I was talking with a client the other day and she was sharing how nice it was to not feel so judgmental of herself or her thoughts and struggles anymore
She began to feel at ease knowing that part of being human means experiencing emotions, challenges, or having old parts of ourselves resurface
I was so happy to hear this because she truly sounded at ease about it knowing that she was more prepared to and equipped to handle any challenges when they arose
Rather than embodying this hurried energy of ‘fix it’ and ‘get rid of it’ she took on this ‘I got this’ ‘I am ready for anything’ ‘I am more prepared now than ever’ type of mindset that allows her to face potential issues rather than run from them or distract from them when they come up only for them to amplify or get worse
A big part of this is having a toolbox of resources, knowledge, experiences, beliefs, and action steps that can be applied in all these possible scenarios
Before this, she felt weak for needing the toolbox and a bit ashamed that she was struggling with her relationship with food or needing to develop other healthy coping mechanisms, strategies, or mindsets
She wanted to get to a place where the challenges could be there and she would not feel weak for having to deal with them or weak in facing them but rather calm among them
I put this in perspective by likening this process of inner growth and healing to wearing shoes
We did not develop shoes to get rid of the rocks on the ground that were hurting our feet, we developed them to walk across the rocks with more ease and without the pain they were causing
We know the rocks will always be there—its part of mother nature and unchangeable. Even paved roads and the bottom of the ocean has rocks and pebbles or rough surfaces or even crumbs
But shoes give us the opportunity to confidently walk across a rocky path and come out on the other side
When I am working with clients, it is not so much about ‘getting rid of problems’ or having this ‘fix it or you are a failure’ mentality—although I believe we can overcome and lay to rest many old parts of ourselves, behaviors, habits, and beliefs…it is really about giving them permission to put the shoes on and know they are not weak for needing them or wearing them
Sometimes we will rock across the hot coals without shoes on to expose to the pain, but only so we can then learn what shoes would be best to walk across them
In other words, rather than trying to ‘never xyz again’ we instead say ‘how can I approach this with ease when it comes up?’, ‘how can I separate myself from this problem and make it tangible?’, ‘what do I need in order to go across this path with more ease?’
It is so easy to judge ourselves based on what we think is ‘right’ or ‘better’ or what ‘others are able to do’ but rarely is this conducive to lasting change
Your path will likely be rocky, eventually there will be less rocks as you walk across, pick them up, and move them…but you cannot do that until you put on the shoes, endure the pain, or face the inevitability of challenges that come with new levels, new mindsets, new journeys, and new outcomes
You have to build efficacy and trust that you can do the things you say you are going to do and the faith that you not only will but that you are prepared to because you are committed to your growth, development, and self-awareness
But that can’t happen until you let go of control, ego, judgment, shame…put the shoes on, and walk the path
Give yourself permission to heal, to grow, to find peace
Learn more about how we can work together to Build More than Just a Body through an improved relationship with food, your body, and your goals using psychology, personal development, mindset work, evidence backed action steps, and custom designed tools for your needs in my PTG process by visiting celestial.fit now
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