Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Taking time off has allowed me to find where my happiest mediums are
I’ve figured out what making a lifestyle out of all of this means for me right now
And that’s the other thing
Not based on what I expected, wanted, or where I thought I would have been.
But literally based on the present
I spent a good 2.5 months just being mad about my situation for being forced into a longer off-season
“This doesnt happen to other girls and they’re leaner than me”
“I just want to step on stage again and now this will change things”
“Why can’t I stay as lean, get more muscular faster, have my health remain while lower bf %”
Etc etc etc🤕
I was in my head so much because of all the plans I had made that I could no longer commit to
But I found peace, happiness, and true freedom when I released the attachment to those previous desires
Sure, I thought I’d be competing by this time, but I’m not and I’m far from it
But I also see that this is EXACTLY what I needed
Sometimes we think we are going in the direction that’s right for us until we are forced in a new direction and realize THAT is what’s best for us
Of course, being able to find the positive in everything helps a lot too☀️
Grateful for this time, energy, space, and growth period
So much to expand on and continue to do in my life and improving for next time I do get up on stage
If you find yourself beating yourself up for not being where you wanted to be, thought you’d be, or hoped you’d be, reevaluate what is happening in the here and now
Find the magic, the miracles, and the meaning
When you do that you’ll realize there was way more for you to gain from being here than going there would have ever brought you
This is loving yourself when it’s painful & confusing which makes it extra real / satisfying
Rather than trying to force yourself in a hole where you “should have been” you now make peace with the present
“You are on the right path because you are on your path”-front of graduation card my grandpa got me that is absolutely shockingly perfect for my life philosophy❤️😭
Want to make peace w/ yourself now? Send me an email to see if / how I can help you💜
It's All Perspective, We can Define Anything, Even Ourselves; a Recent Check-In Photo I debated on sharing and Why
I’ve gone back and forth on posting this but then I kept finding myself looking at it & decided I would!
I’m really proud of myself and this body and want to show more of it even at this stage now 🙂 and I’m especially excited to see how my posterior chain has changed over these 6.5 months of killin them😎
This was my most recent check in photos I sent to my coach last Friday and I’ll be taking them weekly for a bit
I really like my shape right now and have been loving that I look in the mirror and just feel soooo confident!
This is despite the fact that I don’t have as many lines and cuts as I’d like, but it’s just not the time and place for that right now
Even though I am 30+ pounds up from my last stage weight and my body fat % is much higher, the distribution of my weight hasn’t been too bad and I feel great!
Right now we are doing weekly check-ins because my coach is super conscious of my health and how my body responds right now
I’m really committed to the plans he is giving me because it is very important to me that we learn what works for my body so I can have a successful prep moving forward & create longevity that I want
(why would I rush something I love?)
There’s really no set “goal” right now other than exactly that, just see how my body responds and to what then we can look at all the plans I’ve tentatively set 🤣
My body has been through a lot and honestly, there’s absolutely no need for me to justify or explain any of it
I’m over that at this time
We are all on our own unique lil journeys and everything we are going through and experiencing is perfect for us right now
I’ve learned from, conquered, and overcame many battles that originated in my mind
Because everything we face is really a blessing no matter how painful it is and how little we want to be facing it
It’s in our power to give these experience power. The good and the bad.
Someone might think a bird is annoying in the morning and others love to listen to their singing upon waking
It’s all perspective. It’s all what you make it to be.
And the best part is we get to define ourselves too😊❤️🙌🏻
To say I miss this would be an understatement but to say I’m ready for it would be a lie
Prep is a full-time commitment and although it is not extremely different from my ‘normal’ day to day life, it’s just a different level of investment
I don’t take prep lightly and I feel this mentality is harmful for some but helpful for me
By seeing prep as a serious commitment, I then feel personally More responsible to take it more seriously
Which is probably why I am able to be 110% in and have never struggled to follow the plan perfectly
Why then am I not ready to recommit to a prep?
Well it’s crazy because mentally, in regard to food and my body I’m in one of the best places I’ve ever been
Really the perfect place to start a prep from given it would be out of pure love and passion for the sport and my goals not for the physique changes
But my body is not in a place to prep again YET!
I also am soooo happy bc this year my family is taking some trips together and it’s been so long since we have done that so I feel super blessed and grateful for what’s to come
While I can prep when traveling, it’s not my fav thing to do. I prefer to be a hamster in a wheel on prep. I don’t want any new variables comin in. Blinders on
I made a post to update more on what’s goin on right now and what my goals are that I’ll share tomorrow.
Honestly though, people who love the stage but can’t get off it won’t win like the people who love the stage yet know when it’s time to walk off for a bit and make positive changes
I have full belief that my time will come again and I believe even stronger that my body will support me along the way
I believe that my best is yet to come and is coming because of what I’ve been through and where I’m at now
I see every aspect of this as a gift & a choice
There’s a picture I took after my show in 2017 that I snapped to some of my Snapchat bffs & it included “I feel like myself again”
This sport didn’t cause my problems, it just revealed the problems that I already had and those that I am capable of solving
What’s something this sport or a passion has taught you? I’d love to hear
One of the highlights of the speaking engagements I do at the Online Supercoach events in NY are these amazing signed frames
My mission is always to make an impact whenever I go to speak.
To be able to see it on paper, reconnect to it anytime I’m feelin bleh, and using it to anchor deeper into my purpose is so priceless to me
I’m excited to be cohosting an event in San Diego with AJ Camila Fandino and Rachael Takesaka for boss ladies who want to step into their power as the female leader they are meant to be, connect with other amazing women, and learn tools and knowledge to implement in your own business!
You can sign up / get more info by visiting: https://lifefuel.lpages.co/san-diego-event/
Hope to see you there 😊❤️
I Was So Ashamed of Myself
After I got back from working a booth at the Olympia I found myself going back to old habits
➡️comparing myself to other athletes
➡️feeling like I had to work off or justify anything extra
➡️completely skewing the way I looked in my mind to be much worse than reality
➡️focusing on the numbers
➡️wanting to control EVERYTHING
➡️letting other people’s judgments get to me
➡️not giving myself any grace
➡️feeling SUPER ashamed that I had ‘gone backwards’
I knew I had to do something about it
One of the things I teach the competitors I work with is to identify their triggers
For me, & many of the women I’ve talked to, these are a lot of common ones
It was crazy to me though because I thought I “solved” my problems with food
I quickly remembered it has to be a conscious daily choice.
When I was in prep I just followed the plan, so I didn’t have to even think about it
But when you step into a new identity of “off season mode” with entirely different goals & some serious things to sort through
It doesn’t always work like that
I went back to what I knew about food freedom. I thought about what I’ve helped my clients with. I remembered what I did in 2015-2017 to overcome these behaviors
But I applied it to myself as a competitor who truly wants to continue to compete & be damn good
I was able to see where & why these patterns were coming up, what identity I needed to live in to feel better about myself & food, & I HAD to set new goals & standards that spanned well beyond a show day, a photo shoot, or an event
The only way I could release myself from the grips & pain of these behaviors was to let go of control, redefine my needs, & MAKE PEACE with where I was at
Since then, I haven’t had any binges, I haven’t compared my off season to anyone else’s, & I absolutely love the way I look
THIS is a healthy place to not just live from but also prep from
I think most competitors are only living up to a quarter of their true potential.
To truly feel fulfilled and excited by this journey in ways unimaginable peace, fulfillment, and gratitude all have to be found internally before they can be rewarded / represented externally
Last year I was able to keep going and going because I had spent Dec2015-April2017 making peace and being at peace with who I was and where I was
I’ll have longevity in this sport because I work ON myself before I work for anything else
Want to start making peace with your body, food and your goals?
Click HERE to sign up for my free 7 day coaching series! See you there😍
Some feedback from my last show was to come in “more conditioned with separation in the abdominals”.
Took this photo moments before leaving for show day fun and a second coat of tan
(Peep the sheets covering ALL the hotel furniture lmaooooo looks kind of creepy actually but gotta do what you gotta do)
I have been working my abs consistently over the months off stage and way more so the past 2 months
I’ve never had blocky abs but have always had the side and mid lines w lil dimple lookin things on the abs hahaha
I’m really committed to putting on more muscle and having a solid base to prep from
I’m excited to see how I’ve developed over the past few months and I’m looking forward to continuing to develop muscle for the coming months
No set competition plans right now other than figuring out what type of program my body is going to respond to
I am working closely with my own coach to make sure we find what’s right for me
In the meantime...💪🏻🧠🥩🍚 😴repeat
On another note: some people think it’s strange to train according to another persons feedback.
But honestly, I love the look of the bikini division and the judges know what to look for.
If they have feedback for me, I’m going to take it because I want to look more and more like the best of em
If I didn’t like the look of the division I’d either stop competing or find a new league.
But my hearts in the NPC now and I got big visions and goals
What do you think?
One of the SCARIEST things I’ve ever done...
A year ago I quit my day job to work for myself full time and it was one of the most freeing (yet scary) things I’ve ever done for myself
I loved my jobs but working multiple jobs, running my own business, and being a full-time student, while also prepping for my bikini comps was just crazy
I couldn’t go ALL in for myself in my business the way I needed to to make the impact I am committed to
I stood up in front of a room of people (who I’d just spoken in front of) & promised to put my two weeks in
I wrote it while waiting for my flight to board & legit almost missed my flight from NY to CA 😰
I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want anyone’s limiting beliefs or opinions to get in the way of me following my souls calling & true need at the time
Once it was done I slowly put the word out and the responses were mixed but I knew what was best for me
From there I launched my podcast, found my true niche that I love so so so much and just want to serve at the highest level and know I’m meant to be here to help, improved my wellbeing and way of life, and found a happiness I didn’t truly truly realize I could just “decide to have” until I did😍
When I was growing up (lol I’m still 22 and feel like I’m experiencing serious growing pains rn) my parents told me the best thing to do is what you love🙌🏻
I never ever did anything I didn’t love. I lived by this belief that I could make a living, be happy, & change the world by doing what I was meant to do
It’s not always easy
Sometimes I question if I’m crazy & should go back to a “regular” job
Running my own business is really intense. But it’s taught me so so much and I’m always learning
Every once in awhile I think I might just barge into big buildings and take them over (idk why lol)
Often times I cry soooo intensely about the pains i want to heal in the world which lights my fire even more
The best part?
I wake up with this smile every day &
I look forward to every task on my to do list because there was a time in my life I was longing to just be doing more for my mission so now I don’t take a single thing for granted
What’s your big dream? What’s stopping you?
Ohhhh boy do I miss competing!
I’ve fallen in love with every aspect of this sport. It’s a commitment day in and day out to be better than before.
When I lift weights it’s not just to show up and workout.
It’s to be conscious about every movement, every contraction, every damn lift.
When I eat food it’s not just a matter of putting a meal together.
It’s being meticulous about how much, when, and why I need it
Every time I pose it’s not just about going through the motions.
It’s seeing the angles, learning more about my body, and allowing my posing to transform as I transform as a person.
Sleep is not just about hoping to get enough rest for the next day.
It’s finding ways to capitalize on it to grow and recover
Even drinking water isn’t to be taken lightly. It’s measured, specific, and has a purpose
And the most important of all? The mindset. Every thought about my body, my food, my goals matters.
Journaling, visualizing, and stepping into my highest identity every day is KEY to making everything else MEAN something deeper than surface level
Every supplement, every check in, every thought, every meal, every workout, every rest day, every nights sleep, EVERYTHING
It all works together to create a new version of ourselves.
And if we can’t commit to growth in every area, then we are shorting ourselves.
To execute perfectly on all the physical work without consistently building ourselves up as a soul, as a human, as a mind;
It would be like having a computer without a monitor; useless...
BUILD. MORE. THAN. JUST. A. BODY❤️💪🏻🧠
👆🏻That is my mission, my purpose, my commitment, To help other people do exactly that🧠
⚒still building muscle⚒
My body has been through so much over the last 6-7 months let alone nearly 2 years.
It’s amazing how much having passion or excitement for something can keep us pushing for more
I have really fallen in love with competing and miss the stage and grind of prep a lot!
But at the same time, I had other things to sort out that would ultimately allow me to come back even better
I feel super amazing about myself, my body, and the way I’m living.
I have goals in mind and I am doing what I need to do to get there
Sometimes things are out of our control but consistent effort to the big Vision and the willingness to shift gears will ultimately be better than just surrendering to it as though it’s our reality forever
Today I’m in an interesting place. I can’t seem to put words to what I want to express to you all
There’s so much on my mind about how I feel, what I want to say, things I’m thinking about that I know could be beneficial for others
And yet I can’t express it right now
I’ve tried typing this caption out numerous times only to fall short of what I imagined
Which tells me I have even more to learn from it all.
I think this is a great opportunity to just say hey, hi, how are you I hope you’re all doing well!! Also hope you’ve have had an amazing end to the first quarter and beginning to the second one
I have been running again which feels pretty refreshing.
My workouts have been super rewarding.
My mindset work is on point and makes me feel sooooo grounded and good
My nutrition is consistent and nourishing
My biz has so many exciting things happening :)) Just really trying to trust soooo much more right now that everything is happening as it’s meant to be
What are you focused on for the next 3 months?
What’s exciting you the most?
How are you feeling about yourself and ability to make things happen?
Are you ready to truly receive all of your goals as accomplishments?
Would love to hear from you guys ❤️
Same Shirt, New Shoulders😯💪🏻
I posted the picture on the left in 2014 celebrating shoulder gains (yes, believe it or not) & took this pic on the right maybe in January this year to capture them!
FIVE YEARS APART
I think in the right pic I’m around 25 pounds heavier too! Prob from all the mental gains tbh 😜
Takeaway: BUILDING MUSCLE TAKES TIME!!! Okay before I get sappy, let’s get real, building muscle, as a natural female athlete is no joke.
Even under PERFECT circumstances. And this is flexed! I still have a ways to go!
Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in what still needs work that we don’t recognize how far we have come. You’ve heard it!
Shoulders have ALWAYS been a major focus on growing for me.
When I first started my journey into fitness I was still a volleyball player and had constant shoulder pain and couldn’t risk training them before a practice or game day!
So I only trained them 1 or if I was lucky, 2x/wk! Now I train em 2-3x weekly!
I could legit outline every practical thing I did between these photos but we’d be here forever.
But the truth is, like we are different, so are our own bodies.
Sometimes my body responds well to one stimuli for a solid 4 months then mixing it up, I reap better results. We are ever evolving!
A transformation photo does absolute zero justice to the process and real transformation of lifestyle & internal mind that must occur to make this transformation happen
I turned toxic relationships with myself, food, & my body into healthy, loving, & fulfilling ones😍
I also became educated in training and got certified, studies clinical nutrition & dietetics for most of my associates & almost a year in a bachelors program before switching to Psychology
I invested a lot of time & energy into treating myself like a guinea pig & learning new things
There’s a lot of habits, rituals, and people to thank for contributing to the growth I’ve had on all levels
I’ve experienced the worst and the best of it all. But I’m grateful for all of it.
I’m a whole different person between then & now
Do everything with Purpose, passion, & persistence!
Apply HERE for my online fitness, mindset, self-love, & or food freedom coaching❤️😊
Can’t wait to help you get there😍