2015 to 2018
First competition ever to Most recent competition
I always feel nostalgic after the Musclecontest iron games show, every year because it was the first bikini competition I ever competed in.
It will always hold a special place in my heart and I hope to compete in it again someday
Competing goes way beyond the stage and I’m grateful to have coaches who are always here for me through it; mentally and physically
The girl in the first picture dreamed to wear a beautiful suit one day like the other competitors...
Now I am grateful and honored to always be rockin Ingrid Romero Bikinis
The girl in the first picture hoped to one day have a deeper connection to the sport...
Now I run a podcast interviewing professional athletes in the sport, I work with companies like Edge Supps
The girl in the first picture felt disconnected from other competitors and alone on show day...
Now I have my amazing teammates and love meeting the women backstage and on Instagram
The girl in the first picture didn’t compete out of love and had a horrible post show rebound
Now I coach bikini competitors experiencing post show blues in their personal development journey.
The girl in the first picture never thought she would compete again
Now I can’t get enough of the stage, the sport, and all the fun, rewarding, and challenging growth that comes with it
Hope this story inspires you in some way on your own journey 💜💜
I am grateful for my Team Edge coaches Joe DiScuillo and Ingrid DiScuillo Romero for guiding me through the past almost 2 years now for my whole 2017-2018 season.
I am Currently focused on building for new memories and goals of 2019. ☺️🙌🏻
UPDATE😍😭 I found out today that the health issues I discussed in my last video have some incredible upsides.
1. My future fertility is not at jeopardy.
2. The main concern is bone mass / density.
At this age I’m creating the foundation for my older adult years and my body is at risk for future osteoporosis and other bone complications with the estrogen levels I am at.
3. The birth control pill I’ve been prescribed is the lowest of the low for synthetic estrogen because I told them how much I didn’t want to take it or anything for that. However, my options are pretty limited with all things considered.
So, I’ve made my decision on how I’ll be moving forward. I intend to always be open and real with you guys.
Please respect that and keep your negativity away as that’s the last thing I or my body needs.
I’m going to take what I’ve been prescribed while also being on top of the natural practices I’ve been utilizing.
Pills are synthetic so when I stop taking this, I will be in the same position I am in today.
I’m very much in love with living a healthy lifestyle and hope to do so in my late years of my life.
I don’t want to be held back by bone problems that I could have prevented.
Modern medicine is incredible and while there can be terrible side effects I can also take a lot of responsibility in the process.
I don’t have to explain myself or my decision or the emotions behind it and this is a time I don’t feel like doing so.
It’s been hard enough as it is. I’ve been emotionally drained and then throw everything else in the mix that has happened this weekend in my home town.
I have come to find the ones who know and love you will feel you and those who don’t will either ask or make assumptions.
I felt it was important to update all of you after my video and hope you can respect that 🙂
My goal is to be implementing the natural remedies and strategies I’m reading up on and learning while taking the Rx in an effort to maximize my potential when I come off of it.
The main reason for this Rx is hormone therapy. I don’t have near enough estrogen to protect my bones due to physical and likely life stress as well that tells my body, ‘hey, now's not a good time to reproduce, let’s shut this down. No estrogen for now thanks!’
(not muscle mass as was previously told I believe in miscommunication by the party not doing their diligence or trying to over simplify things)
but low body fat, high physical activity, nutrition, and life stress like school, business, this etc DOES play a role and is the main contributor.
Even as I am and have been making an effort to reverse this myself, as soon as these things pick up again, I would be back to square one and bones will be not so happy.
I am passionate about competing, living a healthy lifestyle, and improving myself.
I recognize that I could give up competing, heal this, and never take a pill but it would still take up a ton of time to rebalance out and I have to get ahead of this now so I don’t suffer later.
The lesser of two evils I suppose. Plus play and passion is my life enjoyment. What is life without it?
I don’t feel the need to explain myself beyond this and will leave it here.
Thanks everyone for all the love and support.
I’m releasing the need to meet everyone’s standards or make everyone happy and I am trying to just do what i feel Is best for me.
Let’s support each other on our unique journeys.
Thanks again for all the reach outs with messages, comments and a whole lot of energetic love.
BE IN LOVE WITH THE DARKNESS THE WAY YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH THE LIGHT
Thank you so much to everyone who reached out to me yesterday after sharing my health updates
I feel so incredibly blessed to have all the friends that I do and the connections I’ve made in person and online
I strive to be as real as possible always because I know how much transparency and vulnerability means to me
I also feel that sharing my journey is healing for myself and others. I am actually in a pretty happy space and have a hear full of hope
I’ve always been interested in natural healing modalities and as many of you know I’ve been doing a good amount in an effort to get my menstrual cycle back
I have some internal battles I must be willing to fight of course. But most importantly identities I must shed
It doesn’t mean they will be gone forever but it does mean I must loosen the reigns
I must begin shifting my identity statements and anchors as well
I am someone who has regular periods and healthy hormonal balances instead of I am someone who is in menopause, hasn’t had a period in 2 years&feels like shit bc the things i love/want most seem to be running away from me)
So much of myself is rooted in the identity of a competitor, or a person who takes everything on at once
It’s time to allow space for more shifts to occur.
I have to be more comfortable with my body seeking peace & know that it’ll find its way back to where I feel/function best eventually
And all I can do is control what I can. I am actually way more motivated now to treat and fuel my body with love
Because of the health implications it can have more so than the shape being the main motivator
I’d love to say I have it all figured out but I’m learning
And in all honesty, I love that I’ve been given this opportunity to learn, grow, and share
Whatever you’re going through, never forget your dreams are ACHIEVABLE and POSSIBLE!
While you may not be able to control the HOW you can always control the why, the effort, and the care along the way
Letting go of control so the rest can fall into place is the best thing you can do for yourself!
Create the space for healing and success
Letting the universe take care of the rest
I’M IN MENOPAUSE, yep, I am 21, in menopause, and here to tell you about my struggles with amenorrhea.
*video at bottom of blog, sorry it is vertical, I intended to post on IGTV but it is too long for that apparently!*
The past couple of days have been really rough for me. Actually, probably some of the roughest regarding my health and personal experiences regarding my own issues.
As many of you know, I stopped getting my period in 2015 after my first bikini competition to which I then had a terrible rebound, still never got my period until almost a year later. I thought I only got my period when I was above 135lbs.
Fast forward to 2017. No period. Again, contributed to competing; loads of exercise, stress on body, and deficit dieting. I was then prescribed progesterone which I took for 10 days and then restarted my period…barely.
I was still in comp mode. Within a year I did 5 bikini competitions. Never had my period but didn’t want to keep going back to the doctor because I figured they would do the same thing, I would start another prep, and then it would be this never-ending cycle.
Now I am back in an off season which is not set to a certain time because my coach told me what I needed to hear which was not to even think about prepping or competing again until this gets normalized. Ugh.
Back in the doctor. Back to the bloodwork. Back on Progesterone. This time? No period…Now what?
The Midwife who had been an intermediary between me and the doctors called and tells me the doctors reviewed my labs and have determined that I am essentially at the level of a woman in menopause and that if I didn’t do something about my low estrogen (which I was previously told was fine, maybe?) then I would continue losing bone mass and of course this could hurt my chances of ever having children.
I quote them on the cause, “The issue is that you have so much muscle mass that you are not producing estrogen…Of course this is a temporary condition, because of your muscle mass. If you develop more fat you will probably start having a normal cycle.” They then said to get estrogen in me, to fix all this, the easiest route is a BC pill.
I am stunned. I cry for at least an hour wondering if I will ever be able to have kids, which I have always wanted for as long as I knew that babies were a thing, and if I would ever be able to compete again which is my joy and love right now.
I was also left feeling quite hopeless because they want to take a pill I don’t want to take and which I have been adamant about avoiding forever.
I mean, 1st of all, I don’t even have close to as much muscle mass as I want, lol. 2nd of all, I have already gone up 8% body fat in 2 months, increased my calories and fat intake like crazy, and have been cutting back on exercise.
I am actually uncomfortable with the way I FEEL in my body (not the look as much) but literally how I feel, it is not comfortable but as my coach has supported me in this reminding me that it is part of the process and I need to focus on this and just be okay with it for now and doing any cuts wouldn’t be smart for multiple reasons.
So, at this point, I decide that I must take the pill since it is my only option to get the estrogen they want, without being over the top which I don’t want, but will also allow me to fix the issues at hand.
However, I had an ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday morning which I have since been told to cancel, I did so in a flurry but now I regret it. I have pills in my bathroom, no idea what the treatment plan really looks like, and a call scheduled with a doctor on Friday to discuss it all.
I do feel hopeful that I will get all my answers and pursue the best option for me. I will take the pill they prescribed if it is my only option, but I want to know what the goals are, and expected outcomes are first
I am blessed to be going through this struggle. I recognize that this will one day be more of my strength. And I consider myself very fortunate to have access to medical care, the ability to pursue my dreams, and the support of my family, boyfriend, coaches, and friends.
I will continue to keep you all posted.
Let this be a reminder to never assume that someone has everything perfectly sorted, or that they aren’t struggling. Always see people for who they are at a soul level before judging the changes in their appearance, actions, or goals.
I have already learned so much from this process that I couldn’t have learned otherwise. I recognize that life, emotions, and struggles all are like seasons; they come and go.
As souls, we can support each other in this human experience by talking about the things which make us most human. Be kind, be open, be loving, and be VULNERABLE. Share what you are going through to heal, teach, and grow.
I am here for you and hope you feel and know that on a deep level. Thank you for those of you who are always here for me too
Lots of love,
Guilt is an emotional response we have when we do things that are not aligned to the person we see ourselves to be.
If you steal, you will likely only feel guilty if you do NOT consider yourself a thief. Or if you make fun of someone and feel guilty it is likely because you do NOT identify yourself as a bully.
Essentially, you have acted in a way that doesn’t fit the mold or the definitional standard you have made your identity.
I just very openly discussed a lot of the struggles I have been having the last month with over eating, judgement, body dysmorphia, depression, anxiety, comparison, you name it on my most recent Instagram live video which you can watch HERE or scrolling to the bottom of this blog.
This has been a VERY rough month for me. But I’ve learned so much. It all has served a purpose for me and continues to as I choose to find the lesson in it all and take back control/responsibility.
This morning I set new intentions for the month, identified what my ideal self is like, and began to connect more with my beliefs and understandings of the world around me and what I actually want to live my life by...not what Instagram or any conditioning I’ve had has taught me as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ or I’ve formulated as ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’.
I’m not any more of a good person for eating on my plan just like I’m not a bad person if I don’t. I’m not defined by the food I eat as much as I am defined by the way I live my life. I don’t want to be depressed, anxious, or self-loathing just because my internal constructs tell me I ‘should’ be any other way.
I am a healthy person who loves herself, honors her soul, and nourishes her body with food, movement, and care. I am healthy because I can tune into my body and give myself what I need and want. I am healthy when I look in the mirror and see myself as I really am. I am healthy when I eat what I want without feeling guilty. I am healthy when I spend quality time with people. I am healthy when I recognize my needs. I am healthy when I stay true to my goals.
I am healthy and I am a work in progress. I am healthy because I choose to learn and grow. I am healthy because I see room for improvement and find ways to make it happen. I am healthy because I allow myself to be human; I feel all the emotions, I express myself, I can be rational and irrational, I am curious and opinionated.
I AM ME, I AM CELESTE, and I know my identity is one of love, acceptance, gratitude, and well-being. Therefore, I am doing just fine, I am proud of myself, and I am always BUILDING MORE THAN JUST A BODY. That is my mission in this world, my purpose, & my drive...to help others do the same by aligning inner work with physical results.
Taking care of your body comes more naturally when you really truly Love yourself, let’s focus on that first, above all else.
Would love to hear your thoughts...have you experienced guilt? For what? Are you currently? After reading this, do you see why you feel guilty? Let’s chat about it. Comment on my recent video or below so we can❤️
Hiii to all my current and new friends & followers! I want to take a moment to just say hi & tell you a lil bit about me/my page you’re now choosing to follow/give your time to whether it’s a quick scroll, story entertainment, or getting real & raw with me in my captions...
1st of all, thanks for being here. I have this page for so many reasons & one of the greatest of all is to connect with you amazing souls & truly inspire you to take action for the betterment of your life whether that’s through fitness, nutrition, self-love, or other forms of personal development, I’m happy to have you here & I hope you look forward to reading my posts as much as I love writing them for you!
Second, my intention is to always be 110% real/vulnerable with you. I do my best not to hide anything. I share my struggles, wins, & the lessons I learn. I will call bullshit on this industry but I’ll also celebrate it.
Third, some might say I’m a contradiction. I am a bikini competitor who loves bodybuilding but I also: don’t restrict myself like crazy prep self in the off season, I help people find food freedom/develop a healthy relationship with food, & I refuse to ever put drugs in my body despite how common / expected it is in this sport & industry.
Fourth, I’m passionate about everything I do & I surround myself w/ people who I truly love & appreciate. I stand up for what&who I believe in. I represent companies that I believe in & truly love/support. I won’t sell you anything I don’t think is useful, purposeful, or worth your money.
I make offers on my page to buy my programs, work with me, or even use some of the products I do...not just because its my livelihood but because it’s my heart & soul. When asked if I keep business & personal life separate the truth is I can’t & never will. I identify so strongly w/ the work I do because it’s my passion.
Finally, I am so grateful for the life I live. I’ve been able to go from depressed, anxious, & suicidal to in love with/responsible for my life. I turned my unhealthy relationship with food & my body into a positive & EVERevolving one (always consciously working on it).
I will always share more and be open moving forward as well but thought I’d write this to help you get to know me. I’d love to get to know you! Feel free to message me anytime and always welcome to interact on my posts, I love hearing your thoughts!😍❤️
MY REAL & RAW LIFE UPDATE: Treat Your Body Like the Enemy, and it Will ALWAYS work Against you, Treat Your Body Like your Ally and it will Always Work WITH You
Treat your body like the enemy, and it will always work against you. Treat your body like your ally and it will always work with you.
MY REAL & RAW LIFE UPDATE...
I have been learning so much after my most recent show and am still learning as I go. One thing that’s for sure is I have found so much peace in taking time every day to write or think up statements like this, formulate beliefs that serve me, and transform any loatheful thoughts into loving ones.
In order for me to be able to do what I love, my body has to begin functioning the way it’s meant to. If I don’t take care of myself with loving actions, thoughts, and belief patterns then it will not allow me to do what I love when I want to do it.
I need to start decreasing my cardio, upping my food intake, and recomping my body without going so far that I’m doing a cut that kills me heading into another show.
My body hasn’t had a menstrual cycle (period) in 2 years aside from one that was forced by my doctor with the prescription of progesterone for 10 days. This got my period to show up but then it was never to be found again lol. Even though this is pretty common and doesn’t necessarily mean problems for everyone, I still have to get it in check and my coach actually wants me to regulate it before I compete again.
Now imagine for one second, you haven’t had your period in 2 years, you’re already up 10 pounds from stage weight (and advised not to go too much more), you are told you also need to begin packing on Muscle and decrease cardio (which will cause a shift likely to create recomp which is good but can require lots of self loving thoughts w some fat gain that comes with it), oh and you want to compete in February but with the way your body is functioning you have to regain hope and belief that your period will come back and regulate, your body fat will not surpass muscle growth in a way that creates more struggle than progress, and all this must be managed in a matter of a few short months...
I am embracing this challenge as I go forward in my lifestyle and in my journey. More to come...more to share.
I’m learning to be more kind to myself, to be okay with the things I need to do, and begin treating what I have left untreated for so long. And reminding myself I am capable & everything is always working out as it’s meant to.
I am finally seeing my doctor on Tuesday to get an action plan in place for what i shared in my last post. I am realizing that putting off treatment could now have hindered my growth and opportunity moving forward. This is my reminder for EVERYTHING In life, especially with all of this... to do the damn thing, the damn thing you know, in fact, every damn thing, and once the damn things are done, KEEP GOING!
I have to accept what comes with the actions I NEED to take and take full responsibility knowing that if I don’t take them, I will only suffer the consequences moving forward.
Now, listening, honoring, and loving my body is taking on a whole new meaning. I’m letting go of shame, guilt, comparison, and pride when it comes to the way I look, and remembering that this is MY life...all of this is up to me...I can’t let the demons take control.
My mind needs so much TLC too, competing has been so much of my focus that after my last show a lot of my anxieties surfaced. I have decided to look for a therapist again since it’s been so long since I’ve seen mine and It helped me so much when I was depressed, suicidal, and anxious. There’s no shame in getting help!!! It’s better to acknowledge where help is needed than pretend things are ‘fine’ and eventually lose control / see it get worse...
Now I must be mindful, through all of this; I MUST LOVE IN ORDER TO HEAL AND I MUST HEAL IN ORDER GROW AND I MUST GROW IN ORDER TO LIVE MY DREAMS.
I feel the emotions, I feel them deeply, I still don’t have this all figured out. But I hope that by being real with you, you can see that I am human, I struggle, and I have to constantly address problems in my mind too...
What’s your favorite way to overcome challenge and stimulate growth mentally, physically, & emotionally? Let’s support each other💜
I think it’s time for me to share this...
I will be honest, I have hesitated to post this because I wanted it to be ‘the perfect moment/the perfect comparison’ but really, I had fears around what people might think of me.
What if they don’t want to hire me as a coach because I have a coach? What if they think I only started competing again to change my body? What if they don’t understand? What if they blah blah blah.
And what I have to remind myself is this; I AM SURROUNDED BY THE MOST AMAZING, LOVING, SUPPORTIVE SOULS! I attract the most awesome clients and people meant to work with me who feel called to WILL! I have the coolest followers and you guys are growing daily, i feel truly honored that i get to connect with you. And Coaches need coaches! Plus, I’m Not qualified to work for you just because of a transformation. I have knowledge, research, and perspective too which makes me an ideal coach for so many people!
So, I have to step up and finally share this out of respect for my mission and purpose of raising self love and helping others build more than just a body!
The top photos in the bikini posing are from June 2, 2017 (12 weeks out from the show that restarted it all for me) and the second pic photos are from May 10, 2017. In May I was weighing around 142-145 pounds consistently. I felt like my body didn’t represent who I was but that I had done so much personal development and healing of my body image, good relationship, and self love that I realized everything was about intention and I really wanted to compete again and felt ready to give it another go mentally / emotionally.
I didn’t start to compete this time out of self-loathe, I did it for the athlete in me who missed it and wanted to see what she could accomplish for herself again. That decision changed my life; now I can’t get enough of this sport. The lifestyle extremes I’ve been through are for another post but I really wanted to highlight this journey I’ve been on.
I have so much more to say and will be sharing very soon! But for now, I’m living and loving this life, pushing my body, and honoring my souls goals while ENJOYING and SAVORING every damn moment.
I decided to take measurements before my most recent show because the fact that we can literally mold, morph, & shape our body is INCREDIBLY EMPOWERING! Swipe to see those too!
To my coaches; thank you so much for always being here for me, guiding me and most importantly believing in me enough to push me to the next level day in and day out. I could not have done this without you, for always guiding me in my posing, being there to fill me with confidence and love, and making sure I look amazing for the stage. As well as creating so many opportunities for me. You’re both family to me ❤️
For information on my online self love, mindset, and fitness coaching please send me a DM💞😌
Last Saturday’s Competition was one of, if not the most, fun & fulfilling shows I have ever done. I felt different than I’ve ever felt at a show or on stage.
It’s always interesting to me how everyone wants to know or cares more about how you place after a show versus how you feel. When people ask me how the show went I tell them it was amazing & the BEST most muscular and conditioned I’ve ever looked & i had NEVER been happier on stage or with my journey in this sport.
Then they ask how i placed & it hits me that to me, it goes so much further than surface level fulfillment & it always will. Yes, I knew I earned my placing. But beyond that, this sport gives me so much more than awesome trophies/medals as I’ve shared countless times before.
I am so grateful to be ending this season on a high note knowing I have given everything I could + more. I have been developing my physique & making adjustments with the coaching & support of Team EDGE
This last weekend I brought my best physique I’ve ever brought which is the best reward I can experience as an athlete. Placing top 3 at this show was an honor with such a competitive class with amazing women & my coach reminded me that this is a huge accomplishment & that I DO have a competitive physique.
I spoke with my coach Joe DiScuillo yesterday & he helped me put more into perspective as I reflected on the outcome of the weekend, my goals in the sport & the industry of fitness specifically, as well as where my head is at.
We both know I have time on my side & since I’m in no rush, it can only benefit me moving forward as it really is about the lifestyle & embracing/LOVING every moment of this beautiful journey!
I’m going to take the remainder of the year to build & improve so I can step on stage again in 2019! As many of you read in my last reflection post, I have become a new person & In life, we are all seeking personal/self fulfillment I am open to achieving & receiving that in any way it presents itself. I am forever grateful for the support of my coaches, family, friends, teammates, clients, & followers. Life is so exciting❤️😭
|Celeste Rains-Turk; Celestial_Fit International and Building More than Just a Body||