I can honestly say I am so proud of myself
Old thought patterns & versions of me have presented themselves multiple times since reentering a reverse diet / improvement / covid interim season
I have had to mindfully implement & practice much of what I preach, believe in, & know is necessary to change the narrative & maintain my commitment to honoring myself
The disordered eating behaviors of my past saying 'have a bunch of xyz & especially when no one is around’ but that’s an OLD pattern
The self-loathing version of me has come up indiscreetly questioning if I’m really allowed to feel this good about myself or if I should sabotage my success
But for every old pattern I’ve had, there is a stronger & more available combating neural pathway that steps in & says ACTUALLY__
I’ve been repeating to myself, especially in moments where I want to slow down or take it easier or give in to the old selves, “I am worthy of the results I have created”
A lot of times self-sabotage is not a will power issue but a worth issue
If you don’t believe you are worthy of your happiness, confidence, peace of mind, or healthy nourishment in any form then your brain will encourage you to find homeostasis
Meaning, if you think one way about yourself but act in another, it throws the brain out of balance which some psych theories would suggest is absolutely undesirable & therefore we experience things like cognitive dissonance, guilt, shame, anxiety...
What we really are seeking is alignment between our current living self & our ideal self
But it’s not always so simple because if it was then you would have a new ideal self or a new self-actualizing ideal to achieve
We are always in a state of growth & development & you have the power within you to make your reality that of your desired reality!
I personally had to accept & embrace this as my new normal, new start point, & something I deserve so I can continue my progression!
I reflect on how far I’ve come, the mental challenges I’ve beat throughout my life, & the commitments I’ve made to myself
Regardless of standards, criteria, or goals outside of myself; I still deserve what I want & so do you!
BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY