Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
This pic sums up how my improvement season is going🤪😍💪🏻
🤗I am happy!
🍽I’m well fed!
😛I am having fun!
💪🏻I am making muscle & strength gains!
💆🏻♀️I’m at peace with my body and food 9.9/10!
My body loves me back and is functioning at a high level for me!
⌛️I have totally 100% accepted and embraced taking time off!
Phew! Last time I competed was September!🤯
I can’t even believe it’s been 5 months going on 6!
It feels so good to have everything in order.
Body, relationships, school, business, the works!
I feel like this is the period of time I will look back on and be like I am SO glad I did that!
I’m really really in full belief that time is on my side and you should all know by now I don’t plan to step on stage again unless I’m way better than I was!
Last season I gained a ton of experience and momentum and I improved sooo much in a healthy and fulfilling way!
But my body still wouldn’t have been highly competitive at a national level.
Dieting down / prepping more wouldn’t have gotten me there either.
Building and a beak was the most logical thing to do!
I thought maybe a few months but I finally prioritized my health and feel like now my body is functioning even better!
A body with balanced hormones is able to process, recover, and function way better then one without it!
And I’m feeling that!! It feels damn good too!
Especially when the super human woman strength kicks in around the period!
Just every day I am pushing it!
Focused on more compound movements throughout the week, going up in weight, challenging myself, and creating a solid base for when I consider another prep
(which I’ve basically mapped out the shows / game plan I’d like to do if my coach and body agree with me 😜)
Still eating very clean, mixing in some treats, allowing more freedom, trying new things, just livin!
ANYWAYS! I could go on forever.
Main thing is, YOU CAN FIND PEACE IN AN IMPROVEMENT SEASON!
Your peace may look different from others and that is A-OKAY!
As long as you feel confident, healthy, fulfilled, empowered, strong, and aligned with your goals and actions that’s all that matters!
Every competitor will tell you that competing goes so much deeper than surface level
Being on stage is euphoric
But compared to the effort to get up there, it is a brief period of time in our lives as athletes
We embrace & savor every moment up there as we represent the person we’ve become through the process.
Show day is this tangible, real life, right here, moment of opportunity to see our next level identity come to life in physical form
To witness this is beyond rewarding.
But still, every competitor knows that the peak happens right when you step on stage, if you get it right.
Not a moment sooner, or later.
There is a single moment in time & space in which your very best aesthetic is represented
Yet there is a monstrous commitment to act as though you are already that best version of yourself day in and day out until you arrive on stage to actually physically see her
When you’re killin it in the gym, weighing food, chugging water, & being meticulous about every. single. pose; that’s the becoming
Competing is not limited to show day itself
It’s every minute of the day that you wake up and decide that you either win in this moment or you lose this moment
Every micro moment on prep or in an improvement season is leading to the macro moments that bring our vision to life
The physical becomes a representation of the metaphysical
The body is a canvas for your dreams, beliefs, & aspirations
The peak is the representation of how many valleys you have been through
It was never realllyyyy about the physical result afterall.
It is about what all of that exterior represents within us; the person we become along the way who stands boldly on stage & remembers, “I did this!” We can mold ourselves not just through food & exercise but w/ a single thought, action, & belief
Without mindset, you are only progressing as a body. As a competitor you must Build More than Just a Body!
I’m giving access to my exclusive workshop on tapping into the energetic frequencies of your higher self & your goals!
Send me an email with a reference to this blog post and “FREE TRAINING” will receive free access along w/ a bonus PDF🤩
AUG 2017➡️FEB 2018 in the picture!
Having an eating disorder is no joke and should never be taken lightly.
As a student of psychology and someone who has been through very toxic patterns with my relationship to food I have learned a great deal about these disorders.
I am no expert but it is something I have invested a lot of time and energy into educating myself on and am truly passionate about expanding in.
In a few of my psychology classes I made my entire focus to be only on reading about the diagnosis and treatment of eating disorders because this is something I know to be prevalent in the fitness community.
There are very very specific criteria for a diagnosis for an eating disorder within the DSM-IV.
Maybe you’ve never been diagnosed, you’ve never talked to anyone about your relationship with food, and you’ve never connected the emotions you have about your body or your life to the way you eat. But so much of this is comorbid, treatable, and I believe preventable.
If we can become aware of toxic thought patterns before it becomes a full blown disorder I think this is just as important as bringing awareness to the disorders themselves.
My personal struggle started at a very young age. My first “diet” was a bananas and milk diet. I was always uncomfortable in my body when I became aware that other kids weren’t as big as me.
I felt like the weird one. I was called names like “Bigfoot” and made fun of for my size like one time I tripped and landed on a kid and he called me a “fat fuck” which was rough because all I wanted to do was play basketball with them.
Eventually I kind of grew out of this / into my body but I can remember when I got into fitness it started from a place of wanting to change my body. I was in highschool, around 16 years old.
I went through a breakup, looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw or how I felt in my body, I felt like I had no control, and I also wondered how much better of an athlete I could be if I did more than just go to practice.
So I changed the way I ate and started working out a ton at home. But this is where things weren’t so pretty...
I thought I had to workout after every meal I ate. I was afraid that if I didn’t then I would lose progress, gain fat, and not achieve my goals. I also thought I had to earn everything I ate so whether it was 3x1min jumping jacks after a bite of food or a full blown 50min HIIT workout after a meal, I was committed. This was my way of purging.
I also wasn’t educated or aware of what was actually right for me or my goals. I put my body through so much. And I was never happy with myself.
I also had a diagnosis for depression and anxiety after never-ending suicidal ideations, an attempt, and fear of my own mind that ran through every vein in my body. I felt my nutrition and exercise was the only thing I truly had control over considering I couldn’t even control my own mind.
I had realized that no matter what i did though, i was never content or proud of myself. There was always more to demand of myself.
So new extremes would be reached. I hired a coach, learned what foods were 'bad' and 'good', trained super hard after finally having money to get a gym membership, and on the weekends I was allowed one meal where I basically just binged and binged until I couldn't eat anymore. Then, right back at it during the week.
Eventually I learned this pattern was unhealthy, unsustainable, and causing me a lot of mental and emotional distress while also impacting my day to day life.
This time though and these experiences, taught me so much in my life. Aside from discipline that I’m grateful for it also taught me freedom and self love.
At the time I had fallen in love with fitness it felt like my therapy, may saving grace, and gave me so much! So, I got my personal trainer certification and started studying to receding a degree in clinical nutrition and dietetics.
In 2015 decided to do a bikini competition to see how far I could take my body and see what progress I’ve made and just after treating myself like a guinea pig for so long after falling in love with fitness!
I wanted to experience this.
But my demons weren’t completely gone.
Which became even MORE apparent to me after the show. I had a crazy rebound and the light finally got shone on my darkness with food and my body And it was the pain i needed to discover my true purpose on this earth, to help people BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY.
And thus, my self love journey began and slowly developed into so much More.
I could have sworn I invented intuitive eating as I began diving into the opposite of what I’d done for yours but then I found this was something many people have been through and overcome, I started learning and researching and asking the right questions of myself!
I maintained healthy habits but gave myself freedom.
I detached from the fear of foods and opened myself up to new beliefs and ideas. I began to heal, truly heal from the inside out.
Over this two year period I healed my relationship with food, my body, and my life really. I expanded into personal development, mindset work, holistic practices and beliefs, found and lived by MY truth—not others, and even changed my major to psychology because this is the true work I want to do in the world.
I was finally mentally ready to do another bikini competition and what do you know? It didn’t harm me. Nothing surfaced that I hadn’t already worked through.
I was mentally stable and loved myself at a level where the choices I was making were not from a disordered or distressed place. They didn’t negatively impact how I functioned on a daily basis.
I saw my body as a blessing, not a curse, and I now use the lessons, education, research review, personal breakthroughs and experiences, as well as alllllll my darkness to now bring LIGHT into the world for many people who don’t see it yet. I am at peace.
I was able to find peace.
I became consciously aware before it became too big of a problem. I saw my pain and went into it, poked it, made it hurt sooooo bad, that the only option I had was to clean it and sew myself back up—so I did.
Eating disorders have become more prevalent over the years.
Promoting disordered behaviors, the ‘right vs wrong’ mentality, the ‘good bs bad’ labels, the ‘this diet vs that one’ DOES NOT HELP THE CAUSE.
I think it is our responsibility in the fitness and health industry to promote;
Body positivity AND health
Being aware AND treatment
Accepting others AND loving ourselves
The truth that we are ALL DIFFERENT and just because something worked or didn’t work for you or hurt you or triggered you doesn’t mean it does the same for others.
We have a responsibility to promote educating, helpful, and positive messages.
I have made my life's work about helping others to align inner work with physical results. I help people to Build More than Just a Body to establish a fulfilling, freeing, and empowering lifestyle.
I have created three programs that could be perfect for you if you are going through this:
My 4 Week Food Freedom Academy to help anyone breakdown the barriers between themselves and food, improve that relationship, get in touch with their intuitive eater, and find balance. For all the information and to sign up you can click HERE
My 8 Week Post-Show Personal Development Program for Bikini Competitors to help you make peace with food, your body, and your new goals while heading into an improvement season. I go deeper than surface level, looking beyond macros, reverse dieting, or accountability check ins and deliver my signature mindset action method to help you find peace deep within you so you NEVER experience the post-show blues again without knowing exactly what to do!
This is perfect to enroll in while you are in prep to have for right after the show or if you are currently dealing with the post-show blues this will help you overcome them! You can learn more about it and sign up by clicking HERE
My 1:1 Mindset, Self-Love, and Personal Development Mentorship breakthrough coaching packages where we work together privately to overcome your personal limiting beliefs, toxic relationship with yourself, and unhealthy patterns that make you feel less than your absolute most fulfilled and freest. This is personal and customized to each individual. To learn more and inquire about how we could work together and how this works you can apply HERE
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU DESIRE:
🔥Launch Your Business
🔥Write a Best-Selling Book
🔥Start a podcast
🔥Fall in Love
🔥Buy your dream car
🔥Speak on stages in front of 100s of people
🔥Run, lift heavier weights, compete in something
🔥Get a promotion
🔥MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Your subconscious programming, conscious choices, & current beliefs are either serving you or limiting you from doing what you want!
You might have read this & thought some of this,
“I would love to do that but...
I don’t have money
I suck at x
I am afraid of x
No one knows me
Other people already do that
I am too xyz
I’ve tried already
I won’t make a difference
No one will care“
THE LIST COULD GO ON!!
If anything like that came up it does NOT mean you are bad or wrong or an excuse maker!
I see you as someone with so much potential!
I used to have many negative beliefs that held me back from accomplishing all those things.
Only when my beliefs, efficacy, esteem, & desire are strong do I actually succeed!
A few years ago I hired a mindset mentor, underwent various courses, did tons of my own digging, and was able to effect real change in my life!
It opened my eyes to a world I knew existed but couldn’t reach... it allowed me to expand beyond my wildest dreams!
I finally put my finger on the service my soul craved to give others!
THIS is what I was born to do.
I even wrote a book about some major principles that changed my life & I switched my degree to Psychology!
Now I help people all over the world with my mindset principles & expertise
By healing your relationship with yourself, rewriting your beliefs, & transforming your actions YOU CAN become whoever you want to be!
I work with people 1:1 through my breakthrough coaching calls, followed up with notes & specific action steps based on YOUR needs along with follow ups between calls.
Want to learn more about how we can work together to create your winning mindset?
Send me a message and we can see if we are truly an amazing fit ☺️✨
And of course be sure to get a copy of my best selling book “Believe your way to Badass” on amazon :)
TOP 3 PRIORITIES FOR ESTABLISHING A HEALTHY ROUTINE:
Most people think it’s exercise, nutrition, & then sleep.
But your body cannot recover or ‘harvest’ results without sleep.
And a body that needs recovery, like really needs it (not just making an excuse), will not perform that great in the gym without it!
Especially if your diet is whack.
If you’re not eating for your goals then you won’t see results, your training will suffer, & your sleep will likely be subpar.
It’s hard to say sleep should come before nutrition given my background but honestly, it’s the most underutilized weapon for success
If u have to choose between exercise and sleep, choose sleep and then modify your nutrition.
Plus, if you choose sleep over exercise because your day or emergencies got thrown out of control, YOU can control your nutrition to combat this!
I personally have been supplementing with magnesium, zinc, & 3mg melatonin which have all contributed to my INCREDIBLE sleep lately; the melatonin especially!
I find that with my intense workouts & high commitment to my business along with the work I do, I can knock out like a light!
Plus, I incorporate naps during the day to reset & get back to work with a fresh mind!
I have helped make hundreds of people’s goals a reality as a certified personal trainer and online coach for 4 years!
The difference between working with me and the next person?
I live and breathe all things inner work which means when I introduce you to my Build More than Just a Body system I have done it for myself, my clients have received incredible transformations from the mindset shifts
(one lost over 100 pounds after a single breakthrough session changed her mindset!)
and you’ll know that everything is tailored to your needs, so just because it worked for someone else doesn’t mean I automatically assume it will work for you!
I go deeper than surface level to help you create sustainable fundamental changes that align you to the best version of yourself
If you’d like to inquire about any of my coaching packages, contact me now
🔥BURN THE FOOD RULES🔥
Want a healthier relationship with food?
Tend to struggle with the whole “good” vs “bad” mentality?
Left feeling guilty when you eat “off” your “only eat good healthy food” plan?
Usually binge on foods after not having them for awhile or cutting them out?
Want to overcome that?
READ AND IMPLEMENT THIS SIMPLE YET EFFECTIVE ACTIVITY:
This is actually Something I teach in my online 4 week Food Freedom Academy & my 8 week Post-Show Personal Development Program!
If you want more details on those programs you can click here🙂
OKAY, LET’S DO THIS:
Write down all the rules and regulations you have now or have ever followed in the past revolving around food
(even the ones that could’ve been subconsciously wired into you like the ones your parents believe or taught).
➡️no meals after 6pm
➡️only eat carbs before and after a workout
➡️earn any extra food or treats
➡️cannot eat unless you have worked out
➡️must exercise after eating
➡️always choose zero to low calorie foods and sauces
And so on! Create YOUR list!
Then take note of all the thoughts that come up when you see the food or want to eat the foods that normally would NOT comply with these rules / regulations.
Ask yourself if you can enjoy it without binging
If the answer is no or you feel like you would end up binging then ask yourself where else in your life you feel you don’t have control or what voids you have that you are trying to fill with food—instead of going within and actually addressing that emotion.
When you identify the voids, it is important to go into them and fill them with actual love and healing than just acknowledging them!
(These are things I teach &/or can add support with in my programs)
Lastly, BURN THE RULES...
LITERALLY LIGHT THE RULES THAT DON'T ALIGN WITH YOU, YOUR GOALS, OR YOUR TRUE BELIEFS & NEEDS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!
Watch them burn and Affirm to yourself that you are CAPABLE of knowing what is best for YOU / YOUR BODY; from the type of food to the amount & reasons!
1 Day Post Show Body is Always Awesome, who agrees?!😍
Can’t wait to do this again, but even better!!💪🏻
But for now, I’m right where I need to be and everything is happening with perfect timing!
I struggle to put into words exactly everything I’ve “been through” since September.
My goal is to always keep it REAL with you guys. And honestly I don’t know any other way!
One ‘failure’, ‘mistake’, or ‘setback’ doesn’t define you.
The way you think about yourself does.
The way you talk to and about yourself does.
The way you feel about it all does.
Things may not go to YOUR plan but they are always going according to plan
Don’t try being soooo perfect that you hold yourself back from the greatness that’s already within you!
I wish I could go back and tell myself to relax, that I’m fine, and not to stress or be upset with myself.
But that’s why I’ve learned.
And now I can apply this knowledge for my journey for YEARS to come!!😍
I’m GRATEFUL for this.
From gaining fat, body image, scale, identity, changing goals, and basically throwing shit at the wall until something stuck!
You may not be able to accomplish EVERYTHING you set out to all at once but if you can prioritize the most important thing (in my case it was hormones) despite what it means for other big picture goals...
THEN THAT IS A WIN, A POSITIVE THING, SOMETHING WORTH CELEBRATING!
Just because not every SINGLE thing is perfect doesn’t mean this moment, this growth, this life can’t be.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you’ll never accomplish anything else!
Man, I’d like to believe I’m usually a great writer & speaker but sometimes even my own journey has me stumped for exact expression
I guess sometimes we are left speechless by the things that are better experienced than explained.
The universes way of saying, “Had to be there” maybe?🤷🏻♀️😋
I’ve been “too” skinny, “too” big, “too” happy, “too” sad, “too” wild, “too” boring, “too” extreme, “too” weird, “too” quiet, and plain “too” much for a lot of people.
But to me, there’s no such thing as being “too” much of YOU!
Be all the things
Feel all the things
Express all the things
Do all the things
And when you’re “too much” for someone, just remember, that just means you’re more than enough 😉
And. Being You. Is. Always. Enough.
Oh and it also probably means they have some subconscious bullshit swirling around their physical body that they have yet to sort through, meditate on, or talk to anyone about.
And you being fully and transparently you is just constantly bringing more of that to their consciousness.
Which can be painful for them!
And for some people they like to use that as a way to tell you that because they feel they are not worthy of being enough, then YOU must just be “too much”.
(but that’s none of our business now is it?) 😉
Losing and Winning both Reveal your True Character.
When you lose, you’re tested.
When you win, you’re tested.
Regardless of the outcome the BEST champions:
🏆Take what they got and go back to the drawing board.
🏆Show respect to those they competed with.
🏆Honor and acknowledge their hard work without comparing it to others.
🏆Express gratitude to the sport, rules, judges, and competitors for the opportunity to do what they love.
🏆Go out of their way to congratulate and support other athletes on and off the stage.
An athlete doesn’t have to have a crown, a sword, or a top placing to be a true champion
They are champions for themselves.
They are champions for the sport.
They are champions for others.
The things you ‘have’ to do now were once the things you wanted to do!
Don’t let the mundane of the day to day or the hustle stop you from remembering that this all started with you following your heart to make a dream real.
So when you find yourself getting worked up over what’s on your to-do list today, ask yourself if it’s better than what it could have been or would have been had you not committed yourself to growth.
Sometimes running my own business I get tired of the things I ‘have’ to do. Like those things that just keep my biz up and running!
But with perspective I’m able to see that these things are the things that..
When I wasn’t only working for myself I would have done ANYTHING to spend my days doing even the most mundane parts of my business now!
Because it meant I was finally working for myself & fully connected to my souls purpose.
Even when I was or do work for others, it’s something I LOVE doing, but it can come with some not so inspiring tasks.
But I remember that the majority of all of this, is what I LOVE to do. Therefore, it’s always going to be worth it!
Or with competing.
Don’t let the mundane of the same foods, or cooking, or cardio, get in the way of you ENJOYING every moment of it!
These are the things I now LOVE the MOST!!
Always remember WHY you started something. WHY it is important to you to pursue. And WHY you choose it day after day!
Whenever you find yourself dreading one aspect of it, remember that the most fulfilling aspects of it require you to do those other less exciting things too.
If you’re not able to find happiness, even during the most meh of feelings, then maybe what you’re doing, isn’t right for you!
The main point I’m trying to make is that just because one part of it doesn’t excite you, doesn’t mean it won’t bring you to things that will.
And one day, before all of this started, this entire journey is ALL you wanted to do!
SO ENJOY EVERY BIT OF IT!!
Be grateful for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come to be able to do THIS!
This pic is motivation for me today as in about a month or so I’ll SLOWLY be starting my journey back to the stage w a big ass smile on my face!