What are the “shoulds” in your life?
I ask my clients this as a way of identifying how this common cognitive distortion is impacting their life
Usually it comes with other distortions like all or nothing thinking, labeling, overgeneralizing, or double standards
By identifying the shoulds you have in your life, you can identify limiting belief patterns, unnecessary pressure, as well as false stories
& when you see those things, you increase your awareness & can be in a better position to eliminate “shoulds” & focus energy more on what “is” now
Examples could include;
...be on prep by now
...weigh less than I do
....wake up earlier
...be more disciplined”
While we are not to label these as “good” or “bad” we need to shift our thinking
If something you think you “should” be doing is coming from a negative belief pattern, comparison, bias, or something that doesn’t really align with you or your values, it won’t serve you in a healthy, empowering, or fulfilling way
Write down all your “shoulds”, then ask yourself:
WHY DO I THINK I SHOULD DO THIS?
WHERE DID THIS BELIEF COME FROM?
WHAT IS STOPPING ME FROM SATISFYING THIS SHOULD?
IS IT A REALISTIC EXPECTATION FOR MYSELF GIVEN MY CURRENT GOALS, LIFE CIRCUMSTANCE, & PHASE? WHY or WHY NOT?
WHAT WOULD BE A MORE POSITIVE EXPECTATION OR STANDARD I CAN SET FOR MYSELF NOW?
HOW AM I PREPARED TO MEET THIS STANDARD WITHOUT SELF-SABOTAGE, NEGATIVE PATTERNS RESURFACING, or REGRESSION?
Let me know if you explore & implement those exercise!
I love walking my clients through my methods since I am a 3rd party which allows me to block their bias & dig deeper when necessary
Plus with my background in personal development & psychology, I‘m really good at helping others discover their own answers
& pursuing my MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling has reinforced even more powerful methods to do so
Last night I did a Workshop for my clients & On-Demand Mindset Platform Members on Trusting That You Can Get the Results you Want where I break down my process for this
Following it can help eliminate self pressure & shoulds
Want access to the training?
Join the On-Demand Mindset Coaching Platform HERE