blog image

Coping with Loss

February 27, 20232 min read

This audio is my mom singing one of her favorite songs of all time, Amazing Grace, acapella. She had such a beautiful voice & loved singing

She sang her entire life, even professionally

In 2015 she died on the table in the hospital & truly by the grace of God was saved to be with us for another 6 years. Her time in the hospital was tumultuous in 2015 for many reasons

One of the hardest things was watching her have to rest from singing after having had tubes down her throat for weeks on end

She had this audio on her phone recorded as she gained her confidence & stamina in singing back. She never stopped trying. I saw the toll it took on her bc to my mom, EVERYTHING was a song!

2 years ago today I collapsed to the floor as I heard of the traumatic sudden loss of my mom

There is no adjective that could ever describe the pain. There are no words that I think could ever share the story of my mother in a way that truly honors all that she was. This has been a rough go around for me this year without her

Some days lately have been absolutely brutal for me emotionally as I yearn for my mothers physical presence. I know people say she is with me always and I can talk to her but it doesn’t make up for what I’ve lost and what my family has endured

Not having my mom in my life anymore is something I have to wake up and face every day

Sometimes it’s a nagging pain other times a quick sharp pain and most days a dull pain I’ve come to live with. The hardest part is knowing she won’t be there for anything anymore I know it’s my love living on

I loved her wisdom, our laughs together, & our daily (most days multiple times) phone calls and texts. I’m grateful to somehow still remember how her skin felt and the knuckles of her fingers and how they progressed over her wedding ring and her hands

I had countless nights with her at the side of my bed holding my hand or playing with my feet or just falling asleep next to me

I cherish those memories

Although making sense of her death and sharing it one day may never be the reality, I know I can honor her life and how she lived by doing right by her

She empowered me in every way imaginable

I know she’s singing in heaven💜

Celeste Rains-Turk

Back to Blog

Celeste Rains-Turk; Celestial_fit

Let's Build More than Just a Body


Privacy Policy