Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
@dennisjamesclassic was an amazing show!
I feel so incredibly fulfilled after this weekend!
The absolute best part was the genuinely incredible connection I had with so many of the amazing athletes and my friends.
The support I felt was overwhelming and every intention I set as far as fulfillment in heart was met.
I left feeling so much gratitude and excitement. I felt like I could go to bed knowing my why has been and is consistently fulfilled.
As far as How I did, I’m proud of the improvements made in a short period of time.
I couldn’t be more grateful for my coach @seeyoulaterleaner who was there for me day in and day out, supportive, thoughtful, deliberate in every decision with educational insight, and so on top of his game.
Not to mention passionate and genuine... I know that over the next 5 weeks we will only continue to dial in my best yet.
I never felt better going into a show. It’s no wonder I felt so damn good coming out of it.
Already was able to crush today and feel so much fire in my belly to be better because I want to achieve my goals and I just haven’t gotten where I want to yet.
This doesn’t mean I have any doubts I will though. I know my time will come.
For now, seeing these videos and photos is soooo rewarding because I felt much more relaxed, poised, and confident up there than my last show this season which is a win for me mentally and physically but I know I have much more to give. I received 4th in my open class & while i was hoping for more i know that i need to earn it & I respect the placing & am inspired to be better.
Thank you to those of you who came out to support and all of you who show love every day in this journey.
I have an amazing support in my family, Robbie, my gym crew, friends,
Team, and this entire community and so many of the amazing women i met backstage or at athletes meeting but didn’t get any pictures with- you all made this experience even more awesome.
THANK YOU. THIS SPORT IS MY LOVE BECAUSE I GET TO #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY
We have been recovering into this show with increase in food and reduction of cardio.
I feel healthy and happy and unstoppable.
It’s like a whole new beginning. I have no doubt this will be my best look to date and the kickstart to an incredible season that’s underway.
I’ve been prepping since November and prior to that took a year to build.
Finally I’m seeing what I built and work to push come through.
It’s rewarding and empowering.
Competing in bodybuilding is not about the vanity or the titles or anything surface level.
For me it is and always will be to #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY and represent, promote, and uplift others mental health through this journey.
This is a sport that tests and challenges you 365.
If you are willing to face it head on and come to terms with your shortcomings every day so you can be better, and then you do the work to be better, you will succeed.
Especially if success to you is about progression and showing up for yourself.
You deserve to believe in yourself and to feel like you’re a damn champion because you champion for yourself.
5 days out from the Dennis James Classic in Scottsdale, AZ!
Daydreaming about this upcoming weekend while enjoying all this prep continues to bring my life. I’m so proud of the work I’ve done, changes made, and growth that’s occurred. Nothing can be more fulfilling than that!🤗👊🏻🎊
Thank you all for your continued support in my journey. I’m so blessed to have such kind, empowering, thoughtful family, friends, and “followers” (I don’t think that’s a great word for it, feels off, you guys are more than that to me — anyone have a better word?)
So Much love, let’s kill the week❤️👊🏻
The plan is to do a show in 13 days and then start getting shredddddyyy for national show(s)🤩🎉
I’m very open to plans changing or adjusting because i want to bring my best!
After my last show which was far from what i wanted to bring, i feel soooo much more confident in what’s coming next and want to be sure to show my last self upppppp.
I’ve been prepping since November and no plans to stop anytime soon.
I have goals to achieve, lessons to learn, and I’ve got a lot to give because I have been blessed with the most amazing support in my life literally everywhere I turn!
I couldn’t be more thankful to my body for supporting me in this sport that I love that requires so much.
And to be in a place mentally where I’m stable, growing, and seeing new areas for me to focus on and give myself some TLC for healing.
It’s really a revolutionary process every prep.
The deep transformation that occurs well beyond what can be seen on surface level is priceless.
I’ve learned to identify challenges as opportunities and wins as evidence for continued application.
I’m showing up fully in all the different areas of my life and accomplishing a lot.
I can be and am proud of myself.
I know I am doing what I can with the priorities I have and I feel very at peace with the process.
Always with the main focus being to #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY
The bracelet on my arm was a gift from my mom.
My mom gave it to me in hopes I would wear it on stage, so I did.
It didn’t fit very well, too big, and I had to use a safety pin to tighten it but it was important to me to wear this.
Losing her was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.
Many days I can still get caught up in the dark reality that I’ll never see her again and all the memories we have are all we ever will have.
Some days & situations are harder for me than others & I’m often caught off guard by some.
Leading into this competition I broke down & cried thinking about her.
I felt emptiness, there was a void only she could fill & the weight of knowing it would never be filled left me feeling a bit hopeless.
I sometimes feel like I’m in this black hole reaching up for her hand thinking she will peek out from somewhere & pull me out.
It all hit me at once as I got closer to stepping on stage knowing I haven’t had her for this prep & wouldn’t have these moments to share with her like I used to.
It was harder than anticipated.
I was hoping to feel my mom’s energy on stage, but I didn’t which is a whole other can of worms I’ve not yet opened & processed personally yet.
I write so openly about my experiences in hopes to bring peace to others who may feel that their darkness is unique to them.
I will say, having this bracelet was a reminder for me through the day that she would be proud of me no matter what, she would want me to celebrate my journey & all I’ve overcome no matter the outcome, she would see nothing but the positives in me while also being incredibly grounding & honest which I felt was the strength I needed for this show & could borrow from her.
I realized that while she won't ever be the one to pull me out of things in the physical world, she is part of me.
And she gave me my sister & my dad.
I can’t help but think others who have crossed paths with me in this journey were also due in part to her looking over me, knowing who or what I needed & when.
I see my mom in myself, others, & the world.
I am choosing to attribute meaning which is positive, healing, & supportive for my life that is worth living fully.
Day 1 of working with @seeyoulaterleaner is in the books and I couldn’t be more excited and happy!!!!
Adam transformed my hormone health a couple years back, blew my mind when I interviewed him on my podcast each time he came on, and has been very supportive since we connected
Working with Adam was a very well thought out decision but not a hard one
I’ve loved watching all his YouTube videos, I have admired many of his athletes, and reading his posts
It was incredibly difficult for me to leave my previous coaches because they’d become like family to me over the last five years but it was time for me to make a change and I’m so glad adam could take me on!
I have no doubt that under his guidance I’ll achieve all my goals and more
I have a lot to learn and embrace but the commitment to follow through has not wavered
I am excited about all the new data, training style, full macro approach, and the super in depth tracking being done
I feel this approach is exactly what I need at this point in my journey
I am stepping into the next level version of myself as an athlete that has been calling for me and I was finally prepared to answer. The best is yet to come!
I am so blown away by the Amazing amount of support & love this community shares with me everytime I compete & genuinely just daily throughout the journey. I’m really grateful To all of you
I want to express my sincere gratitude to @teamedge1 for all their support & guidance over the years & I want to thank @ingridromero1 for the amazing suits I get to wear on stage. Your generosity is boundless
I want to thank my boyfriend @robbiethelifter for being the most encouraging, patient, loving, empowering, understanding man through all my amazing days & all my horrible days. Next to myself, he probably sees the most of what I’ve been & go through & i can imagine it’s certainly not always easy to be my bf given so many facets of my life but he always shows up for me with a smile which I just can’t be more thankful for
Thank you to my sister @graceeeeee3 for being my calm & my courage. Through everything we have been through, you get & see me & encourage me in ways i cannot put in words (it’s much better as a feeling anyway)
You & dad are driving factors for me every day when i wake up & think of you both & how much your love & acceptance means to me
Dad, thank you for believing in me since the start, Im sure you never imagined the conversation in your office almost a decade ago about me getting a trainer would turn into this one day!
Thank you to my bestie @creation_movement & her fiancé Brian for having us at your home. I wanted to compete at this show so we could have a fun weekend together & it’s been nothing short of awesome so far. Rachael, your support day in & day out no matter how many times we have the same conversation about my competition things is so genuinely valued
I would also like to shout out my incredible friends & also my gym family in AZ. Every day was made better by the encouragement of you all
Thank you so much to @spectrumfitnessproductions@musclecontest for making this show happen. I had a fantastic experience & will be back soon
Yesterday I placed 2nd out of 2 competitors in my class. So technically got what I went for which was an NQ but I plan to bring more conditioning to the next show
More to come in future post!
July 22 I’ll be at the @bombshell_news Bomicon event in Las Vegas (bomicon.com) on food relationship, body image, identity & goals, & mental health for athletes
August 6 I’ll be in New York speaking at a business seminar @online_supercoach
September 15-18 @teambossbodies will be having me at their fitness retreat in Daytona Beach which is open to competitors & non competitors. There will be intimate breakouts with me to cover all things mental game 🤩 you can sign up for that now at teambossbodies.com/retreat
Then @hollyfitatfifty_ifbbpro is planning an event in Denver on October 15th for women (outside of the competition world) for me to speak to about food relationship, body image, mindset, life!! You can DM us for details too as we plan this
Next up I’ll be hosting an event with @lexiemait in the fall which is gunna be AWESOME for competitors mixing build more than just a body with Lexie's knowledge of nutrition, fitness, prep, & lifestyle & more for athletes!
Then rounding out the year with an epic week leading into the Olympia with @teamelitephysique where he will be hosting different contributors at the contest prep center to come & share insight & IO'm so grateful to plan a little something something there ;) more details to come
I am also putting final touches on my very own Psychoeducation support group and mastermind for athletes that will begin in January (enrollment will start this fall!) if you want more info specifically on this group, feel free to visit celestial.fit & fill out the link on the home page.
You can be notified of speaking engagements or events I am hosting by visiting www.celestial.fit/liveevents
Pic from leading somatic mindfulness exercises at the @angelcompetitionbikinis fashion show expo!
I’ve definitely had doubts and worries and fears come in and out of my head knowing I’ll be back on stage on Saturday!
I find the battle to combat them has been harder this time than before.
Maybe because my expectations or the season ahead or hopes or because I’ve poured so much into this every day even through the darkest times of my life.
I must remember what defines me the most is my commitment and efforts and I’ve executed day in and day out which is what matters most.
After checking in today, I felt really good.
And I have a LOT to be excited about beyond the show this Saturday.
And even more to be proud of myself for.
Yesterday I cried thinking about how last year around this time I was really contemplating what all of “this” was really for after I lost my mom.
But I kept showing up for the happier future version of myself and the version of me that set this goal and dream in motion and said to herself “no matter what”.
I have worked so hard to build something better than my last.
This next show will be an amazing experience and I can’t wait to see what all the rest of the shows over the next 11 weeks brings.
I’m hoping to do 1-2 more before USAs.
I have so many things I can’t wait to share with you guys too!
This has been a HUGE mental prep for me beyond any before.
From big decisions, to body being different, to what I mentioned before, just a LOT on top of continuing to progress in my masters program and my business.
The theme I am realizing I must reinforce to myself is to be proud, be grateful, be kind, and have fun.
Not every show will be exactly what you expect and some shows you might prove yourself wrong.
So Believing in myself regardless of the critical voice in my head is important.
I know that voice serves a purpose and has helped me push, grow, evolve, learn…I also know the difference between bullying myself or supporting myself effectively with encouragement and realism.
It’s even easier to do this with the amazing support I have around me.
This sport, this journey, everything I’ve done since I started “fitness” has been to #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY
I’ll be doing the @spectrumfitnessproductions@musclecontest contra costa 🤗
I can’t imagine not doing this! Every part of this lifestyle has become habitual. To think about not participating in it feels so foreign.
It may not always be as extreme or demanding but the commitment to my goals doesn’t waiver.
I am grateful to be on this pursuit!
I remember when I first started, all I wanted were lines on my stomach and smaller legs.
I would use really unhealthy and disordered ways to get this and I was constantly in a state of criticism. Nothing was ever good enough.
Now it’s years into this journey and I have so much acceptance of myself, of the idea that there will never be perfection, and that I will continue to grow and learn.
I want muscle and density and size and shape and if sometimes my stomach has lines and sometimes it doesn’t it doesn’t mean I am any less or should hide!!
I love my legs now and I have grown my upper body and I am stronger.
I don’t participate in disordered eating and I more effortlessly and automatically combat negative and old thought and behavior patterns.
It is not because I decided to work on myself for a day or a few weeks or a month or even a year.
It’s because I recommit to myself every day and keep showing up so what once required extreme effort to change now happens more automatically.
I made a new normal for myself and so can you.
If you’re looking for resources I have tons to support you through the mental demands that building this lifestyle can have.