I put my body through so much. And I was never happy with myself.
I also had a diagnosis for depression and anxiety after never-ending suicidal ideations, an attempt, and fear of my own mind that ran through every vein in my body. I felt my nutrition and exercise was the only thing I truly had control over considering I couldn’t even control my own mind.
I had realized that no matter what i did though, i was never content or proud of myself. There was always more to demand of myself.
So new extremes would be reached. I hired a coach, learned what foods were 'bad' and 'good', trained super hard after finally having money to get a gym membership, and on the weekends I was allowed one meal where I basically just binged and binged until I couldn't eat anymore. Then, right back at it during the week.
Eventually I learned this pattern was unhealthy, unsustainable, and causing me a lot of mental and emotional distress while also impacting my day to day life.
This time though and these experiences, taught me so much in my life. Aside from discipline that I’m grateful for it also taught me freedom and self love.
At the time I had fallen in love with fitness it felt like my therapy, may saving grace, and gave me so much! So, I got my personal trainer certification and started studying to receding a degree in clinical nutrition and dietetics.
In 2015 decided to do a bikini competition to see how far I could take my body and see what progress I’ve made and just after treating myself like a guinea pig for so long after falling in love with fitness!
I wanted to experience this.
But my demons weren’t completely gone.
Which became even MORE apparent to me after the show. I had a crazy rebound and the light finally got shone on my darkness with food and my body And it was the pain i needed to discover my true purpose on this earth, to help people BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY.
And thus, my self love journey began and slowly developed into so much More.
I could have sworn I invented intuitive eating as I began diving into the opposite of what I’d done for yours but then I found this was something many people have been through and overcome, I started learning and researching and asking the right questions of myself!
I maintained healthy habits but gave myself freedom.
I detached from the fear of foods and opened myself up to new beliefs and ideas. I began to heal, truly heal from the inside out.
Over this two year period I healed my relationship with food, my body, and my life really. I expanded into personal development, mindset work, holistic practices and beliefs, found and lived by MY truth—not others, and even changed my major to psychology because this is the true work I want to do in the world.
I was finally mentally ready to do another bikini competition and what do you know? It didn’t harm me. Nothing surfaced that I hadn’t already worked through.
I was mentally stable and loved myself at a level where the choices I was making were not from a disordered or distressed place. They didn’t negatively impact how I functioned on a daily basis.
I saw my body as a blessing, not a curse, and I now use the lessons, education, research review, personal breakthroughs and experiences, as well as alllllll my darkness to now bring LIGHT into the world for many people who don’t see it yet. I am at peace.
I was able to find peace.
I became consciously aware before it became too big of a problem. I saw my pain and went into it, poked it, made it hurt sooooo bad, that the only option I had was to clean it and sew myself back up—so I did.
Eating disorders have become more prevalent over the years.
Promoting disordered behaviors, the ‘right vs wrong’ mentality, the ‘good bs bad’ labels, the ‘this diet vs that one’ DOES NOT HELP THE CAUSE.
I think it is our responsibility in the fitness and health industry to promote;
Body positivity AND health
Being aware AND treatment
Accepting others AND loving ourselves
The truth that we are ALL DIFFERENT and just because something worked or didn’t work for you or hurt you or triggered you doesn’t mean it does the same for others.
We have a responsibility to promote educating, helpful, and positive messages.
I have made my life's work about helping others to align inner work with physical results. I help people to Build More than Just a Body to establish a fulfilling, freeing, and empowering lifestyle.
I have created three programs that could be perfect for you if you are going through this:
My 4 Week Food Freedom Academy to help anyone breakdown the barriers between themselves and food, improve that relationship, get in touch with their intuitive eater, and find balance. For all the information and to sign up you can click HERE
My 8 Week Post-Show Personal Development Program for Bikini Competitors to help you make peace with food, your body, and your new goals while heading into an improvement season. I go deeper than surface level, looking beyond macros, reverse dieting, or accountability check ins and deliver my signature mindset action method to help you find peace deep within you so you NEVER experience the post-show blues again without knowing exactly what to do!
This is perfect to enroll in while you are in prep to have for right after the show or if you are currently dealing with the post-show blues this will help you overcome them! You can learn more about it and sign up by clicking HERE
My 1:1 Mindset, Self-Love, and Personal Development Mentorship breakthrough coaching packages where we work together privately to overcome your personal limiting beliefs, toxic relationship with yourself, and unhealthy patterns that make you feel less than your absolute most fulfilled and freest. This is personal and customized to each individual. To learn more and inquire about how we could work together and how this works you can apply HERE
1 Day Post Show Body is Always Awesome, who agrees?!😍
Can’t wait to do this again, but even better!!💪🏻
But for now, I’m right where I need to be and everything is happening with perfect timing!
I struggle to put into words exactly everything I’ve “been through” since September.
My goal is to always keep it REAL with you guys. And honestly I don’t know any other way!
One ‘failure’, ‘mistake’, or ‘setback’ doesn’t define you.
The way you think about yourself does.
The way you talk to and about yourself does.
The way you feel about it all does.
Things may not go to YOUR plan but they are always going according to plan
Don’t try being soooo perfect that you hold yourself back from the greatness that’s already within you!
I wish I could go back and tell myself to relax, that I’m fine, and not to stress or be upset with myself.
But that’s why I’ve learned.
And now I can apply this knowledge for my journey for YEARS to come!!😍
I’m GRATEFUL for this.
From gaining fat, body image, scale, identity, changing goals, and basically throwing shit at the wall until something stuck!
You may not be able to accomplish EVERYTHING you set out to all at once but if you can prioritize the most important thing (in my case it was hormones) despite what it means for other big picture goals...
THEN THAT IS A WIN, A POSITIVE THING, SOMETHING WORTH CELEBRATING!
Just because not every SINGLE thing is perfect doesn’t mean this moment, this growth, this life can’t be.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you’ll never accomplish anything else!
Man, I’d like to believe I’m usually a great writer & speaker but sometimes even my own journey has me stumped for exact expression
I guess sometimes we are left speechless by the things that are better experienced than explained.
The universes way of saying, “Had to be there” maybe?🤷🏻♀️😋
That feeling when you get your period for 2 consecutive months🥳
Honestly, if any of you want to complain about Aunt Flow I am not here for it anymore.
I get it, I used to complain about having the worst cramps, heavy periods, and aches during my period!
I still think period memes are funny but man, I regret taking her for granted!
But you really don’t know what you got till it’s gone!
I went TWO YEARS without a period because of stress on my body, in my body, and around my body!
It’s amazing the way perspective can shift when your goals are different though...
I’m not concerned about being the leanest I’ve ever been right now, or running faster miles, sprinting to the point of feeling like I am going to fall, doing split jump lunges till I collapse, and jump roping like I’m in some intense boxing movie and bout to kick some serious booty.
I’m not as focused on having less and less fat in my body, food in my diet, or numbers on the scale.
I’m not worried about how I’m going to look in a bikini on stage or how much my leg jiggles when I walk or the way my waist look in each pose.
All of those things are awesome. And I love them.
Even though some of you might think it sounds miserable, it’s not about picking ourselves apart as competitors it’s about being honest enough to see where improvement needs to be made and not complaining about the challenges!
I love that grind. I love the mental requirements. And I love the shreds.
Just because it’s not my priority right now doesn’t mean it never will be.
I have my period back. My health is mine. I’m energized. I kill my workouts. And I feel very free and happy with my body!😍
And getting my period actually means I can entertain the idea of a prep again (probably later on in the year!)
I wanted to share a little bit of what I’m doing now and then next month when I get my period naturally for the 3rd month in a row I’ll make a video explaining everything I did in more detail!
But I wanted to share some...
I’m still eating very clean, especially to make sure I have as little stress on my body as possible from artificial or processed foods (but yo girl still eats some of it!!)
I am training hard still. By differently. I haven’t done cardio in A LONG TIME!!!
I had been putting so much stress on my body with it that I completely cut it out aside from the odd dog walk or hike.
Yep, no cardio which means less stress on my body
I also didn’t want to gain anymore weight because that can also be stress on the body so I dropped cals and got my shit together more regimented and am maintaining for the most part.
I take my supplements religiously. I think this was my downfall before. On prep I’d be like meh meh meh I’ll take a multi.
Now I got the goods. I set records for how many I can take at once. Boom baby 12 at once!!
I’m conscious of how much sleep I’m getting, how my body is recovering, and the identity I am in (making sure I’m acting like a girl who is working to maintain her period and not a maniac)
I am waiting until I have had my period for 3 months straight before I even entertain the thought of competing (but I am not going to lie and say my pure giddyness and tears have not somewhat been connected to the fact that I know getting my period means I am that much closer to the stage again!)
I will share once it happens and give all you my own personal shares or you can message me and I can kind of give you the low down for now. But this post does a good job too.
I’m in such a good position right now to build muscle because I have so much energy, am eating quality foods, and am actually releasing attachment to the outcome because there is no stage in sight for me
I’ve been so much more connected to why I did any of this in the first place.
I am learning so so much from this time, one post couldn’t even do it justice.
I’ll keep you posted as time goes on but wanted to share some insight into it now and then next month I’ll make a video explaining what I’ve been doing in more depth 🙂
What will you remember about 2018 in 10 years from now?
So many amazing things happened (and not so amazing things) but I’m going to focus on all the incredibleness right now!
I did a lot of reflecting and found out that i actually have way more to be happy and proud of myself for than I thought!😍
Here are some of the best moments, not in order:
✨Launched my podcast, Confessions of a Bikini Pro
✨Quit my day job to be full time in my biz
✨Competed in 4 bikini competitions (2 in feb, July, September) all with top 5 finishes & qualified for nationals (but I’m nowhere near ready for it yet—lots of growing & healing to do)
✨Spent a day with my friend in the mountains and forest
✨Bought my first car! A brand new 2018 Dodge Challenger!
✨Found my niche finally and lost my program for bikini competitors struggling with the post show blues
✨Working closer with Ingrid DiScuillo Romero for Team EDGE And Edge Supps plus getting to rock Ingrid Romero Bikinis On stage and do amazing charity work
✨Worked at the Olympia with Hydration Junkie
✨Had my first $5k+ income month
✨Committed to a new daily ritual and got back on track after feeling meh and mentally lost in beginning of year
✨Started new wellness and self love habits
✨Hired a trainer for mobility & functional work (yes, even trainers can benefit from trainers!)
✨Worked with some amazing people both as clients and through networks or events and was featured on amazing podcasts and platforms
✨Grew closer to so many of my amazing friends
✨AND SERIOUSLY SO MUCH MORE😭😍
Some other things I journaled on were:
💡Biggest lessons learned
💡Things I’m letting go of for next year
💡Overall theme of the year (definitely was bold just as I intended it to be)
💡5 words to sum it up (bold, fun, exploratory, intense, change)
I am just so frikkin happy and grateful for this life. Cheers to another happy new year for everyone.
Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me or coming along for the ride now, so meaningful to me❤️
😍Now Step into the higher version of you and act from that every day and see how your actions, thoughts, and behaviors change!👊🏼
Can’t even express how much happier, positive, driven, & amped up I’ve been lately!!!
All since trusting my gut and honoring myself by reclaiming the process of improving my own hormonal health.
I really can’t imagine how I would have felt if I took the birth control pill for more than the month that I was on it...
I’m dancing around again, coming up with new ideas every day, and feel like I’m in constant flow again.
I’m back to wanting to wake up extra early to get tomorrow started & avoiding going to sleep as though it will stop the day from ending.
I am totally feeling like myself again.
While my mental health is still a conscious choice every day;
It’s no longer some heavy ass struggle that no matter what I did I couldn’t mend it because of some synthetic pill.
It’s now just a darkness that sometimes shows up to remind me how frikkin bright I am otherwise.
I am truly feeling ALIVE.
I’m not sure if many women ever experience such negative side effects in such a short time period but as mentioned in previous posts it can be scary!
I’m also gettin post pill acne like nutsos but it’s ok bc I am ok now!!!
I’ll take acne over inexplicable degrading mental health / thought patterns that haven’t been present since transforming my mindset & committing to personal development work a few years ago...
If you’re consuming toxicity whether that’s through food, a pill, social media, news, music, or the people & conversations around you...
This is my lil love nudge to you that;
IT IS OKAY TO CUT THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND DO WHAT YOU KNOW IN YOUR DEEPEST DEPTHS OF YOUR BODY AND SOUL IS RIGHT FOR YOU!
*regardless of what people who do not live in your vessel say about it*
Why I stopped taking birth control. My Hormone and Period Update...
Sooo If you’ve been following my journey for a bit you would know I’ve been without a natural period for two years.
I went on progesterone a year ago on a 10 day prescribed cycle & it gave it back to me until I started prepping again & poof it was gone.
Then I dedicated all of 2017-2018 to prepping. I took only approx 21 weeks ‘off season’ total. The numbers are on another post to be exact.
Anyways, cut to a few months ago I got blood tests and found out I was in menopausal levels of estrogen
Long story short since I’ve already explained this on videos and posts (I am happy to send you the other posts if you dm me)
Under the pressure of docs and my deep desire to compete again sooner rather than later I went on Tri lo Sprintec after some natural remedies didn’t get me what I needed
I hated that I was going to take a pill but it seemed like the best and only option for me, I was so scared
I went through a full cycle experiencing side effects within the first 3 days.
I had horrible headaches, began to get bad bacne, and I felt totally out of my usual creative self
After about 1.5 weeks I began feeling my already existing depression and anxiety get even worse
By the 3 week mark (the last cycle of hormones before the sugar pills and the time when you get your first SYNTHETIC period)
I was experiencing suicidal ideations beyond what I have had since high school.
I hadn’t felt so much like killing myself since then.
I open up to share this because everyone’s experience is different and mine began taking my mental health.
One morning I went to the park in hopes that doing my journaling and having breakfast there after implementing fasted cardio every morning for mental purposes would help me
There I found myself literally being consumed by thoughts of hurting myself badly. I don’t know if I even should share the gory details here.
My anxiety is comorbid with my depression.
Essentially when I get depressed I get SUPER anxious because I don’t have any trust in my brain and think I’ll kill myself without truly wanting to.
Like some demon is in my head controlling me like a puppet
I’m at a point where I have learned to address and move through many of these thoughts so I knew something was off
I knew the hormones were causing this but I thought I was strong enough to work through it!
That morning I realized I AM STRONG ENOUGH but I don’t deserve to deal with that every day of my life
My life is meant to be lived at my highest capacity of soul and self. This pill was taking that from me.
I wouldn’t give up a piece of my mental health for a portion of physical health that I know I can get through another way
I’m at a bit of a loss in complete honesty. Getting my body to love my lifestyle and mindset as much as me has been tough
I love rigorous exercise or constant movement. I work non stop whether its business or schoolwork I don’t stop.
I put my body through a lot of chosen stress and while I thrive off of it as a person my body is in need of TLC
Sooo, back to square one. One step at a time.
Supplementing properly, eating whole and nutritiously (per usual but even more so), and realigning my true goals.
I am not unhappy with my body. I love her for being such a powerful communicator to me.
But man, I’d be lying if I said this has been easy.
Right now I’m reading through the period repair manual and doing extra research based on my blood tests.
I’m confident in my ability to get through this and I’m not going to stress about it because that’s the LAST thing I need (likely the cause of all this)
Thank you to my closest friends for being here for me.
You guys know who you are and whether you know it or not, the snapchats, hangouts, workouts, or pre made plans helped keep me going
I am grateful to have a business with incredible clients and a big vision to wake up for.
I am grateful to have people like all of you who care and I can share with and inspire
I am grateful to have these struggles as I embrace new journeys I am meant to go through in life.
And if you’ve read this far, you the real MVP
These will be the times I’ll look back on to speak about, write about, or support others with.
THESE ARE PARTS OF MY STORY THAT WILL ADD MORE DEPTH TO MY MISSIONS. (whether I like it or not)
I will continue to expand on my story as it comes and progresses! I am hopeful :)
From a young age I remember thinking that having a flat tummy with lines and a tiny waist would make me happier.
I felt that my body was never good enough.
I was always the kid who was more developed than everyone else, I just looked so much larger and I was round shaped. I was a total tomboy because it was comfy, I was an athlete, and I never fit into Abercrombie, Hollister, or limited too jeans like the other girls in school.
I prided myself on being an athlete, the ‘sporty’ chick. I tried to make up for my ‘not enough’ body with actin like a clown, practicing my sport for hours, or getting exceptionally good grades.
I judged myself on what I ate all the time.
When I was a young girl in elementary school, I remember some of my friends who were smaller and more healthy-looking eating carrots when I had my gogurt. This was when I began associating food with looks and being 'bad' or 'good'
I went over to someone’s house one time with my best friend and they told me I couldn’t jump on the trampoline with them because I was 'too fat and would break it'. I think I lost friends because of my size too. I was called ‘big foot’ in soccer.
I recall my last year of soccer, I wanted to get thinner, so I made a promise to myself to run the whole entire 5 minute ‘movement’ warm up, rather than doing what others did like walk and laugh and have fun, I just ran and ran and ran. And I was so afraid of failing the mile test going into middle school that I spent a whole summer running just to practice for it.
I would be poked by adults in the stomach warning me that I may be on the biggest loser someday. I would be asked what I am eating every time I sat down for a meal and would notice people look me up and down.
I went on my first diet at 9 or 10 years old. It was the same diet my dad did when he was little and husky like me, it was the bananas and milk diet. I remember learning about calories and being outraged that I couldn’t enjoy most of the foods I loved, and it explained why the Oreo cakesters and chunky soups every day were not helping me none.
I recall seeing these women around town, on the covers of magazines, running amazing companies, modeling, getting the guys in the movies, playing sports, or rocking it in a band and I connected this to having a tight tummy. I thought that fat was scary, bad, and should not exist on the body in copious amounts.
Oh, and I can clearly remember when grocery stores, media, and companies began popping up with sugar free this or fat free that. I began thinking this meant ‘healthier’ or ‘better’, but it wasn’t until I became more aware, educated, and opened my eyes to see that this is all about staying a certain size or shape, not about health.
When I got into high school, I discovered fitness.
I was suicidal most of my freshman and sophomore year.
Exercise became my outlet. I was playing volleyball year-round every day, if there wasn’t volleyball practice or a tournament, I would either be training for it or practicing. I started going to the gym at 5am before school every day and then fell asleep in math class before I went to volleyball practice or a game, and then to coach club vball and have a practice too.
I was obsessed with movement. But I also was hyperfocused and concerned about what I was eating. I stuck 110% to a plan unless it was a cheat meal or cheat day of course in which case I would just binge because I thought that's what all the best people in the industry were doing so I would too to get a nice body and be happy like them! That's when my unhealthy relationship with food began. I would even make sure to exercise after EVERY thing I ate because I thought this was a sure fire way to make sure I burned more than I consumed (probably why I became very thin with little muscle development).
I packed canned chicken and Ezekiel bread with me to school, I had canned green beans, ground turkey, and other smell ass food, I walked around with a gallon of water, ate lunch in my car most days because I felt so disconnected from everyone and everything around me.
I always wanted to be true to myself and would not sacrifice that for anything. I was never into what most people were soooo I never went to parties, I detested the thought of school dances, and every homecoming, winter formal, and even prom, I went to the gym instead. I met some seriously amazing people in the gym. I found such an awesome community there and made friends who I still see there to this day.
I started my Instagram account to document what I was doing, be accountable, and in all honesty to have a separate place to follow all the fitness accounts outside of my personal feed.
It wasn’t until my junior year, when I realized, despite all the physical work I am doing, I am still depressed, my anxiety eats me up, and one day I am the ambitious leader who kicks ass and the next I am the slug who cant stop crying in bed and wishing she was never born, why???
It was in that moment, I realized that something was missing...
But, I still didn't have it all figured out...I even did a bikini competition in 2015 to see how far I could take myself, how much I could push myself, how 'good' I could look, I thought it was my fast track to fitness success! It was my excuse for having an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise. It was easier to say 'I am prepping for a bodybuilding show' than to say, I am extremely afraid of gaining fat, eating certain foods, or looking big, or being the least fit athlete in the room.
I didn't get called out at that show after working months for it. But it was my first show, I had come so far. And then, I rebounded, I gained 30 pounds in 3 weeks, I didn't know what to do. Everything hit me because I was only using things to cover up the pain and the problems of my life rather than addressing them...
After that I became aware of the fact that fitness is about BUILDING MORE THAN JUST A BODY
From then on I dedicated my time to learning how to love myself, breaking through many of the strict food rules I created and was taught that were causing me to binge or feel guilty, I began to recognize ways I can make myself feel healthier and stronger rather than just chasing an aesthetic, I found ways to work on my mindset and I eventually even went to therapy for my mental health.
In the last 3 years I have been immersed in the personal development world. I switched my major from clinical nutrition and dietetics to Psychology because I didn’t want to write diet plans for people with diseases, or anyone at all. I wanted to approach health holistically and focus on the real problems.
The problem is never food, yet we keep trying to manipulate it. The problem is never exercise, yet we keep trying to force it. The problem usually lies in the identity, mindset, self-efficacy, and loathing patterns an individual has but are most often overlooked.
It became my mission 4 years ago to help others love themselves and feel confident in their body through fitness.
3 years ago, it became about aligning inner work with physical results to help people build more than just a body.
Today, I am still committed to this.
I spent all of last year competing in bikini after healing my relationship with food, my body, and even my goals and stages of shape change because I wanted to give bodybuilding another crack when I really truly loved myself, not when I didn't love myself and needed it to numb myself.
I competed the whole year because I was truly THRIVING on it. I seriously never thought I would fall in love with it but I did. I fell in love with it because it was ADDING to my life, it was ACCENTUATING my favorite things about myself and my personality, and it was GIVING me something to be even more excited about.
Here's the thing, now, when I have a flat stomach it is not what makes me happy, it is a result of my happiness. How does this work? I love myself so much that naturally I am inspired to enjoy nutritious foods, talk to great people, and eliminate anything that causes me stress. I love myself so much that I enjoy foods to their enjoyment, not to the point of discomfort or out of scarcity. I love myself so much that I am able to live more presently, moment to moment because I am committed to the conscious choice of doing so (in all honesty, it isn't always easy and I slip up a lot but I have the tools and practices in place to overcome it and snap out of it and into my higher self) and a higher vibration)
In my entire journey, I have found a system that works not only for finding peace of mind, comfort in one’s body, and in getting to a healthier feeling and amazing aesthetic shape, but also for making peace with food, embracing goals with love, and shifting identities so that everything we pursue is attained much more effortlessly because it is fueled with love above all other things.
Our story, our patterns, our experiences help to shape us, but we can rewrite our story, make a new pattern, and create new experiences by learning from our past and being present, in this moment right now.
We can become mindful, through every moment, breath by breath, to always always anchor into self-love, connect with our core soul codes/beliefs, and design our life through the accomplishment of our goals.
We only become limited, small, or unworthy when we choose to define ourselves this way.
Our base level is always free, expansive, loving, open, and changeable.
I have never felt more loved by myself in my entire life than when I let go of the box others wanted me to be in or defined me by or that I thought I should try to fit into and embraced my true needs, began living more intuitively, and asked myself;
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
What I am willing to do to get there?
You deserve to feel empowered in your own skin!
You deserve to feel loved by yourself unconditionally!
You deserve to live your life by your soul’s deepest values!
You are so much more than just a body, you are beyond capable of building more than just a body.
Are you ready to?
If so, I would love to see how we can work together to make this happen, if you read this and got inspired to work with me or see what we can do together... I would like to offer you a breakthrough strategy coaching call where I will dive deep with you, see what needs to be shifted within you, and of course create a breakthrough.
Then we will discuss if it is a good fit for us to work together moving forward and go from there. In order to get this call you must fill this form out and apply as I do not work with just anyone, chances are though, if you have made it this far, we are likely a great fit : APPLY HERE
some photos of my journey, fixated on the size of my stomach including shots when I never truly loved myself to when I was empowered by loving myself, can you guess which ones were taken when? :)
My business is my heart and soul.
I’ve been warned that this is a bad way to look at business...
That it will ‘destroy me’ to connect myself so deeply to my business outcomes, impact, and other success.
But personally, I don’t think I would have accomplished the things I have or become the person I am without being fully invested in this
It’s one thing to have a business.
It’s another thing to have a business you love and will give everything too.
I always knew I was meant to work in my passions and live my life doing what I love.
And here I am, proving myself right.
Regardless of others beliefs or concerns, I just can’t deny that my mission to eradicate self-loathe by helping others to build more than just a body is my kick in the ass every morning to get up and do it.
This mission gives me purpose. It gives me hope. It gives me fulfillment. And it gives me life.
I know that without this, I would struggle more with the challenges I’ve faced like depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.
This isn’t just ‘business’ or some ‘side hustle’ or a ‘hope it works’ type of thing. It is my life, my heart, and my soul.
And if you think that will make it destroy me, then I’d like to respectfully disagree...
This has saved me; over and over and over again.
And on that note...
Feeling totally on fire today. Getting shit done and loving every moment of it.
I am working on so many exciting projects & ready for this ride!
What is exciting you today?👇🏻
I CREATED THIS REALITY, YOU CAN TOO!
Today I bought my first car.
It’s a 2018 Dodge Challenger 😍
I am so happy and grateful to be in a place where I can choose and HAVE what I want.
I pursue my dreams for my soul.
I work every damn day for my soul.
I create content daily from my soul for other souls.
I do what I am incredible at and what I love every day because I know I can and do make a difference.
I write my next level reality down daily.
I believe in myself more than anyone else ever could.
I take the path that others would run away screaming from.
Because I KNOW I have always been meant for more.
Why play it safe when I got this figured out? I CHOOSE TO LIVE IN ABUNDANCE!
My passion and drive to eradicate self loathe by raising the level of self love on the planet wakes me up every day.
People say it takes courage to follow your dreams and I’d say they are right.
But it’s never scared me...it’s a non-negotiable.
I either do what I love, what makes a difference, and what fuels my soul, or I do nothing at all.
But I’m also responsible for taking action.
Manifesting doesn’t just happen in the mind or with a pen and paper.
I take responsibility by learning, investing in myself, growing, all while making sure I’m aligned with my next level identity.
It’s a conscious choice.
But so is;
Making smart choices.
Investing (time, $, energy, effort).
This reality was created with the help of many influences in my life, every person, thought, environment, decision, etc.
But especially my parents who always support me in everything & have created space for me to make things like this happen!
It’s a bit surreal to be honest.
When I drove up to the dealer I thought, so this is what the power of mindset work, perseverance, & aligned action can do for someone...
WHY DOESN’T EVERYONE FRIKKIN DO IT?!
Well, if you want to learn some of the mindset tools that literally changed my life & helped me create this reality then...
Buy my #1 best selling book: “Believe your way to badass” then message me a pic of your receipt / proof of purchase
I’ll hook you up with the 21 Day Believe your way to Badass Program that supplements the book at a ‘buyers discount’
Considering I got a sweet deal yesterday, I’ll hook you up too 😉
You can get my book on amazon here: http://amazon.com/author/celesterains-turk