Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
Welcome to my Blog
I write a new blog almost daily! Feel free to comment, share, and connect with me! I love hearing from my readers!
One of the highlights of the speaking engagements I do at the Online Supercoach events in NY are these amazing signed frames
My mission is always to make an impact whenever I go to speak.
To be able to see it on paper, reconnect to it anytime I’m feelin bleh, and using it to anchor deeper into my purpose is so priceless to me
I’m excited to be cohosting an event in San Diego with AJ Camila Fandino and Rachael Takesaka for boss ladies who want to step into their power as the female leader they are meant to be, connect with other amazing women, and learn tools and knowledge to implement in your own business!
You can sign up / get more info by visiting: https://lifefuel.lpages.co/san-diego-event/
Hope to see you there 😊❤️
I Was So Ashamed of Myself
After I got back from working a booth at the Olympia I found myself going back to old habits
➡️comparing myself to other athletes
➡️feeling like I had to work off or justify anything extra
➡️completely skewing the way I looked in my mind to be much worse than reality
➡️focusing on the numbers
➡️wanting to control EVERYTHING
➡️letting other people’s judgments get to me
➡️not giving myself any grace
➡️feeling SUPER ashamed that I had ‘gone backwards’
I knew I had to do something about it
One of the things I teach the competitors I work with is to identify their triggers
For me, & many of the women I’ve talked to, these are a lot of common ones
It was crazy to me though because I thought I “solved” my problems with food
I quickly remembered it has to be a conscious daily choice.
When I was in prep I just followed the plan, so I didn’t have to even think about it
But when you step into a new identity of “off season mode” with entirely different goals & some serious things to sort through
It doesn’t always work like that
I went back to what I knew about food freedom. I thought about what I’ve helped my clients with. I remembered what I did in 2015-2017 to overcome these behaviors
But I applied it to myself as a competitor who truly wants to continue to compete & be damn good
I was able to see where & why these patterns were coming up, what identity I needed to live in to feel better about myself & food, & I HAD to set new goals & standards that spanned well beyond a show day, a photo shoot, or an event
The only way I could release myself from the grips & pain of these behaviors was to let go of control, redefine my needs, & MAKE PEACE with where I was at
Since then, I haven’t had any binges, I haven’t compared my off season to anyone else’s, & I absolutely love the way I look
THIS is a healthy place to not just live from but also prep from
I think most competitors are only living up to a quarter of their true potential.
To truly feel fulfilled and excited by this journey in ways unimaginable peace, fulfillment, and gratitude all have to be found internally before they can be rewarded / represented externally
Last year I was able to keep going and going because I had spent Dec2015-April2017 making peace and being at peace with who I was and where I was
I’ll have longevity in this sport because I work ON myself before I work for anything else
Want to start making peace with your body, food and your goals?
Click HERE to sign up for my free 7 day coaching series! See you there😍
Some feedback from my last show was to come in “more conditioned with separation in the abdominals”.
Took this photo moments before leaving for show day fun and a second coat of tan
(Peep the sheets covering ALL the hotel furniture lmaooooo looks kind of creepy actually but gotta do what you gotta do)
I have been working my abs consistently over the months off stage and way more so the past 2 months
I’ve never had blocky abs but have always had the side and mid lines w lil dimple lookin things on the abs hahaha
I’m really committed to putting on more muscle and having a solid base to prep from
I’m excited to see how I’ve developed over the past few months and I’m looking forward to continuing to develop muscle for the coming months
No set competition plans right now other than figuring out what type of program my body is going to respond to
I am working closely with my own coach to make sure we find what’s right for me
In the meantime...💪🏻🧠🥩🍚 😴repeat
On another note: some people think it’s strange to train according to another persons feedback.
But honestly, I love the look of the bikini division and the judges know what to look for.
If they have feedback for me, I’m going to take it because I want to look more and more like the best of em
If I didn’t like the look of the division I’d either stop competing or find a new league.
But my hearts in the NPC now and I got big visions and goals
What do you think?
One of the SCARIEST things I’ve ever done...
A year ago I quit my day job to work for myself full time and it was one of the most freeing (yet scary) things I’ve ever done for myself
I loved my jobs but working multiple jobs, running my own business, and being a full-time student, while also prepping for my bikini comps was just crazy
I couldn’t go ALL in for myself in my business the way I needed to to make the impact I am committed to
I stood up in front of a room of people (who I’d just spoken in front of) & promised to put my two weeks in
I wrote it while waiting for my flight to board & legit almost missed my flight from NY to CA 😰
I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want anyone’s limiting beliefs or opinions to get in the way of me following my souls calling & true need at the time
Once it was done I slowly put the word out and the responses were mixed but I knew what was best for me
From there I launched my podcast, found my true niche that I love so so so much and just want to serve at the highest level and know I’m meant to be here to help, improved my wellbeing and way of life, and found a happiness I didn’t truly truly realize I could just “decide to have” until I did😍
When I was growing up (lol I’m still 22 and feel like I’m experiencing serious growing pains rn) my parents told me the best thing to do is what you love🙌🏻
I never ever did anything I didn’t love. I lived by this belief that I could make a living, be happy, & change the world by doing what I was meant to do
It’s not always easy
Sometimes I question if I’m crazy & should go back to a “regular” job
Running my own business is really intense. But it’s taught me so so much and I’m always learning
Every once in awhile I think I might just barge into big buildings and take them over (idk why lol)
Often times I cry soooo intensely about the pains i want to heal in the world which lights my fire even more
The best part?
I wake up with this smile every day &
I look forward to every task on my to do list because there was a time in my life I was longing to just be doing more for my mission so now I don’t take a single thing for granted
What’s your big dream? What’s stopping you?
Ohhhh boy do I miss competing!
I’ve fallen in love with every aspect of this sport. It’s a commitment day in and day out to be better than before.
When I lift weights it’s not just to show up and workout.
It’s to be conscious about every movement, every contraction, every damn lift.
When I eat food it’s not just a matter of putting a meal together.
It’s being meticulous about how much, when, and why I need it
Every time I pose it’s not just about going through the motions.
It’s seeing the angles, learning more about my body, and allowing my posing to transform as I transform as a person.
Sleep is not just about hoping to get enough rest for the next day.
It’s finding ways to capitalize on it to grow and recover
Even drinking water isn’t to be taken lightly. It’s measured, specific, and has a purpose
And the most important of all? The mindset. Every thought about my body, my food, my goals matters.
Journaling, visualizing, and stepping into my highest identity every day is KEY to making everything else MEAN something deeper than surface level
Every supplement, every check in, every thought, every meal, every workout, every rest day, every nights sleep, EVERYTHING
It all works together to create a new version of ourselves.
And if we can’t commit to growth in every area, then we are shorting ourselves.
To execute perfectly on all the physical work without consistently building ourselves up as a soul, as a human, as a mind;
It would be like having a computer without a monitor; useless...
BUILD. MORE. THAN. JUST. A. BODY❤️💪🏻🧠
👆🏻That is my mission, my purpose, my commitment, To help other people do exactly that🧠
⚒still building muscle⚒
My body has been through so much over the last 6-7 months let alone nearly 2 years.
It’s amazing how much having passion or excitement for something can keep us pushing for more
I have really fallen in love with competing and miss the stage and grind of prep a lot!
But at the same time, I had other things to sort out that would ultimately allow me to come back even better
I feel super amazing about myself, my body, and the way I’m living.
I have goals in mind and I am doing what I need to do to get there
Sometimes things are out of our control but consistent effort to the big Vision and the willingness to shift gears will ultimately be better than just surrendering to it as though it’s our reality forever
Today I’m in an interesting place. I can’t seem to put words to what I want to express to you all
There’s so much on my mind about how I feel, what I want to say, things I’m thinking about that I know could be beneficial for others
And yet I can’t express it right now
I’ve tried typing this caption out numerous times only to fall short of what I imagined
Which tells me I have even more to learn from it all.
I think this is a great opportunity to just say hey, hi, how are you I hope you’re all doing well!! Also hope you’ve have had an amazing end to the first quarter and beginning to the second one
I have been running again which feels pretty refreshing.
My workouts have been super rewarding.
My mindset work is on point and makes me feel sooooo grounded and good
My nutrition is consistent and nourishing
My biz has so many exciting things happening :)) Just really trying to trust soooo much more right now that everything is happening as it’s meant to be
What are you focused on for the next 3 months?
What’s exciting you the most?
How are you feeling about yourself and ability to make things happen?
Are you ready to truly receive all of your goals as accomplishments?
Would love to hear from you guys ❤️
Same Shirt, New Shoulders😯💪🏻
I posted the picture on the left in 2014 celebrating shoulder gains (yes, believe it or not) & took this pic on the right maybe in January this year to capture them!
FIVE YEARS APART
I think in the right pic I’m around 25 pounds heavier too! Prob from all the mental gains tbh 😜
Takeaway: BUILDING MUSCLE TAKES TIME!!! Okay before I get sappy, let’s get real, building muscle, as a natural female athlete is no joke.
Even under PERFECT circumstances. And this is flexed! I still have a ways to go!
Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in what still needs work that we don’t recognize how far we have come. You’ve heard it!
Shoulders have ALWAYS been a major focus on growing for me.
When I first started my journey into fitness I was still a volleyball player and had constant shoulder pain and couldn’t risk training them before a practice or game day!
So I only trained them 1 or if I was lucky, 2x/wk! Now I train em 2-3x weekly!
I could legit outline every practical thing I did between these photos but we’d be here forever.
But the truth is, like we are different, so are our own bodies.
Sometimes my body responds well to one stimuli for a solid 4 months then mixing it up, I reap better results. We are ever evolving!
A transformation photo does absolute zero justice to the process and real transformation of lifestyle & internal mind that must occur to make this transformation happen
I turned toxic relationships with myself, food, & my body into healthy, loving, & fulfilling ones😍
I also became educated in training and got certified, studies clinical nutrition & dietetics for most of my associates & almost a year in a bachelors program before switching to Psychology
I invested a lot of time & energy into treating myself like a guinea pig & learning new things
There’s a lot of habits, rituals, and people to thank for contributing to the growth I’ve had on all levels
I’ve experienced the worst and the best of it all. But I’m grateful for all of it.
I’m a whole different person between then & now
Do everything with Purpose, passion, & persistence!
Apply HERE for my online fitness, mindset, self-love, & or food freedom coaching❤️😊
Can’t wait to help you get there😍
HOW I GOT MY PERIOD BACK NATURALLY
(YOUTUBE VIDEO HERE or scroll down to watch)
HERE’S EVERYTHING in a nutshell:
1.) started seed cycling
2.) got bloodwork done and reviewed results in comparison to things discussed in the “Period Repair Manual” by Dr. Lara Briden
3.) realized my cause was likely HPA axis dysfunction (aka adrenal fatigue) which meant I needed to eliminate stress!!!
4.) cut out all cardio, increased calories drastically, and started taking supplements with a purpose
5.) cut out all artificials, processed foods, or even body lotions and candles. no caffeine, alcohol, or added sugars, and limited fructose intake to 1 fruit per day!
Everything and anything in my control that could be added stress in the body, I cut out!
6.) prioritized sleep!!! As a very busy woman I needed to make this a priority. I started supplementing with a non-addictive sleep aid-melatonin!
7.) supplements that helped me based on dosage and recommendation in “the period repair manual” (swipe for pics)
8.) not mentioned in video but realizing it’s super important and I should have...
I developed a healthy relationship with a menstrual cycle.
I started writing down “I have healthy hormones and get my period every month, whenever it comes I celebrate and all cramps or pain are Better than nothing at all!” “I love getting my period!!” Etc.
I hope these tips have been super helpful for you or tag someone below who could use them!
If you ever want support through the process, I’m here for you!
Please remember, while losing your period may be “normal” as an athlete, it doesn’t make it okay to allow to persist!
Take the time to restore your hormones, it’ll help you function at a a MUCH higher level anyways meaning your body will respond better to everything you do!
The new video is officially up on my YouTube! Celestial_fit: https://youtu.be/odI0vUYqEeE
You can also watch it below!
This pic sums up how my improvement season is going🤪😍💪🏻
🤗I am happy!
🍽I’m well fed!
😛I am having fun!
💪🏻I am making muscle & strength gains!
💆🏻♀️I’m at peace with my body and food 9.9/10!
My body loves me back and is functioning at a high level for me!
⌛️I have totally 100% accepted and embraced taking time off!
Phew! Last time I competed was September!🤯
I can’t even believe it’s been 5 months going on 6!
It feels so good to have everything in order.
Body, relationships, school, business, the works!
I feel like this is the period of time I will look back on and be like I am SO glad I did that!
I’m really really in full belief that time is on my side and you should all know by now I don’t plan to step on stage again unless I’m way better than I was!
Last season I gained a ton of experience and momentum and I improved sooo much in a healthy and fulfilling way!
But my body still wouldn’t have been highly competitive at a national level.
Dieting down / prepping more wouldn’t have gotten me there either.
Building and a beak was the most logical thing to do!
I thought maybe a few months but I finally prioritized my health and feel like now my body is functioning even better!
A body with balanced hormones is able to process, recover, and function way better then one without it!
And I’m feeling that!! It feels damn good too!
Especially when the super human woman strength kicks in around the period!
Just every day I am pushing it!
Focused on more compound movements throughout the week, going up in weight, challenging myself, and creating a solid base for when I consider another prep
(which I’ve basically mapped out the shows / game plan I’d like to do if my coach and body agree with me 😜)
Still eating very clean, mixing in some treats, allowing more freedom, trying new things, just livin!
ANYWAYS! I could go on forever.
Main thing is, YOU CAN FIND PEACE IN AN IMPROVEMENT SEASON!
Your peace may look different from others and that is A-OKAY!
As long as you feel confident, healthy, fulfilled, empowered, strong, and aligned with your goals and actions that’s all that matters!
Having an eating disorder is no joke and should never be taken lightly.
As a student of psychology and someone who has been through very toxic patterns with my relationship to food I have learned a great deal about these disorders.
I am no expert but it is something I have invested a lot of time and energy into educating myself on and am truly passionate about expanding in.
In a few of my psychology classes I made my entire focus to be only on reading about the diagnosis and treatment of eating disorders because this is something I know to be prevalent in the fitness community.
There are very very specific criteria for a diagnosis for an eating disorder within the DSM-IV.
Maybe you’ve never been diagnosed, you’ve never talked to anyone about your relationship with food, and you’ve never connected the emotions you have about your body or your life to the way you eat. But so much of this is comorbid, treatable, and I believe preventable.
If we can become aware of toxic thought patterns before it becomes a full blown disorder I think this is just as important as bringing awareness to the disorders themselves.
My personal struggle started at a very young age. My first “diet” was a bananas and milk diet. I was always uncomfortable in my body when I became aware that other kids weren’t as big as me.
I felt like the weird one. I was called names like “Bigfoot” and made fun of for my size like one time I tripped and landed on a kid and he called me a “fat fuck” which was rough because all I wanted to do was play basketball with them.
Eventually I kind of grew out of this / into my body but I can remember when I got into fitness it started from a place of wanting to change my body. I was in highschool, around 16 years old.
I went through a breakup, looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw or how I felt in my body, I felt like I had no control, and I also wondered how much better of an athlete I could be if I did more than just go to practice.
So I changed the way I ate and started working out a ton at home. But this is where things weren’t so pretty...
I thought I had to workout after every meal I ate. I was afraid that if I didn’t then I would lose progress, gain fat, and not achieve my goals. I also thought I had to earn everything I ate so whether it was 3x1min jumping jacks after a bite of food or a full blown 50min HIIT workout after a meal, I was committed. This was my way of purging.
I also wasn’t educated or aware of what was actually right for me or my goals. I put my body through so much. And I was never happy with myself.
I also had a diagnosis for depression and anxiety after never-ending suicidal ideations, an attempt, and fear of my own mind that ran through every vein in my body. I felt my nutrition and exercise was the only thing I truly had control over considering I couldn’t even control my own mind.
I had realized that no matter what i did though, i was never content or proud of myself. There was always more to demand of myself.
So new extremes would be reached. I hired a coach, learned what foods were 'bad' and 'good', trained super hard after finally having money to get a gym membership, and on the weekends I was allowed one meal where I basically just binged and binged until I couldn't eat anymore. Then, right back at it during the week.
Eventually I learned this pattern was unhealthy, unsustainable, and causing me a lot of mental and emotional distress while also impacting my day to day life.
This time though and these experiences, taught me so much in my life. Aside from discipline that I’m grateful for it also taught me freedom and self love.
At the time I had fallen in love with fitness it felt like my therapy, may saving grace, and gave me so much! So, I got my personal trainer certification and started studying to receding a degree in clinical nutrition and dietetics.
In 2015 decided to do a bikini competition to see how far I could take my body and see what progress I’ve made and just after treating myself like a guinea pig for so long after falling in love with fitness!
I wanted to experience this.
But my demons weren’t completely gone.
Which became even MORE apparent to me after the show. I had a crazy rebound and the light finally got shone on my darkness with food and my body And it was the pain i needed to discover my true purpose on this earth, to help people BUILD MORE THAN JUST A BODY.
And thus, my self love journey began and slowly developed into so much More.
I could have sworn I invented intuitive eating as I began diving into the opposite of what I’d done for yours but then I found this was something many people have been through and overcome, I started learning and researching and asking the right questions of myself!
I maintained healthy habits but gave myself freedom.
I detached from the fear of foods and opened myself up to new beliefs and ideas. I began to heal, truly heal from the inside out.
Over this two year period I healed my relationship with food, my body, and my life really. I expanded into personal development, mindset work, holistic practices and beliefs, found and lived by MY truth—not others, and even changed my major to psychology because this is the true work I want to do in the world.
I was finally mentally ready to do another bikini competition and what do you know? It didn’t harm me. Nothing surfaced that I hadn’t already worked through.
I was mentally stable and loved myself at a level where the choices I was making were not from a disordered or distressed place. They didn’t negatively impact how I functioned on a daily basis.
I saw my body as a blessing, not a curse, and I now use the lessons, education, research review, personal breakthroughs and experiences, as well as alllllll my darkness to now bring LIGHT into the world for many people who don’t see it yet. I am at peace.
I was able to find peace.
I became consciously aware before it became too big of a problem. I saw my pain and went into it, poked it, made it hurt sooooo bad, that the only option I had was to clean it and sew myself back up—so I did.
Eating disorders have become more prevalent over the years.
Promoting disordered behaviors, the ‘right vs wrong’ mentality, the ‘good bs bad’ labels, the ‘this diet vs that one’ DOES NOT HELP THE CAUSE.
I think it is our responsibility in the fitness and health industry to promote;
Body positivity AND health
Being aware AND treatment
Accepting others AND loving ourselves
The truth that we are ALL DIFFERENT and just because something worked or didn’t work for you or hurt you or triggered you doesn’t mean it does the same for others.
We have a responsibility to promote educating, helpful, and positive messages.
I have made my life's work about helping others to align inner work with physical results. I help people to Build More than Just a Body to establish a fulfilling, freeing, and empowering lifestyle.
I have created three programs that could be perfect for you if you are going through this:
My 4 Week Food Freedom Academy to help anyone breakdown the barriers between themselves and food, improve that relationship, get in touch with their intuitive eater, and find balance. For all the information and to sign up you can click HERE
My 8 Week Post-Show Personal Development Program for Bikini Competitors to help you make peace with food, your body, and your new goals while heading into an improvement season. I go deeper than surface level, looking beyond macros, reverse dieting, or accountability check ins and deliver my signature mindset action method to help you find peace deep within you so you NEVER experience the post-show blues again without knowing exactly what to do!
This is perfect to enroll in while you are in prep to have for right after the show or if you are currently dealing with the post-show blues this will help you overcome them! You can learn more about it and sign up by clicking HERE
My 1:1 Mindset, Self-Love, and Personal Development Mentorship breakthrough coaching packages where we work together privately to overcome your personal limiting beliefs, toxic relationship with yourself, and unhealthy patterns that make you feel less than your absolute most fulfilled and freest. This is personal and customized to each individual. To learn more and inquire about how we could work together and how this works you can apply HERE