I sometimes have to just stop and reflect on the girl I once was and how much I had to learn to love, accept, embrace, and challenge her in order to become the version of myself I am now


I am so happy and grateful to be so happy and grateful


It is sometimes surreal to me to think of the reality I lived in day to day


How the way I felt and the way I was thinking and feeling and living was impacting my entire view on life and infiltrating it with darkness


Some people think I love mindset and personal development and psychology ‘just because’ and some call it “woo woo” or will day it doesn’t aCtUaLlY matter (I’ll save my thoughts on that for later)

But It changed my life and allowed me to find peace from my own demons and find freedom from the ways I sought and harbored control as well as refuge from my own self


It is hard to believe there was a time when I was so depressed and anxious to contemplate killing my self


It is hard to believe there was a time when I forced myself to exercise after every morsel of food I consumed


It is hard to believe there was a time when I felt I had to hide my body in shame of not fulfilling the expectations I thought others had for me


It is hard to believe I wouldn’t even want to carry other people’s food or left overs in fear of someone seeing me with something other than a “clean bro diet” meal


It is hard to believe that I felt I wasn’t worthy of the title “trainer” or “competitor” or “gym rat” without deep lines and conditioning and muscles popping


It is just so sad to think I was so confined to the dark corners of my mind before despite having so much to be happy and proud of


I was in a constant battle with myself which led to constant battles with my body and food and my identity


But how rewarding and freeing and EMPOWERING it is to know that I was able to change that around and make complete peace with MYSELF, my body, food, and my goals


It’s my mission to help others #BUILDMORETHANJUSTABODY and I feel we are only scratching the surface


I don’t want others to go through what I did the hard way, I want to help guide you to the solutions you need with as much ease as possible


You don’t have to go at it blindly❤️